


Remembering Sunday

by kkfangirl56



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, HEA, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Music, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Pining, Rey and Ben are the same age, Semi Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Romantic Tension, background finn/poe - Freeform, but not too much?, dammit Rey just admit your feelings, idk it's gonna be an interesting ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14075388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkfangirl56/pseuds/kkfangirl56
Summary: Ben and Rey have been best friends for six years and Ben has been head over heels for her the entire time. Six years of pining and he's never made an attempt to turn the friendship into more because Rey doesn't believe in love. But one night out together, Rey starts flirting and Ben can't resist.





	1. Lost In Stereo

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here goes nothing!
> 
> The idea for this story came to me when listening to one of my favorite songs by the band All Time Low. This is my first attempt at writing Reylo fanfiction so bear with me while I get acquainted to everything. I hope you enjoy it!!

_"She's dancing alone_

_I'm ready to go but she's so_

_Lost in stereo, lost in stereo_

_She's out of control, so beautiful_

_In stereo, lost in stereo  
_

_And I've been waiting for so long_

_But she'll never know_

_I'm losing hope 'cause she's so_

_Lost in stereo, lost in stereo”_

_-“Lost In Stereo” by All Time Low_

For the life of him Ben couldn’t figure out how the hell he had gotten here. He and Rey had been best friends for six years now and - Jesus, six years! Had they really known each other that long? It seemed impossible when the day they met felt like it was just yesterday to him.

As an 18 year old freshman in college Ben was tall, lanky, and awkward with ears that he always thought were too big. His raven colored hair wasn’t quite long enough to cover them up. He cursed his mother for talking him into the haircut that took months to grow out to a length long enough to hide his ears once again. His wardrobe was nothing special at the time either as it consisted of mostly t-shirts in a variety of colors and either cargo shorts or jeans. His height alone was enough to make him stick out and at the time Ben wanted desperately to just fall into the background unnoticed. Then Rey happened.

They met at orientation and Rey was the first person he talked to - besides his roommate - since moving in the previous day. She had noticed him sitting alone off to the side of the crowd and approached him, starting up a conversation like it was nothing to her. Ben would’ve had a heart attack just thinking of doing the same thing to someone else.

She was just so friendly and had this aura about her that drew him in. Come to find out that they had quite a bit in common. They had similar taste in movies and music and both of them enjoyed writing and literature so much so that they wanted to make careers out of it. Ben dreamed of working in publishing and maybe even writing a novel of his own one day while Rey wanted to be a journalist writing for a highly regarded publication like the Coruscant Times or something.

Rey was everything Ben wasn’t; she was short, vibrant, confident with a take-no-bullshit attitude and unlike him she had ears that were perfectly proportioned to the rest of her and didn’t need to be hidden by her hair (not that it would’ve made her any less beautiful). She had tan skin with freckles across her nose and cheeks, her hair was shoulder-length and a natural brown color that wasn’t quite ashy but not quite golden either. And the tattoos! Sweet jesus Rey had tattoos!

Ben would never forget the first time he saw them. The first one wasn’t often hidden, as it was on her right arm just below her shoulder. It was a simple black tattoo that Ben thought vaguely resembled two hands reaching towards each other; he had asked her about it once and she said it was copied off a scar one of her favorite movie characters had. Her second tattoo, however, was in a less visible place. The first time he saw it was an unusually warm day for the time of year and Rey was out for a run wearing just a pair of leggings and a sports bra. Ben hadn’t seen Rey show so much of her skin and fuck if he didn’t lose it at the sight. And that’s when he saw her second tattoo: a daffodil on her left rib cage. He had asked her about that one too but she wasn’t quite as forthcoming with the meaning behind it. The first few times he asked about it she dodged the question - eventually she answered with “It’s just my favorite flower okay? Can you drop it please?” and Ben never asked again though he was sure there was more to it.

Six years later, Ben wasn’t quite so awkward anymore. Over the years he’d taken up working out and where he was once thin and lanky he was now broad and toned. His hair was longer now, and ended just past his chin in soft waves. He dressed better too- most often donning slacks and a button down shirt. The weekends were the only time he regressed to his simple T-shirt and jean look. Gone now were his awkward social skills as well. He was still very much introverted and preferred to keep to his small group of friends but he was no longer the shy boy that he was at 18 - he gave Rey credit for that change in him. After meeting her at orientation their friendship developed quite quickly and naturally and Rey even introduced him to her other friend, Finn, who he was initially suspicious of until he realized that Finn was 100% gay. But despite all this personal growth he had accomplished over the years there was one thing that hadn’t changed about Ben: he was still secretly crushing on Rey - if crushing was even the right word for it. He’d never even made an attempt to cross the line from friendship to more for one reason and one reason alone: Rey didn’t believe in love.

At least, that’s what she claimed. Ben wasn’t so sure. He knew it had to do with her past and the fact that she grew up moving from foster home to foster home but that wasn’t a subject she liked to talk about so Ben didn’t bring it up. It also meant that he kept his feelings in check. As much as he wanted so badly to break down those walls of hers and show her that love was in fact real and is the most wonderful thing that people can do, he valued her friendship even more and didn’t think it was worth the risk.

But now here they were six years later, a pair of twentysomethings, in a club with Finn and his boyfriend Poe, so that Ben could drink away the aftermath of his most recent breakup and wonder how the hell he had ended up here.

It wasn’t the part about being in a club with his friends that he was questioning, or even the breakup. He knew that relationship was never going to last - none of them ever did. He wasn’t even upset about it. He just needed to blow off steam from the added stress it caused. No, the part that he was questioning was that Rey, his best friend and the only girl he had wanted for years but couldn’t have, was flirting with him.

Was she really flirting? It certainly seemed like it to Ben. Even sitting at the bar watching her dance with Poe across the room from him, he was pretty damn sure she was flirting with him. She was dancing close to Poe, and grinding against him which shouldn’t make him jealous because Poe was clearly in love with Finn but it almost did. Almost. Except Rey wasn’t even looking at Poe while she danced with him. No she was looking at Ben -right at Ben. Then Poe was no longer at her side, returning to the bar to find his boyfriend. Now Rey was dancing alone and - holy shit did she just wink at him and motion for him to go to her?! No, no she couldn’t have done that - it must be the alcohol fucking with his head. But he’d only had a couple of beers. Sure he was buzzed but drunk? Not at all.

This was all new. They’d been out drinking at clubs together before but never had Rey acted this way towards Ben. Maybe she was drunk. How much had she had to drink? Ben couldn’t remember.

Ben handed over his credit card to Hux, the bartender he’d befriended since becoming a regular at this particular club, as he asked for another beer and didn’t miss the knowing smirk on the ginger’s face.

“What?” Ben asked knowing he’d probably regret it.

Hux chuckled as he swiped Ben’s card. “Oh you know what. You and Rey have been coming to this club for years and you’ve been pining for her for at least that long if not longer. I’ve seen the way you look at her, man. It’s obvious. But I’ve never seen her give you that look before. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Fuck, man, I have no fucking clue anymore. She’s been my best friend since college and I had resigned myself to the fact that she wasn’t into me like that but now with all of that,” he motioned to Rey on the dancefloor, “she’s totally flipped the script on me.” Ben took his card and receipt from Hux.

“Just be careful, Ben. She’s a nice girl and I like her but we both know that she’s not the relationship type and you are.”

“Aye aye, captain” Ben mocked as he saluted Hux.

Hux rolled his eyes. “Captain? No, I’d make a better general. General Hux has a much better ring to it.”

Deep down he knew that Hux was right that he needed to be careful when it came to Rey. If not, he could potentially come out on the other side of things with a broken heart and an open position for a new best friend but fuck if the idea of throwing caution to the wind wasn’t tempting. Ben was so preoccupied with all of these questions in his mind and his conversation with Hux that he didn’t even notice Rey coming towards him until she was next to him and tugging on his hand. He looked at her and there was glint in her eyes that he’d never seen before. It thrilled him and made him anxious at the same time.

“Come on!” Rey said as she pulled Ben off his barstool and began walking backwards, leading him out to the dancefloor.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a smirk.

“I got tired of waiting for you to come dance with me. So I decided to come to you.”

“I see,” was all he managed to say as his brain went nuts over the notion that Rey wanted to dance with him. This was still so new.

“I expected you to put up more of a fight. I was prepared to drag you out here if I had to but I’m glad I didn’t,” she teased.

_Come on, Ben. You got this. Stay calm. Be smooth._

“I’d never refuse a dance with a beautiful woman.”

_Did I really just say that? Oh god this is mortifying. Hold on is she...is she blushing? And smiling? Did that line really work?_

“Alright then. Show me what you got, Solo.”

They stopped walking when they reached the middle of the dancefloor. Rey moved closer to Ben - closer than she’d ever been to him. Another inch or two and their bodies would be flush against each other. Her arms found their way around his neck and his hands landed at an appropriate spot on her waist as they began moving to the music.

The music on the speakers was loud and Ben could feel the bass thumping in his chest. Or was that his heart that he felt pounding? He didn’t know and he didn’t care enough to think on it too much. He was far too preoccupied with the breathtaking sight in front of him. Rey was lost in the music completely, swaying her hips seductively, her hazel eyes fixed on Ben’s and nodding her head to the music.

Then just when Ben thought it couldn’t get any better Rey turned around in his arms and backed up right into him pressing that perfect ass of hers right into his crotch and grinding against him. There was no way she didn’t feel the hardness that was forming in his pants. For a moment Ben felt embarrassed and wanted to move away from Rey but then she took his hands and moved them down from her waist to the curve of her hips. Once she let go of his hands, her own found their way up to his neck and she tilted her head to the side as she pulled his head down so that his nose was pressed into the skin at the base of her neck.

And just like that Ben no longer cared about anything but the intoxicating smell of Rey and the feeling of her pressed against him. With her skin so close to his lips he couldn’t help himself from pressing a kiss to her neck. He expected her to pull away after that but she didn’t - no she sighed and leaned into it. She fucking sighed and leaned into his lips on her and fuck if that didn’t do things to him and his cock. But even that was nothing compared to what would happen next.

As his lips trailed kisses up her neck moving towards the sensitive spot behind her ear Rey pulled away and turned back around to face him. Ben’s hands remained on her hips still holding her tight against him - now that he had her this close the last thing he wanted to do was let her go. She made no moves to leave thankfully. Rey’s hands found their way into his hair and next thing he knew she was pulling him down to crash her lips against his.

Holy fuck did her lips feel perfect against his. They were soft and warm and tasted like perfection. Ben nearly froze up in nervousness but fought back against that instinct because Rey was kissing him and there was no way in hell he was gonna let himself fuck that up. He willed his body to listen to his mind and gave himself a mental fist bump when his lips finally responded and kissed her back. He opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and ran his tongue along the seam of her lips pleading for entrance and she obliged. The second their tongues met Ben was a goner. The feeling of his tongue sliding against Rey’s was addicting and each movement made him want more. More of kissing her. More of her body pressed against his. More of the little moans and sighs he had barely heard from her, over the music. The only thing he wanted less of in that moment was less people around them and less clothes between them. But Ben wasn’t going to push this. He would play it safe and let her be the one to take the lead. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off - not that Rey was easily scared at all, but Ben’s mind was too focused on other things to remember that at the moment.

When they finally pulled apart to catch their breath Rey rose up on her tiptoes to bring her mouth to Ben’s ear, “You wanna get out of here?”

Ben pulled back to look in her eyes and he saw the intent there clear as day. She wanted to get him alone just as much as he did her.

“Yeah that sounds great.”

They walked back over to the bar to say their goodbyes when Hux placed a shot in front of him. Ben looked at Hux with his eyebrow cocked.

“It’s on the house. You look like you need it,” Hux said plainly.

Fuck was it that obvious that his heart was about to burst out of his chest from all the nerves?

Ben took the shot glass in his hand, tipped his head back to down the liquor and then turned around around to join Rey when he heard Hux say, “For the record, Ben, I ship it. I hope it works out for you.”

Ben rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle. “Thanks man. See you later.”

Ben joined Rey to bid his goodbyes to Finn and Poe and half expected one of them to comment on the current situation between him and Rey and the fact that they were leaving together but it never happened. Then again, him and Rey were best friends that lived relatively close to each other and left the club together often to split a cab. Not to mention the fact that Poe and Finn were the type of couple that had the tendency to tune out the rest of the world when in each other’s presence so it was very likely that they really were oblivious and that helped ease Ben’s anxiety.

Once he and Rey stepped outside the club, Rey moved closer and turned to face him. She brought her hands up to his chest and her fingers started toying with his shirt collar and looked up at him through her lashes.

“So…” she purred. “Your place or mine?”

“Mine?”

Despite the fact that Ben had spent plenty of time in Rey’s apartment and was quite familiar with it he for some reason felt that taking things back to his apartment was the better option - like being on his own turf would make him more confident or something. He knew it really made no difference, though. Realistically there was a good chance he was going to be a fumbling idiot no matter where they were.

“Perfect,” she smiled.

After they finally managed to hail a cab the full weight of what had already transpired between him and Rey and what he knew - what he hoped - was about to happen between the two of them at his place set in. He had danced with Rey. He had kissed Rey. He was taking Rey back to his apartment. And Rey had been the one to initiate all of it. Rey _wanted_ him just as he wanted her. Deep down he knew that whatever happened it was likely that this wouldn’t end well for him in the long run but he had wanted this for so long and he couldn’t walk away now. No, there was no walking away now that he had tasted her lips, her tongue, her skin….nope. To walk away now would leave him wondering ‘what if’ for the rest of his life. And if there was one thing Ben hated most in this world, it was the feeling of regret and of not knowing. He wouldn’t let himself go down that path any longer where Rey was concerned.

_I’m damned if I do her and damned if I don’t. Might as well chose the route that ends (hopefully) with Rey naked in my bed and moaning my name._

And with that thought, Ben got in the cab and seated himself beside Rey as he instructed the driver to take them to his building. Rey placed her hand on his thigh and gave him a seductive smile.

No, there was definitely no walking away now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh cliffhangers are the worst right?! *evil grin* Don't worry, the smut is coming in the next chapter! ;)
> 
> Shout out to my wonderful beta, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092) for giving great feedback and being so encouraging! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr here under the same name: [kkfangirl56](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcomed and very much appreciated!


	2. Ruin The Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked for it and now here it is! Let the smut commence! ;)

_“Your body's looking good tonight_

_I'm thinking we should cross the line_

_Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship_

_Do all the things on our minds_

_What's taking us all this time?_

_Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship”_

__-“Ruin The Friendship” by Demi Lovato_ _

 

For the life of her, Rey couldn’t figure out when the hell she became attracted to her best friend. She had known Ben for six years and never once did she ever once think about him in a non-platonic way...until about a few weeks ago. It was all Poe’s fault too. He was the one that had encouraged Rey to ask Ben out after he broke up with - wait what was her name? Eh, who cared what her name was.

_“So now that Ben’s a single man are you gonna swoop in, Rey?”_

_“Umm no. Why would I?”_

_“Have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s totally into you, Rey! And I think you’re into him too. You two would be cute together.”_

_“No, no, no. Poe, Ben’s not into me and I’m definitely not into him. We’re best friends. That’s it. Nothing more.”_

_“You’re telling me that you’re not into Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome? Really?”_

_“Really. I don’t think of Ben like that.”_

She meant that too - at least she did that the time. Besides, she was never gonna be good enough for Ben.  Ben was a true hopeless romantic at heart - a rare quality to find in any guy these days. But then again, as a lover of literature, Ben had to be a romantic. It was sort of a requirement. He liked to say that was what all great literature boiled down to: love and death. Rey guessed that Ben was right though and that is why Rey wasn’t the literary mind that he was.

It wasn’t the death part that bothered her so much as it was the love and romance. Rey was of the opinion that romance in literature had it all wrong - love in real life was never like love in the books and movies. Books and movies tended to portray love as this powerful force in the universe that could overcome anything but Rey knew better. She’d learned that lesson early on in life and that’s when she decided that she didn’t believe in love, at least not  in the way most people do. And that was precisely why getting involved with Ben was a terrible idea. It would only lead to someone getting hurt and it wouldn’t be her. Hurting Ben was the last thing Rey ever wanted to do. She was determined to never give another thought to Poe’s comment ever again. Rey’s subconscious had other ideas.

It was like Poe’s words had flipped some sort of switch in her brain and now she was having dreams about Ben. She was having the kind of dreams you should never ever have about your best friend. The kind of dreams that left Rey waking up with a wetness  between her legs. The first time that happened she fought the urge to slip her hand down into her pants. She’d just had a sex dream about her best friend and that by itself was bad enough. But to follow up such a dream by masturbating felt wrong. Not to mention she was afraid of what sort of images her conscious mind would conjure up after seeing what her subconscious could do. So she fought the urge and she fought valiantly...until she got in bed that night because by the time her head had hit her pillow she was so frustrated and full of pent up desire that she said fuck it and gave in. When her release finally came it was accompanied by images of a head full of wavy, black hair between her legs.

And now here she was in a club with Ben, Finn, and Poe and all she could think about was Ben. Ben and that wavy black hair she wanted to run her fingers through. Ben and those plump lips she wanted to taste. Ben and those long fingers she bet could work wonders. Ben and his cock that she desperately wanted to feel sliding in and out of her.

Rey had tried to focus her attention anywhere and everywhere else. She willed herself to find some other guy in the club attractive but it was useless. She’d inevitably end up comparing each guy to Ben and coming up with ways in which they just didn’t measure up to par. So instead she drank - not a lot but just enough to take the edge off and hopefully make some guy who wasn’t Ben seem attractive enough to take home but it didn’t work. It only made Ben and the idea of taking him home more appealing. So then she moved on to plan B: fuck Ben, get it out of her system, and then never think about him in that way ever again.

She was dancing with Poe when she came to this decision and when she looked over to Ben at the bar she was happy to see that he was already watching her. They made eye contact and she held it. Rey held eye contact with Ben even as she grinded against Poe. She held eye contact as Poe left her to go to Finn and that’s when she took it up a notch by winking at Ben. The wink seemed to work given that it made Ben appear flustered before he turned back to the bar to order another drink from Hux.

_Okay, Rey. Now’s your chance. Make your move._

Rey made her way across the room to Ben without him evening noticing. He was too busy talking to Hux about...were they talking about her? It was hard to tell for sure given Rey was no expert at lip reading but it sure looked like Hux had said her name and Ben had motioned to the dancefloor so it seemed pretty likely.

“...General Hux has a much better ring to it,” she heard Hux say before he gave her a smirk that Ben didn’t even notice.

Before she had any time to hesitate she’d grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the dancefloor where she moved in close to Ben - just inches away from fusing her body to his. Rey wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck and his hands...his hands went to a less than suggestive place on her waist and Rey mentally groaned. Maybe Poe was wrong and Ben wasn’t into her after all. But Rey wasn’t going to just give up yet. So she took hold of Ben’s hands and moved them to her hips before she twisted around in his arms and made sure to press her ass right into his crotch. She smiled at herself when she felt the familiar feeling of a hardening bulge pressing back into her. Now she knew she had Ben right where she wanted him. Her hands made their way into his hair and she pulled his head down so that his nose was pressed right into the base of her neck. Then she felt the press of his lips to her skin and holy fuck she wanted more of that. She wanted to feel his lips against every square inch of her body but first she’d start with her own lips.

Rey turned back around to face Ben, wove her fingers through his hair and pulled him down so she could crash her lips to his. She fought back the urge to smirk at herself when it became clear that she had caught Ben by surprise - he was hardly kissing her back at all.

_Come on, Ben. You can do better than that._

No sooner than that thought had crossed her mind did he finally respond and kiss her back. She felt his lips part and his tongue run along the seam of her mouth and she opened up without hesitation. Rey wanted to lose herself in the feeling of their warm, slick tongues sliding against each other. This would definitely go down as one of the best kisses she had ever experienced. Not too firm, not too soft, and just the right amount of tongue. This was the kind of kiss that made you go weak at the knees. The kind of kiss that made Rey want to drop her panties now and let Ben fuck her right here in this club. But as tempting as that idea was Rey knew Ben and she knew if she wanted to have him she had to get him alone. And that’s exactly what she’d do.

She pressed up on her toes to put her mouth to Ben’s ear and asked in a low, seductive tone, “You wanna get out of here?”

Ben pulled back to study her face before saying “Yeah that sounds great.”

So the two of them had walked back over to the bar and Rey said her goodbyes to Finn and Poe while Ben spoke briefly to Hux.

By the time they were outside Rey was starting to have some second thoughts. This was _Ben._ Her best friend and here she was actually trying - and seemingly succeeding - to seduce him. But she pushed those second thoughts aside. She was determined.

_It’s just a one night stand, Rey. You’ve done this before. The fact that it’s your best friend makes no difference. He’s just like any other guy._

Deep down, though, she knew that Ben was not any other guy. She had a feeling that this might ruin her but she didn’t care at that moment. All she wanted in that moment was to take Ben home and get him in bed.

She turned to face him and began toying with the top buttons on his shirt.

“So your place or mine?” she said looking up at him through her lashes.

Ben took a moment to contemplate the question before answering, “Mine?”

“Perfect,” Rey smiled.

Once a cab finally stopped for them, they got in and Ben instructed the driver to go to his building. Rey could tell he was nervous and if he wasn’t careful he would get so far into his own head that it would ruin their night. After six years of being friends she knew how his mind worked and Rey wasn’t having that. She reached over and placed her hand on this thigh. It was meant to be reassuring and to keep him in the mood. He looked over at her and she gave him her best seductive smile. She watched as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down and she knew she had successfully brought him out of his thoughts. Now all she had to do was ignore her conscience screaming that this was a bad idea and keep him out of his own mind.

~          ~          ~

The silence from the cab ride followed them throughout the elevator ride up to Ben’s apartment and inside the front door.

Rey had been to his place enough times before but walking into his apartment this time was completely different. This time Ben would be taking her to his bed and they’d be crossing a line she had once swore she would never cross with him.

His apartment was big and spacious and far nicer than hers. It was decorated on the more masculine side of modern with lots of grey colors and clean lines. Then there was the view of the lake that Rey would never tire of seeing. The outer wall of Ben’s living room was floor to ceiling windows and you could see straight out onto Lake Naboo. Rey would’ve loved to have been able to afford a place as nice as this - but Rey didn’t have a wealthy family that came complete with this lovely little thing called a trust fund. Ben wasn’t selfish or entitled though. In fact, the entire first year she’d known him she’d had no idea that he came from money at all or that his mother was Leia Organa-Solo - it turned out that family could be a sore subject for him as well.

Before Rey had much time to reminisce she heard the sound of Ben’s footsteps behind her bringing her back to the present. She turned around and he was standing just a few feet away from her, his hands in his pockets.

“So…” said Ben awkwardly.

“So…” Rey said as she slowly moved closer towards him as if she were afraid too sudden a movement would scare him off.

She rested her hands on his chest, feeling his solid muscles through his shirt, and looked up at him. Her own hungry gaze met his as he removed his hands from his pockets to place them on her hips. Ben tentatively leaned down to brush his lips against her own. He may have intended for the kiss to be slow and sensual but Rey wasn’t having it. The second their lips touched it was like a jolt of electricity shot through Rey and she was overcome with her desire. Her hands found their way into Ben’s hair as his own moved lower to cup her ass. She felt his hands give her ass a squeeze before he lifted her up as her legs wrapped around his waist.

Ben carried her to his bedroom and suddenly an unfamiliar feeling settled into the pit of Rey’s stomach. Was it nerves? Or guilt? Or something else entirely? Rey couldn’t name it.

Any feelings of uneasiness went away the second Ben set her down at the foot of his bed and she saw the needy gaze he was giving her.

“We have far too much clothes on,” Rey stated in a low voice as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and began to pull it up.

Ben’s hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. “Let me, please.”

Rey nodded and let go of her shirt as Ben released her wrist. He gathered the material at the bottom of her shirt in his hands as he slowly inched it up her abdomen. Rey noticed Ben swallow deeply as more and more of her skin was revealed. Once her shirt was fully removed Rey watched his eyes grow darker as he took in the sight before him. Rey hadn’t been wearing a bra and now her small tits were fully on display for him. He stood there looking almost dumbfounded for a second before Rey snapped him out of it saying “My turn” before she began undoing the buttons on his shirt.

Button by button more and more of his skin was revealed to her and Rey was completely captivated. After the last button on his shirt was undone her hands moved to his shoulders to slide the shirt down his arms and off of him. She took in the sight before and god damn. She knew he took care of his body but she did not expect this.  Who the hell knew that her best friend had been hiding a fucking eight pack from her this entire time?

She let her hands explore his rock solid abdomen and she could feel his muscle tighten underneath her touch. The man was built like a fucking greek god. The broad shoulders. The defined pecs. The _eight pack._ Dear lord the sight of it all was enough to make her mouth water.

Once she was done exploring his abs for the moment she sat down on the bed and scooted back to the center where she laid down on her back. Ben followed her, crawling onto the bed to kneel between her legs. He ran his hands up her body and over her tits. He gave them a quick and gentle squeeze before placing his hands on the bed on either side of her head. He leaned down and gave her a brief kiss before he pulled away. His hands found their way to the waistband of her pants and she sucked in a breath at the feeling of his fingers brushing her bare skin. Their eyes met and Rey nodded, answering Ben’s question without him even needing to voice it. He hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of her pants and panties and pulled down, removing both at the same time.

Ben leaned down and pressed his lips to the skin on her hip bone and trailed kisses across her abdomen and up to her breasts. He kissed and sucked everywhere before his tongue finally reached out and flicked against the hardened nub, eliciting a moan from Rey. One of his hands held him up as he mouthed at her left breast, the other moving to grasp at the right. Rey felt his lips close around one nipple and suck as he rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger, giving it a pinch. Rey’s back arched off the bed, pushing her tits further into him as she moaned.

“Ben…”

He let out a deep growl before he dragged his lips across her chest to her other tit. “Your tits are fucking perfect, Rey,” he murmured against her skin.

He repeated on that tit what he did to the other as one of his hands wandered across her stomach to the trimmed patch of hair between her legs. He ran a finger down her slit, just slightly brushing against her sensitive clit causing her hips to buck up. Then his fingers delved further beneath her folds earning her a groan from Ben as he felt just how wet she already was. His finger tip circled her clit once more before he slipped the tip of one finger inside her.

Rey let out a groan. “Quit fucking teasing me, Ben,” she said breathily.

He lifted his head up from her tits and gave her what was quite possibly the sexiest smirk she had ever seen. “As you wish.”

Before she knew it, his head was down between her legs and he was lifting her thighs up over his shoulders. He nuzzled at her pussy, his nose brushing her clit before made one long slow lick up her center.

“Fuck,” she hissed as her fingers wove their way into his hair giving it a slight tug which seemed to spur Ben on. His entire mouth descended upon her pussy, absolutely devouring it. His tongue swirling around her clit before moving lower to dip inside her. The sounds of his mouth on her and her moans filled the room as Rey felt her release begin to build. His tongue was lapping at her clit as she felt him slip one finger, and then another inside her. She was already so close but when his fingers brushed against that sweet spot on her front pussy wall, she was done for.

Her release came crashing down on her, her back arching off the bed. Ben’s free arm held her hips down as he continued to lick and finger her through her orgasm. Once her body settled, Ben rose up to bring his face level with Rey’s once again. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, his tongue slipping into her mouth and she tasted herself on him; it drove her wild. She pushed on his chest slightly but enough to get him to pull back, that’s when she sat up and pushed Ben down so that he was now laying on his back.

She straddled his legs and began to undo his pants as Ben watched her with a blazing stare. She removed his pants with ease and was very pleased to see the size of the bulge waiting for her beneath his boxers. She cupped him through the fabric and he thrusted his hips against her hand as he let out a strangled groan. Feeling impatient, she decided not to tease him as he did her and she pulled off his boxers letting his hard cock spring up. She crawled up his body, pausing at his dick letting her tongue dart out to swirl the tip, licking up the precum that had already leaked out.

“Rey…” he breathed.

She wanted so badly to take him in her mouth but judging by the look on his face and the white-knuckled grip he had on his bedding it was not a good idea. She knew if she did this would all be over before she had the chance to feel him inside her and she was not going to let that happen. She sat up on her knees and rested her hands on his thighs.

“Condom?” She asked.

Ben didn’t say anything in response. He just leaned over, opened one of his bedside table drawers and pulled out a familiar looking foil packet. He ripped it open, tossed the trash aside, and rolled the condom on to his dick.

Rey moved and rose up to align her entrance with Ben’s tip. His hands went to Rey’s hips as she lowered herself onto him. They both groaned at the tightness as Rey slowly took more of him in. Once she was seated with his cock fully inside her, she stilled for a minute so they could both adjust to the feeling. Ben was bigger than most of the guys Rey had been with and his cock stretched her pussy out in a way that was absolutely delicious.

After a moment she began to move, rocking back and forth, feeling his cock sliding in and out. It was a bit awkward at first but they eventually settled into a rhythm that wasn’t quite fast but not quite slow either.

It didn’t take long before they were both close to finding release. Ben removed one of his hands from Rey’s hip and began to rub at her clit that was still a bit hypersensitive from his mouth before.

“Come on Rey, cum for me again,” Ben growled.

Just like that, hearing those words from Ben pushed Rey right over the edge.

“Oh, fuck, Ben!” she cried out as she threw her head back in ecstasy. It was better than her dream - better than anything she could have imagined. Her pussy walls clenched down on his cock and she felt him twitch inside her as he came at the same time.

“Rey, fuck!” he groaned as she continued to ride him throughout both of their releases.

For a moment, Rey remained upright and straddling Ben before she gave in and collapsed onto his chest as he slid his softening dick out of her. Her head was resting on his chest and she could hear his heartbeat thumping in his chest. She lifted her head to look up at him only to find that he was gazing back at her.

“Wow,” they breathed at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fans self* is it hot in here guys?? ;)
> 
> Seriously though, I was super nervous to write this chapter given that I have never written smut before. I can't wait to hear what you guys think of it! 
> 
> Here is a link to the Chicago apartment I used as inspiration for [Ben's Place](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2950-N-Sheridan-Rd-191335956-Chicago-IL-60657/2095100727_zpid/?fullpage=true).
> 
> Super big thanks to my wonderful beta, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092). You rock, girl!!
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcomed and very much appreciated!


	3. Time-Bomb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet so buckle up everybody!!

_“Oh, resistance is useless_

_Just two kids stupid and fearless_

_Like a bullet shooting the lovesick_

_There's only one way down this road_

_It was like a time bomb set into motion_

_We knew that we were destined to explode_

_And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage_

_You know I'm never gonna let you go_

_We're like a time bomb_

_Gonna lose it_

_Let's defuse it_

_Baby, we're like a time bomb_

_But I need it_

_Wouldn't have it any other way”_

_-“Time Bomb” by All Time Low_

 

When Ben woke up the following morning, he almost thought the night before was a dream. Almost. Until he rolled over and saw Rey sleeping soundly next to him. She was laying on her stomach, her hair splayed across his pillow, the covers rested just above her ass giving him a nice view of her completely bare back.

She looked so beautiful. So peaceful. He wanted to reach out and touch her, just lightly skim his fingertips along her spine, but he resisted that urge. He was afraid to wake her. He was afraid that once she woke up, the fantasy that the previous night was would dissolve right before his eyes.

Before Ben could consider this fear for too long he was startled by the shrill sound of Rey’s cell phone ringing. He made an attempt to get out of bed to silence it but he was too late. Rey had already jolted awake and was reaching for her phone.

“Shit. It’s Finn,” Rey said as she silenced it herself before grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head.

She stood up and turned to face Ben who was sitting upright in his bed. For a brief moment they stared at each other in silence. A brief moment that was over far too soon. Before Ben knew it Rey was searching for the rest of her clothes and getting dressed hurriedly.

“Rey, what are you doing?” Ben inquired.

“I — I have to go. I —” she stuttered as she gathered up her purse and headed for the door.

Ben leapt up out of his bed and pulled his boxers on before going after her.

“Go? Rey, it’s 8am on a Sunday morning? Where could you possibly have to go?”

“I’m sorry, Ben. I just — I need to go.”

And just like that she was out the door before he could protest any further. Just like that his heart sank.

He heard the sound of a meow and looked down to see a black and white fur ball otherwise known as his cat, Sox, staring at the door as well. Ben reached down and picked up his cat, holding him close to his chest.

“Yeah, buddy I know. I didn’t want her to go either,” he said to Sox.

Ben carried his cat with him to his bedroom and sat back down on his bed. It wasn’t long before Sox was squirming to be let down and Ben obliged.

When Ben thought about it, he really should have guessed that this morning would go this way. Rey had grown up and spent the majority of her life not believing in love. One night with him was not going to change that. But still, he had hoped maybe they’d have a chance to talk about it this morning. He needed to know that she didn’t regret it and he needed her to know that he didn’t either. Even if last night was all he’d ever get with Rey, he could never regret it. Not unless it cost him her friendship.

Suddenly, Ben’s heartbeat began to pick up, his chest began to tighten, and this uneasy feeling settled into the pit of his stomach.

_What if I lose her?_

Ben couldn’t bear the thought of not having Rey in his life at all. Even as just his best friend, she was everything to him. _Everything._

So he grabbed his phone and began typing out a text to her. There were a million things he wanted to say to her. It took him a few minutes of typing and deleting various pleas and questions before he finally settled on and sent:

**Can we talk about this? Please?**

And then he waited for a response. He sat there and waited for a few minutes before he finally got up and moved across his room to his closet. Ben changed into a pair of gym shorts, his favorite college T-shirt, and a pair of nikes before grabbing his gym bag.

Over the years, working out had become therapeutic to Ben in a way. It was one of the only times he could ever manage to shut his brain off and detach from whatever was troubling him at the time. When he almost failed his Theory of Literature midterm senior year of college, he worked out. When he went on his first couple of job interviews after graduating and didn’t receive a single job offer from any of them, he spent nearly an entire week where all he did was eat, sleep and work out.

Ben exited his closet and made his way over to his bed to check his phone. Still no reply from Rey. Feeling the frustration and anxiety growing more prominent, he threw his phone into his bag and headed out the door towards the elevator to go to his building’s gym.

~          ~          ~

Days passed. Friday evening came and Ben still hadn’t seen or heard from Rey since she bolted out of his apartment that Sunday morning. He’d tried texting a couple more times and even called her once. Ben had spent quite a bit of time at the gym that week but working out was beginning to not be enough of a distraction. He needed to talk this out but Rey was the person he would always confide in and she wasn’t talking to him. Who was he supposed to talk to? He couldn’t talk to Finn. Yes, Finn was his friend, Ben guessed, but he was also Rey’s roommate who didn’t always know how to keep his mouth shut. He couldn’t talk to Finn about Rey without it getting back to her. Not to mention, as far as Ben knew, Finn didn’t even know what had happened between him and Rey. Ben was not going to be the one to spill those beans.

He certainly wasn’t going to talk to Poe about it. He didn’t know the guy that well but since first meeting Poe there was something about him that rubbed Ben the wrong way. Poe just seemed too perfect. Poe was good looking, charming, and rising star in politics who happened to also be mentored by Ben’s own mother. No, there was no way Ben would be reaching out to Poe.

That left Hux. Now, Hux had a tendency to come across like an asshole but that was because he was blunt, called it as he saw it, and didn’t sugarcoat. Ben appreciated that about the bartender. Blunt and brutally honest was what Ben needed right now. So as he exited the office building he worked in, he turned to head towards the club.

~          ~          ~

“Uh oh,” Ben heard Hux call out as soon as he walked into the club. It was still fairly early in the evening so the place wasn’t very busy at the moment.

Ben walked over to the bar, took a seat on his usual stool and ordered a beer.

“Now that is the face of man who’s having lady troubles. Saturday night with Rey not go well?” Hux inquired as he placed the beer in front of Ben.

Ben grabbed the pint of beer and took a drink. “Oh Saturday night was great. Incredible. Better than I ever imagined. Sunday morning, however, was shit.”

Ben told Hux more about how Saturday night had been the stuff dreams are made of without going into too much detail. How the sex was mind-blowing, how they fell asleep next to each other shortly after, how he woke next to a naked Rey in his bed, how her phone rang and woke her up, and how she bolted out of his apartment like if she stayed a minute longer it would kill her.

“I mean, it’s Rey so I wasn’t exactly expecting morning-after-sex-cuddles and whatnot but I certainly didn’t expect _that._ ” Ben said before downing the rest of his beer. He slid the glass over to Hux and asked for another one.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do, man? She isn’t returning my calls or texts. I just want to talk about it so we can move forward. Whatever the hell that looks like. I can’t...I can’t lose her.”

Hux gave Ben his beer before tossing a rag over his shoulder. He looked at Ben, plainly, with both hands rested on the bar.

“Look, Ben. You knew this was a risk going into this. You said so yourself - it’s Rey.”

“Exactly. It’s Rey. She’s my best friend. She’s always been there for me. She’s the one person I can talk to about anything.” He took another long drink of beer.

Hux pretended to be insulted by that last statement. “Ben, I’m hurt. As your bartender, I’m supposed to be your pseudo therapist and yet I’m not someone you can talk to about anything? I’m wounded.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Stick to bartending, Hux. You’re a shit actor.”

“Seriously though. You’re having trouble processing this yourself. Rey’s not someone who seems to be very in tune with her emotions and feelings. She probably just needs time to process as well. Give it time.”

Ben guessed that made sense.

“Yeah you’re probably right. You’ve managed to keep Phas around for a few years now so you can’t be totally clueless when it comes to women. Unless your dick is just that good,” he joked.

Despite her being at the other end of the bar from him and Hux, Phasma must’ve heard Ben’s comment because she let out a loud laugh.

“His dick can’t be that impressive when half of it is in his personality,” the tall blonde teased, giving Hux a playful smirk. But Hux didn’t miss a beat.

“You seemed more than impressed with it last night, babe” Hux replied to her with a wink.

Ben couldn’t keep from rolling his eyes at the shameless couple.

~          ~          ~

Ben woke up early the next morning sluggish as all hell but thankful as fuck that he didn’t have hangover.

He’d had two more pints of beer before finally leaving the club. Or had it been three? Either way, he wasn’t hungover but he was in desperate need of caffeine.

Ben slumped his way into his kitchen and over to his coffee maker. He opened the coffee can only to find that it was empty. He was supposed to pick up some more on the way home from the club - that obviously didn’t happen.

“Fuck” he groaned. Now he was going to have to get dressed, and leave his apartment in order to get his caffeine fix. He let out a frustrated sigh and retreated to his bedroom to throw on a pair of jeans and a plain tshirt before slipping on a pair of converse and heading out the door.

His favorite coffee shop was only a few blocks from his place but with the way Ben was feeling it felt more like a ten block walk.

He soon rounded a street corner and there it was: Kanata’s Coffee. He walked in and was greeted with the familiar atmosphere. It was no Starbucks for sure. The place was small with only enough room for a few booth tables along the wall and it looked a tad run down. Still, it served the best damn cup of coffee in the city as far as Ben was concerned.

Maz, the owner, was waiting behind the counter and smiled at Ben as he walked up. She was a small woman, maybe five feet tall, and in her fifties. Her face was aged with some wrinkles and her dark brown hair peppered with greys. She was small in size, yes, but her personality was big and friendly. It was that coupled with the good coffee that kept Ben coming back to her. He came for the coffee but he stayed for the company.

“Ben Solo!” Maz greeted him.

“Hi, Maz”

“You look like hell, kid. Rough night?” she said as she began to pour Ben his usual choice of black coffee.

“Rough week,” he corrected as he handed her the cash for his drink.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked as she handed him the cup.

“No I’m all talked out about it I think. Thanks though.” Maz nodded at him and Ben went over to take a seat in his usual booth by the window. He liked to hang around and drink his coffee in Kanata’s whenever he could because he liked the vibe. Sure, it was a little hole-in-the-wall coffee joint but it had character and Maz was a hoot, so you couldn’t go wrong. Also, Maz kept the place stocked with the current newspaper issues and Ben enjoyed doing the crossword puzzles.

He was well into his second cup of coffee and halfway done with the crossword when he heard the door open followed by a familiar female voice saying “Hey Maz.”

Ben froze in his seat and dropped his pen. He looked up and sure enough there she was looking as beautiful as ever. She was wearing ripped faded jeans, a vintage band tshirt and a pair of black high top Vans that were significantly worn in. Her hair was pulled up into her signature three buns style. There she was standing just feet away from him for the first time in almost a week and Ben was frozen in his spot. He should have known he could run into her here. After all, Kanata’s was even closer to her place than it was his.

_Rey._

She turned around to face him and he met her startled gaze.

_Shit did I say that out loud?_

“Yes you did,” Rey said plainly.

Fuck he needed to get a grip on himself if he was going to finally talk to her about their night together.

For a moment neither of them said anything. The first one in the diner to speak was actually Maz handing Rey her coffee.

“Here you go, darling” Maz said as Rey took the cup from her.

Rey looked at Ben, said nothing, and then went to exit the diner. But this time Ben was faster than she was. He hopped up out of his booth and dashed around Rey to stand in her way of the door.

“Don’t walk out on me again without at least talking to me first, Rey. Please.”

His eyes bore into hers and he saw hesitation and a bit of fear as well. What was she afraid of? Him? No, not him but there was something. He just didn’t know what that was yet but he was determined to find out.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Now would you please get out of my way?” She quipped.

“No,” Ben snapped, “not until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me all week.”

She averted her eyes from his and instead focused them on the coffee cup in her hands.

“I haven’t been avoiding you intentionally,” she replied quietly, still avoiding eye contact.

“That’s bullshit,” he objected. Ben knew she was lying. He could always tell when Rey was lying to him. She could never look him in the eye when she was being dishonest. He was beginning to get pissed off but he knew how stubborn they could both be when they got angry. If he wanted to get answers out of her, he needed to keep his cool.

Ben took a deep breath before continuing, “You haven’t answered or returned a single one of my calls or texts all week. We’re best friends, right? We can talk to each other about anything, right?”

Rey didn’t say anything. She only nodded.

“So talk to me about this then. Please, Rey. I just...I need to know where we stand,” he was practically begging her now but he didn’t care. If that’s what it took to resolve things with her then he would beg. He’d even get down on his hands and knees if it came down to it.

They stood in silence for a moment before Rey finally looked at him. If the way she was looking at him was any indication, Ben wasn’t going to like what she was about to say.

“I was avoiding you because I don’t want to talk about this Ben. We slept together. It’s done. It happened. It’s in the past. I’d rather just forget about it and move on like it never happened,” Rey blurted. There was something off about her voice though. It was almost as if she didn’t quite believe what she was saying. Like she was trying to convince herself of it as much as him. Like it hurt her to say it just as much as it hurt him to hear it.

Ben was frozen, so caught off guard by her admission that he almost didn’t notice when she pushed past him and walked out the door.

“You gonna just let her go like that, kid?” Maz asked, bringing Ben out of his trance.

No he wasn’t. He would not let her walk away like this again. Ben ran out the door to Kanata’s and turned to find Rey walking in the direction of her apartment. She was a decent distance away but not far enough that she couldn’t hear if he called out to her.

“What if I don’t want to forget it happened?” Ben yelled.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at him. “What?”

Ben walked towards her until he was towering over her with only a few inches separating them. He could easily lean down and kiss her right now since she was already looking up at him with those gorgeous hazel eyes of hers.

“I don’t want to forget what happened between us, Rey. I couldn’t forget it even if tried.”

Ben brought his hand up to brush a loose strand of hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear. Instead of his hand returning to his side though, he let it rest against her face, cupping her cheek.

“Ben,” she sighed as she leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment before opening back up to lock with his.

Ben slowly began to lean in closer. He only broke eye contact with her to glance briefly at her lips.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me to stop and I will.”

“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered so quietly Ben almost didn’t hear her.

But he did and it was all he needed to hear before closing the distance between them and crashing his lips against hers. This kiss was nothing like the last ones they’d shared. No this was rushed and frantic. Like they needed each other’s kiss like they needed air. But Ben didn’t let it carry on for too long before he pulled away. He could already feel himself growing hard in his jeans and if they were going to keep kissing like that then they needed to get somewhere private. And they needed to get there fast.

“Your place?” Ben gasped. He would’ve much rather they go back to his apartment and not hers but hers was closer and the less distance Ben had to walk with a hardening dick, the better. Rey nodded, still too breathless from their kiss to speak.

~          ~          ~

So they walked in silence back to Rey’s apartment and thank god it only took a few minutes to get there. It was only a block away from Maz’s and was significantly smaller than Ben’s place. Ben had a 1200 square foot, two bedroom, two bath, luxury apartment. Rey’s apartment was only a one bedroom, one bath and was less than 500 square feet. Rey seemed to love it though. She said it had charm. It was nice enough, Ben guessed but he didn’t know how she could stand to live in such a small place sometimes. He’d offered on more than one occasion in the past to let her live in his second bedroom but she always turned him down. He’d even said he’d let her pay rent if it made her feel better but still she said no. Why couldn’t she just let him help her? He’d deduced that it was a matter of pride for her.

When they walked in and shut the door behind them, Ben expected Rey to turn around and walk towards him like she had that night at his place. She did not do that. Instead she kept walking past her small kitchen/living area and right into her room, taking her shirt and discarding it on the floor as she went. Ben stood there in awe for a moment before she turned around and noticed he was still standing near the front door.

“You coming?” she asked before reaching behind her to unclasp her bra and let it fall to floor. Fuck he’d forgotten how perfect those little tits of hers were.

With that Ben followed her lead and began to discard his clothes as he made his way towards her room. Upon entry, he was greeted with a condom being thrown at him by Rey before she laid back on the bed and watched him undress the rest of the way.

Once his last piece of clothing was discarded, he rolled the condom on and crawled on the bed over Rey and settled between her spread legs. He leaned down to kiss her, just as frantic as their last, before leaning down to capture one of her pert nipples into his mouth. He sucked hard on it, eliciting a loud moan from Rey. He felt her hands land on his shoulders, and her hips shift as if she was going to try to roll them over but Ben wasn’t having it. She had gotten to ride him last time. He’d loved every minute of it but this was his turn to fuck her how he wanted and right now that was her legs wrapped around his waist as he thrusted in and out of her.

He pulled his mouth away from her tits to whisper in her ear, “You don’t always get to have the control, Rey.”

That earned him a groan and a buck of her hips against. Her movements caused his tip to brush against her already dripping wet cunt and for a split second he saw white. He wasn’t going to be able to draw this out with foreplay like he wanted. He needed to be inside her right then and there. He moved one hand down to insert one finger inside her and was ecstatic to find she was more than ready for him. Ben withdrew his finger, lined his dick up to her entrance, and sheathed himself fully inside her in one swift thrust.

“Oh fuck!” Rey moaned.

“Fuck you’re so tight, Rey,” Ben grunted as he began thrust in and out of her, increasing his speed with each move.

The sounds of their moans filled the air as they were both already so close. The week of pent up frustration, sexual and otherwise, was coming out as they fucked.

“Harder,” she pleaded as she wrapped her legs around him and dug her heels into his ass to pull him closer.

Ben was all too happy to oblige to this request. Soon he was practically pounding into her, the sounds of their bodies slamming against one another and their moans filling Rey’s entire apartment.

Before he knew it Rey had found her release, her pussy walls fluttering and clamping down on his cock and he picked up his pace. Now he was thrusting as fast and hard as he possibly could, causing her tits to bounce wildly. It wasn’t long before Ben’s own release crashed over him and he stilled inside her as he felt the ropes of hot cum shooting out of him, filling up his condom.

After they each caught their breath, Ben pulled out of Rey earning him a soft whimper from her as he left her pussy empty. Ben removed his condom and disposed of it in the wastebin by her bed before flopping onto his back next to her.

“So,” Ben began, breaking the silence. “Is this the part where we say this shouldn’t have happened and then we go on with our lives as normal?”

Rey rolled over to lay on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows to look at Ben and fuck did she look absolutely stunning in that moment. Bare naked, just fucked hair, beads of sweat on her forehead and all. She was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

“It should be,” She answered his question looking forward at her headboard and not at him.

“What if it wasn’t?”

He heard the faint gasp escape her lips before she turned her to lock eyes with him.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked incredulously as if she thought maybe she hadn’t heard him correctly.

Ben rolled onto his side to face her.

“What if we didn’t say this never should have happened? What if we didn’t try to go on with our lives as normal? What if we decided to let this keep happening for as long as we wanted it to?”

Rey’s eyebrows shot up.

“Are you serious?” she asked with wide eyes, her voice full of shock and disbelief.

“Yes,” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. That just happened. 
> 
> In case you wanted to see, this is what I envisioned [Rey's apartment](https://www.zillow.com/savedhomes/for_sale/2097342315_zpid/1_pnd/42.912183,-84.314576,37.601176,-93.762818_rect/6_zm/1_rs/1_fr/) to look like.
> 
> As always, super big thanks to my amazing beta, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092).
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Your comments and kudos are so very much appreciated! I love hearing your reactions - it helps keep me motivated and excited about writing this story knowing that I have readers that enjoy it.


	4. Drugs & Candy

_“The sweetness of you on my tongue_

_I breathed you in, you filled my lungs_

_A bitter taste, surrender waste_

_Another weakness_

_You and me are like drugs and candy_

_Take one down for the young and easy_

_You've got me out of my head_

_I fill this space in your bed_

_High on the beat of a breakdown_

_'Cause you and me are like drugs and candy_

_And I don't wanna give it up”_

_-”Drugs & Candy” by All Time Low _

 

“Ben, we - we can’t,” Rey stuttered.

“Why not?” he retorted.

“Because we...we’re best friends, Ben!” she said as if she couldn’t believe the words coming out of Ben’s mouth.

“Best friends that have seen each other naked and made each other cum. If you asked me the friendship is already changed forever. Once you cum on your best friend’s mouth there’s no going back, Rey.”

Rey suddenly scrambled off the bed and walked out of her bedroom. Ben would’ve been worried she was gonna dart off except for the fact that they were in her apartment and she was making no moves to put any clothes back on. No, she was pacing back and forth right outside the open french doors that separated her room from the rest of her apartment.

Ben would’ve loved to have just laid there on her bed watching her pace while still naked. He had a great view of her tattoo that he was still desperate to get more acquainted with but he needed to focus on the conversation at hand. He couldn’t be thinking of throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her back to bed and-

_Focus, Ben. Focus._

She held one hand to her mouth and was chewing on her nails. It was a nervous habit of hers that Ben had noticed years ago. He knew what it meant too - she was actually considering what he was saying. And then suddenly she stopped pacing and looked towards Ben. Her face was etched with hesitation. Her eyebrows were scrunched together and she had now began to bite her lip. Did she not realize just how god damn distracting that was?!

“This is crazy. Do you realize what you’re suggesting?” She asked skeptically.

He knew exactly what he was suggesting.

Ben got up off her bed and went to her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and dipped his head down so that they were at eye level with each other.

“Yes, Rey, I do,” he reassured.

“But this isn’t you, Ben. You’re the hopeless romantic, relationship type. Not the friends with benefits type. I don’t understand.”

“Look, Rey, there’s really no eloquent way to say this so I’m just gonna say it. I really fucking like you,” Ben blurted and then his eyes went wide as he realized what he just said. _Shit!_  “I mean, I really like fucking you,” he corrected.

Rey was silent for a moment before giggling. “Wow, such a gentleman.”

Ben rolled his eyes at her and they stood there in silence for a moment. Rey was the first one to speak next and break the silence.

“Okay,” she said quietly.

“Okay? Really?”

Ben was truly shocked. He had thought for sure that Rey would put up more of a fight - even make him go home and leave him hanging for a few days before giving her final answer. He never would’ve thought she’d answer him right away.

“But if we’re gonna do this then we need to set up some ground rules,” she said, interrupting his thoughts. Ben nodded, signaling for her to continue. “If we’re sleeping together, then we’re only sleeping with each other. I’m clean and I’d like to keep it that way. The last thing either of us needs is to catch some nightmare STD or something.”

Ben loved the sound of that rule. For the foreseeable future Rey would be his and only his. Even if only physically. But that was a start. Maybe, just maybe he could win over her heart too if given enough time.  

“Agreed. Anything else?”

“No spending the night. It’s too intimate and couple-y. That is not what this is. We are not a couple. We are just two friends who fuck each other. Can you handle that?” Rey asked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Ben wanted to protest to that rule so bad. He had loved waking up next to her that Sunday morning and he wanted to do it again. But he had a feeling from the tone in her voice that she was not willing to negotiate on this. So he relented.

“I can handle that.” At least, he hoped he could. He wasn’t entirely sure but he was willing to risk it. Rey was worth it.

“Okay.”

Now that the conversation was squared away Ben let his mind go back to the distracting thoughts from just moments ago.

He removed his hands from Rey’s shoulders and crouched down to literally sweep her off her feet before throwing her over his shoulder.

“Ben!” Rey yelped in surprise.

He started walking back towards her bedroom and gave her bare ass a light smack. That earned him one of the sexiest whimpers he had ever heard. That gave him ideas for another time.

“I’m not finished with you yet,” he explained.

“What? Ben, you can’t possibly be ready to go again so soon!”

“Oh no, I’m not,” He chuckled. “Not even close, sweetheart.”

He threw Rey down onto the bed and stood there to admire the view. Rey naked on her bed, anxiously waiting to find out what Ben was up to. She was almost squirming and fuck did he enjoy that sight.

“Then what are you doing?” she asked, her voice laced with confusion, excitement, and anticipation.

Ben crawled onto the bed and hovered over her. He flashed her a mischievous grin before leaning down to kiss her. He kept this kiss slow and sensual, taking his time. He slipped his tongue into her mouth with ease and groaned at the feeling of his sliding against hers as their lips brushed against one another’s. Before getting too caught up in the feel of her lips against his, he pulled away and looked her dead in the eyes.

“Just because I can’t cum again right now doesn’t mean you shouldn’t,” Ben declared.

And with that he began trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck to her chest. Ben paused briefly at each of her tits, swirling each nipple with his tongue and giving them a good suck before moving on. He was a man on a mission and nothing was going to distract him - not even Rey’s amazing tits.

He continued to lay a trail of open mouthed kisses down her stomach, letting his tongue dart out when he reached her navel. By the time he reached the juncture of her hip and leg he could smell how aroused she was already.

Ben got up off the bed and stood up at the foot of it. Rey shot him a confused look which Ben returned with a smirk. He grabbed her ankles and pulled her down so that her legs were dangling off of it and her pussy was right at the edge. He knelt down at the foot of her bed and spread her legs wide revealing her wet cunt to him. He let out a groan at the sight of her already dripping wet pussy.

Ben took his index finger and lightly ran it up and down her slit before slipping it inside her.

“Fuck, Rey. Already so wet for me,” he said, his voice low and needy. His eyes glanced back up at Rey and he saw that she was watching him. Knowing that, he withdrew his finger from her and brought it to his mouth to taste her all while still holding eye contact with her. The second his finger went in his mouth, Rey sucked in a breath. Ben moaned at the taste of her. Salty and sweet and completely Rey. After that there was no more teasing. He needed more and he needed it now. Without warning, he leaned in and closed his mouth over her.

The sounds coming out of Rey as his tongue lapped at her pussy were absolutely enthralling. The moans, the whimpers, the pleas for more.  Ben couldn’t get enough of it. He wanted to make these sounds come out of her every damn day. And then there was the way she’d get when she was close. In those moments, Rey was unable to keep still and she grew more vocal. She bucked her hips against his face, effectively shoving his tongue even deeper in her pussy.

“Fuck, Ben! Yes!” Rey moaned.

Knowing that she was right on the edge, Ben moved his tongue to focus solely on her clit as he slipped two fingers inside her. He repeated the same motions he had their first night together. Rubbing that sweet spot on her front pussy walls as he licked and sucked at her sensitive nub.

“Fucking cum on my face, Rey. Do it. You know you want to, baby,” Ben encouraged, his voice low and gravely.  And just like that, she did.

“Ben!”

Within seconds she was thrashing about, moaning Ben’s name, her pussy clenching down on Ben’s fingers coating them and his mouth in her cream. Ben could definitely get used to making Rey cum like this. The sweet taste of her on his tongue, the intoxicating smell of her arousal flooding his senses, the sound of her moaning his name in pleasure...he would never want to give any of it up.

~          ~          ~

Rey and Ben settled into their new arrangement rather easily. Out in the world they were still the same best friends they’d always been. The only difference was that now Rey let Ben fuck her brains out whenever they got the chance. And fuck if they hadn’t seized every opportunity that presented itself over the past few weeks. Just thinking about all the fun they’d been having was beginning to get Rey all worked up and she’d almost forgotten that she was at work.

Her thoughts were disrupted when she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. She turned around to find her boss, Amilyn Holdo standing behind her. Amilyn was quite unusually tall for a woman, which would’ve made her seem more intimidating and less approachable if it weren’t for her pastel pink hair and kind smile.

“Did you need something, Amilyn?” Rey inquired.

“Yes, Rey. The magazine’s entertainment writer, Jess Pava, has taken ill. This puts me in a bit of a pickle because she was supposed to attend this concert tomorrow night and write a review for our next issue. As you know our deadline is next week. With such little time, there’s no way Jess could find another event to attend and arrange for press passes and tickets,” Amilyn explained.

“Oh no. What can I do to help?” she offered.

“Well I was thinking maybe you could attend the concert and write the review? It would be your first article with a coverline. A wonderful opportunity for a bright, young writer such as yourself.”

Rey was absolutely stunned. Sure, entertainment wasn’t necessarily her specialty or what she wanted to write about for the rest of her career but the chance to write an article that would have a coverline was too good to pass up! This was a huge step for Rey’s career and the fact that Amilyn was coming to her for this meant that she must’ve been making a great impression thus far.

“Oh my gosh! This is such an amazing opportunity. I - yes, I would love to! What concert is it?”

“Oh that’s the best part! I’m told that it’s a band you are rather fond of: Panic! at the Disco.”

To use the word “fond” to describe Rey’s opinion of Panic! was a severe understatement. When she was a teenager, Rey was practically obsessed with all things Panic! and knew everything there was to know about the band’s lead singer, Brendon Urie. She had seen the band live before and it was a blast. This time would be even better because she would get to write about it and have it published!

“You could say that, yes. I’ve been listening to them for years. Thank you so much, Amilyn. Really.”

“No need to thank me, Rey. You’ve earned this” her boss said with a smile before looking at her watch to check the time. “I’ve got to run to a meeting. I’ll have my assistant come see you later to give you the press passes.”

And with that Amilyn was off and Rey turned back to face her desk with a massive grin on her face.

~          ~          ~

About an hour later after speaking with Amilyn, Rey was visited in her cubicle by Amilyn’s assistant, Kaydel, with the press passes and tickets for the concert.

“Here are your tickets,” Kaydel said as she handed them over to Rey. “And these are your press passes,” she handed over two lanyards with black badges that read “PRESS” in bold white letters. “Those will get you backstage and access to your side stage viewing area for the show.”

“I get to go backstage and watch the concert from side stage?” Rey asked trying to contain some of her excitement. She didn’t want anyone to think that she was too much of a fangirl to remain professional. Apparently her enthusiasm was not missed by Kaydel.

“Yes,” Kaydel said with a smile and a giggle. “Now you will also need to show your ID with the press pass in order to get access. I’ve already contacted the proper personnel to inform them that you will be attending in place of Jess and have had your name added to their press list.”

“Awesome! One question though. There are two tickets and press passes here. Do I get to take someone with me?”

“Yes, you can take whoever you want with you. Just inform security that they are with you when you go backstage and it should not be an issue.”

“Sweet! Thanks, Kaydel,” Rey smiled.

“Good luck, Rey. And try not to fangirl too much?” Kaydel teased before walking off.

Rey waited until Kaydel was out of sight before she let out a quiet squeak of joy. Rey already knew exactly who she’d be taking with her to the concert. She grabbed her phone to send Ben a text.

**Wanna meet for a drink after work?**

**_Sure! Meet you at the club at 5?_ **

**Sounds good.**

**_See you then._ **

~          ~          ~

Ben was already waiting for Rey at the bar when she walked into the club. Rey took a moment to admire the sight. He had discarded his tie, undone the top few buttons on his shirt, and rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbow. It was still unbelievable to her that she had seen what he hid underneath all of those clothes. It was almost a crime that he ever had to cover any of it up. Except for the fact that she loved it each time she got to undress him and let her hands wander as she was reintroduced to every muscle.

She made her way over to the bar, unnoticed by Ben, and clapped her hands down onto his shoulder giving him a slight startle.

“Guess who’s the best best friend ever!” She exclaimed.

Ben chuckled and turned his head to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What did you do?” Ben asked, his tone curious but wary.

Before she could answer they were interrupted by Hux asking her what she’d like to drink.

“A vodka cranberry please. Whatever vodka you have is fine,” she ordered as she sat down in the barstool next to Ben’s. Once her drink was placed in front of her she turned back to Ben with a smirk. “You have plans tomorrow night?”

“No I don’t but I have a feeling you’re about to change that,” He replied with a slight smile and a raised eyebrow.

“Yes! Tomorrow night you and me are going to be watching Panic! at the Disco perform live from side stage!” Rey announced enthusiastically.

“Are you serious? How the hell did you manage that?” He asked, his voice full of excitement and curiosity.

Rey went on to explain how her boss had asked her to fill in for the entertainment writer and that she’d be writing a review on the concert for the magazine’s next issue as they both nursed their drinks.

“This will be my first piece to have a coverline on the magazine, Ben! Do you realize how incredible this is for me? For my career?”

The way Ben was looking at her sent butterflies straight to her stomach. It was a look full of pride and another emotion that she couldn’t distinguish. Rey had never seen this look on Ben’s face and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or if it terrified her.

Ben stood up and pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on top of her head. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

“This is so incredible, Rey. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this,” he praised before pressing a kiss into the top of her head - something else he had never done before.

Rey pushed her thoughts on Ben’s gesture out of her mind and pulled back from his embrace.

“So are you in? You wanna go see Panic! with me?” Rey asked for clarification.

“Are you kidding me? Of course! I’d love to go with you!” He smiled.

~          ~          ~

That night as she laid in bed, Rey couldn’t help but let her mind wander back to her interaction with Ben at the club. The way he had looked at her had made her stomach do flips.

Ben feeling a sense of pride in her accomplishments was not what left her feeling unsettled. They had always been incredibly supportive of each other over the years. Back in college they would stay up all hours of the night to help each other study for exams, they’d proofread each other’s papers, and help each other prep for any presentations or job interviews. Feeling proud of your best friend’s accomplishments was normal.

It was the other emotion in Ben’s gaze, the one she couldn’t pinpoint or place a name to, that was troubling her. And then there was the way he kissed the top of her head as he hugged her. What was that? Friends didn’t do that to each other. But that was the problem wasn’t it? Ben and Rey weren’t just friends. They were friends with benefits now and maybe that was affecting their friendship more than it was supposed to.

_No!_ Rey stopped her thoughts from going too far down that road. She was reading into things too much. Yeah, that was it. There was nothing different to the way Ben looked at her - there couldn’t have been. Maybe it was the alcohol she had been drinking. Sure she had only had one vodka cranberry but vodka was notorious for affecting her faster than other liquors. That must’ve been it. As for the kiss on her head, she convinced herself she was overreacting. Her and Ben were the same best friends they had always been. The sex didn’t change that. It couldn’t change that. Rey wouldn’t let it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my idiot bbs are going to a Panic! at the Disco concert next. I wonder what that will be like?
> 
> My idea for how the rest of this story is going to go continues to get more and more clear! I'm guessing that this story will probably be some 10+ chapters long! We have an interesting ride going forward with my Benny boy and Rey and I'm so excited to write and share it with you!
> 
> As always, a super huge thanks to my beta, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092). I couldn't have done any of this without you, girl. <3
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/). Within the week I will be making a post with pics of Rey and Ben's apartments, Rey's tattoo, and Ben's cat Sox (aka my real life fur ball) for you all if you want to see it. 
> 
> As always, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	5. You're Original Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry this update has taken longer than usual! I had some stuff come up in my personal life and was just not in the right mindset to write for about a week there. For the next few weeks or so updates won't be as frequent as they have been before - my semester is coming to an end which means it's time for finals and all the stress that comes with that. That being said, I will keep writing whenever I can and try to update as soon as possible! Thank you for being patient!
> 
> Also I think I should point out that while the previous 4 chapters have been given titles that are the same as the song I used in them this chapter is different. Rather than use the song title for this chapter I chose a lyric from the song to use as the title because I thought it fit better. 
> 
> Speaking of music, I have made a playlist for this fic with the songs used in each chapter. I will update the playlist each time I post a new chapter. You can find it [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> The continued love and support for this fic means so much to me! Thank you so much! I'll stop rambling now so you can read and (hopefully) enjoy!

_“I was fine, just a guy living on my own_

_Waiting for the sky to fall_

_Then you called and changed it all, doll_

_Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in_

_We both know you'd already win_

_Mm, you're original sin_

_You fooled me once with your eyes now, honey_

_You fooled me twice with your lies and I say_

_Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn't care_

_She lives in her world so unaware_

_Does she know that my destiny lies with her?_

_Sarah, oh Sarah_

_Are you saving me?”_

_-“Sarah Smiles” by Panic! at the Disco_

 

The next day dragged on like hell for Ben. He couldn’t wait to get off work so he could go meet up with Rey for the concert. It wasn’t so much the concert he was excited about as it was spending time with Rey. By the time his work day ended he practically leapt out of his desk chair, grabbed his messenger bag, went out the door, and headed towards Rey’s office.

The walk from his office to Rey’s wasn’t too far but it still left enough time for his thoughts to wander to places that his workday often left closed off. Truthfully, Ben knew that he was getting in too deep where Rey was concerned but he couldn’t stop. It was as if Ben was an addict and Rey was his drug. Still, he couldn’t help but be worried of what he’d be left with once this thing with Rey ended. Because it was inevitable that it would end at some point wasn’t it? Ben had never done the friends with benefits thing before but he couldn’t imagine that it would last for too long.

Luckily, Ben’s anxious mind was cut off from getting too deep in such thoughts when he reached Rey’s office building and saw her already waiting for him. Rey was sitting on a bench in front of the building wearing a form fitting black t-shirt that had some sort of graphic design on it, a black blazer with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, a pair of dark wash jeans, and some black leather flats that came to a point at the toes.

She was in the middle of a phone call when Ben walked up to her. As soon as she saw him, her face lit up with a big smile. She politely told whoever she was talking to that she had to go.

“Finn, I gotta go. We’ll talk more tomorrow….Okay, bye.” She said before hanging up and putting her phone in her pocket. She then jumped up and threw her arms around Ben, catching him a bit off guard.

His arms instantly wrapped around her to return the hug and pull her closer as he chuckled, “Someone’s excited for this concert.”

Rey pulled back a bit to look at him. She had one eyebrow raised and this smirk on her face that Ben found so cute.

“Duh, Ben. Are you kidding? I’m more than excited!”

She looked more than excited too. It was adorable. Ben loved this giddy side of her. Every time he saw it he found himself wanting to see it more. He wanted to dip down and kiss her, to get lost in the feel of her lips and taste of her tongue, but he fought that urge.

“Alright, fangirl let’s get going. We don’t wanna be late.”

~          ~          ~

They arrived at the arena where the concert was taking place roughly an hour before show time. Ben was relieved to find that the lines to get in weren’t too long. They passed through the metal detectors without any issues and Rey showed their tickets and press passes to the usher at the entrance. The usher told them how to get to their side stage viewing area and they thanked him before making their way in that direction.

They were about to enter the lower seating level of the arena when Rey suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned to face Ben.

“Can we stop by the merch stand first?” She asked with a giddy smile.

Of course she would want to stop at the merch stand.

“Sure,” Ben replied.

Rey grabbed his hand, threading her fingers through his and pulled him along. Watching Rey try to decide what she wanted to buy was quite amusing to Ben. She was like a kid in a candy store. Her eyes lit up as she took in all the t-shirts, wristbands, hats and various other items with the band’s logo and frontman pictured on them. The look on her face said that if she could she would’ve bought one of everything.

“Are you going to get one?” Ben asked.

“I want to but-” Rey paused, biting her lip. “I have rent due this week and I just...I can’t. It’s no big deal though. I’m gonna go use the restroom real quick. I’ll be right back.”

She had tried to hide it but Ben could see the disappointment all over her face. He hated seeing that look on her face. Without giving it a second thought Ben walked back over to the merch stand, picked out a shirt that had Panic’s logo on the front and the tour dates on the back. As he went to hand his credit card to the cashier he had a split second of hesitation. A split second where he thought maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

 _Fuck it,_ he thought as he handed over is card.

He turned around to go back where Rey had left him and there she was already waiting for him with a puzzled look on her face.

“Did you decide to get a shirt for yourself?” Her words were meant to tease but there was a certain quality to her voice that didn’t match that. She sounded as if she knew what his answer would be but was hoping he would prove her wrong.

“Um, no. I uh - I actually I got this for you,” Ben stuttered, tentatively holding out the shirt for her to take.

Rey made no move to take the shirt from him.

“Ben, you...you shouldn’t have done that. That was unnecessary. You should just take it back,” Rey insisted.

_So that’s how this is gonna go?_

“I can’t. No refunds,” he stated. “So, please, just take the shirt Rey.”

She crossed her arms and stared at him defiantly. “No. I don’t want it.”

Ben smirked and rolled his eyes at her. “Fine, I’ll just keep it.”

“Fine,” there was a moment’s pause before she continued. “Let’s go. We don’t want to miss the start of the show.” And with that she turned and began walking.

They followed the directions given to them by the usher at the gate, entered the lower level seating of the arena and walked all the way down the stairs to the floor seating where there was another usher waiting. They showed him their tickets and press passes and he directed them to follow the aisle all the way to the barricade that separated the seating from the stage area.

Upon reaching the barricade they were stopped by briefly by a security guard who asked to see their press passes before they were allowed entry. The guard let them through and told them that there was a seating area backstage where they could wait for the show to start.

They were led to a medium sized room with cinderblock walls that filled with personnel from other magazines, blogs and various publications.

It was not lost on Ben that Rey had not taken his hand back in hers after the merch stand. He missed the feeling of her hand in his. Maybe he had overstepped a bit buying her that t-shirt. _No, fuck that_. He was not going to blame himself or feel bad about doing something nice for her. She just needed to learn to accept a gift.

His thoughts were interrupted when the room suddenly fell silent and Rey let out a quiet gasp. Rey’s eyes were fixed on the door they had entered the room where Brendon Urie himself was standing flanked by a taller, straight faced man that was dressed head to toe in black.

The Panic! at the Disco frontman looked as dapper as ever dressed in skinny black leather pants, a black T-shirt, and a metallic gold suit jacket with a sort of leopard print pattern on it. He had his typical wide eyed smile on his face as he greeted everyone at once.

“Hey, guys. I’m Brendon. I just wanted to stop in, say hi, and thank you all for coming tonight. I hope you all enjoy yourselves!”

Urie made his way through the room and shook the hands of each and every person in there. When he reach Ben and Rey, Rey looked as though she was ready to burst out of her own skin. Her eyes were wide and she had quite possibly the biggest smile Ben had ever seen from her on her face. She shook Brendon’s hand eagerly as she told him that she had been a big fan of his since she was a teenager.

“Aw, thank you so much. That means a lot,” Brendon smiled before moving on.

As soon as Brendon was out of earshot, Rey turned back to Ben with a smile so big he thought her face would split in two.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” she babbled as she threw her arms around Ben. Despite being taken aback by her sudden hug after her cold reaction to the t-shirt, his arms wrapped around her instinctively. “Did that really just happen?”

Ben chuckled. “Yes, sweetheart it did.”

Rey loosened her grip on Ben just enough to pull back and crash her lips against his. The kiss was very brief. More than a peck but still over way too soon for Ben’s liking. But man, the look on her face. He was a tad jealous that he was not the reason for that smile - that he had not had a hand in putting it on her face. Still, that smile made his heart swell.

“Are you happy?” He asked, resting his forehead against hers.

“Yes, I am. I’m glad you’re here with me,” she admitted quietly. Their moment was interrupted by the sound of whistle coming from across the room. Rey pulled away from Ben, removing her arms from around him and pulling away, once again sooner than Ben would’ve preferred.

It wasn’t until Rey pulled way that Ben noticed they were being watched. He looked up and saw Brendon Urie standing in the doorway watching their exchange with a smug grin. His eyes met Ben’s and he winked before turning and walking off.

Ben felt his cheeks and ears heat up and he just knew that they’d be so fucking red right now. He’d be more annoyed at that if it weren’t for the fact that Rey was giggling and smiling again. And the sound of Rey laughing was definitely one of the most beautiful sounds Ben had ever heard.

~          ~          ~

Brendon Urie was a performer through and through. That was obvious to anyone who watched him on stage. Such a confident stage presence and a killer voice made for a very entertaining show.

However, Ben wasn’t watching the show as much as he was watching Rey watch it. The look of awe on her face was absolutely adorable to Ben. It was like the look she had at the merch stand multiplied by a billion. Her eyes were bright and wide, and a huge smile was plastered on her face as she sang, danced, and cheered as if she had access to an endless energy supply. He loved this side of her.

About halfway through the show in between songs Brendon stopped to talk to the audience for a minute. He was at his mic stand at center stage, and had discarded his suit jacket a few songs prior.

“So this next song I wrote for my wife years ago, before we even started dating. Back when I was still trying to woo her,” Urie began before taking a swig from his water bottle. “You may or may not know the story but when we first met she was actually dating someone else. Which really sucked for me - this most gorgeous creature I’d ever seen was right in front of me and she was taken. So we parted ways and not even a year later, we met again - thanks to Hayley of Paramore for that by the way - and this time we were both single. So I wrote this song, sang it for her and we’ve been together ever since. I’m rambling now, anyways. This next song is dedicated not only to my beautiful wife, but I’d also like to dedicate it to all the happy couples out there trying to make it work,” he turned towards the side of the stage that Ben and Rey were watching from and gave a wink. “It’s called Sarah Smiles.”

The music started and Ben was stunned for a few moments before it really registered in his head that Brendon Urie had just winked at him? After seemingly dedicating a song to him and Rey?

Then the anxiety set in - what the hell was Rey thinking?

Then Rey reached out and took Ben’s hand in hers and leaned her head against his shoulder and all of his anxiety melted away as it was replaced with another, much warmer feeling. Did she feel the same pull to him that he felt to her?

_Does she feel it too? Does it scare her as much as it scares me? Does she know what she does to me?_

“She lives in her world so unaware. Does she know that my destiny lies with her?” Brendon crooned.

In that moment Ben felt as though the song may as well have been written about him and Rey. If Rey did know what she did to Ben she hid it well. Ben knew without a doubt in his heart that they were supposed to be in each other’s lives in some way. Their futures were intertwined somehow. He was sure of it.

Without even thinking, he turned his head and pressed his lips into the hair on the top of Rey’s head. He breathed in her sweet scent. His mind was too preoccupied to pinpoint the exact smells, he just knew he loved it and he wanted to let it consume him.

~          ~          ~

Rey was positively beaming after the concert. She was giddy and smiley and could not stop going on and on about how great of a show it was. At one point Ben stopped actually responding to Rey’s comments except in the form of a nod. Ben kept waiting for her to run out of things to say about the concert but before he knew it they were standing outside her apartment door and she hadn’t stopped yet.

“And oh my gosh! I cannot believe he actually walked through the crowd during ‘Death of a Bachelor!’ And then the backflip during ‘Miss Jackson!’ So fucking hot!”

That piqued Ben’s interest. He knew she was talking about Brendon Urie, a celebrity, so it didn’t really matter but he absolutely hated hearing Rey refer to any other guy as “hot.”

“Yeah that was alright, I guess,” Ben grumbled.

“Alright? It was awesome!” Rey gasped as she turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

Ben followed her in, the shirt he’d bought her earlier still in his hand.

“Yeah, I mean, it was pretty cool. Don’t know that I’d call it awesome or hot though.”

Rey rolled her eyes at him as she took her jacket off and flung it over the arm of her couch. She turned back and faced him, eyeing the t-shirt in his hands warily as she walked towards him.

“You know I still don’t want that right?”

“Yes I know,” he answered plainly.

“It was really unnecessary for you do that, Ben,” she reiterated once more before bringing her hands up to his face. One hand cupped his cheek as the other snaked around to his hair to weave her fingers in his hair and pull his face closer to hers.

This time it was Ben rolling his eyes at her. They stood there in silence for a moment, faces oh so close, lips just a breath apart, eyes locked on each other as her fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck. He finally closed the distance, brushing his lips against hers before parting them to slip his tongue inside. Rey moaned into his mouth at the contact and the hand that was on his cheek joined her other in his hair. The t-shirt fell to the floor in an instant and Ben’s hands latched onto Rey’s hips as he pulled her closer.

They moved into Rey’s bedroom, continuing their languid kiss throughout every step. Before he knew it, they were collapsing down onto her bed as they began to remove their clothes piece by piece and tossing them aside. Rey was down to just her bra and panties and Ben only left in his pants and boxers when he settled his hips between her spread legs. Their hands were wandering, as were Ben’s lips as he began to kiss across Rey’s jaw. He let his teeth scrape along her jaw, nipping at it ever so slightly as he thrusted his hips forward to grind against Rey’s core. The moan that escaped Rey’s mouth as the zipper on his pants brushed against her sensitive nub sent blood rushing straight to his cock.

She pushed him up just enough to allow her room to twist her upper body and reach for her bedside table drawer to grab a condom.

“Shit,” she groaned, pulling out an empty condom box and tossing it aside. “There’s a new box in my bathroom. In the medicine cabinet.”

“I’m on it,” he said before smacking his lips on hers once more.

Ben got up off her bed and padded across her apartment to her bathroom. He opened the cabinet above her sink and his eyes landed on advil, band aids, and neosporin before finally settling on the box of condoms and grabbed them. Shutting the cabinet door, Ben turned and made his way back to Rey’s bedroom.

“Got ‘em, babe. Now where were-” Ben stopped speaking abruptly once his eyes landed on the sight in front of him.

Rey was curled up on her side sound asleep on her bed, arms and legs tucked in tight to her body. Ben couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. She looked so adorable and peaceful sleeping there like that. So adorable that he wasn’t the slightest bit upset that he would be walking out of her apartment with an aching hardness in his pants.

After slipping back into his clothes, Ben pulled a blanket up over Rey and tucked it around her. Oh how he wanted to climb onto that bed and curl up around her. To keep her warm by wrapping her up in his arms instead of covering her with a blanket. To wake up next to her in the morning. Ben wanted to do all of that way more than he knew he should. He didn’t do any of that though. Instead he leaned down to brush his lips against her forehead lightly before exiting her bedroom.

Upon walking back into her living room he was distracted by the sight of the t-shirt he had bought her that had been dropped and forgotten on the floor in the midst of their kiss.

His initial instinct was to take it with him and leave but then he got a better idea. He folded the shirt up carefully and looked around the apartment searching for the perfect place to leave it. Knowing that Rey never started a day without a cup of coffee, he decided to leave the shirt on her kitchen counter next to her coffee maker. He ripped a sheet off of the notepad on her fridge and found a pen nearby to scribble out a note for her.

_Don’t be mad. Just say thank you and keep the damn shirt. - Ben_

Ben placed the note on top of the shirt and exited her apartment, making sure the door was locked behind him before heading home for the night with a smug smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was about time we got some fluff in this fic! ;)
> 
> As always, a super huge thanks to my beta and wifey, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092/pseuds/Kattylove6092) aka kattylovesreylo on tumblr. I couldn't have done any of this without you, my dear! <3
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> As always, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	6. Heaven in Hiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sorry this update has taken a bit! But finals are done, my semester is over and I have the next couple of months to write my ass off for you guys and I'm so excited!! I have a couple other Reylo fic ideas so be on the lookout for those in the future - they may pop up in the next month or so, we'll see!
> 
> In the meantime, let's return to our regularly scheduled smut. ;)

_“And when you start to feel the rush_

_A crimson headache, aching blush_

_And you surrender to the touch, you'll know_

_I can put on a show, I can put on a show_

_Don't you see what you're finding?_

_This is heaven in hiding, oh_

_And when you start to look at me, a physical fatality_

_And you surrender to the heat, you'll know_

_I can put on a show, I can put on a show_

_Don't you see what you're finding?_

_This is heaven in hiding_

_This is heaven in hiding, oh”_

_\- “Heaven in Hiding” by Halsey_

 

Rey had no memory of falling asleep when she woke up the next morning. She had no memory of being covered up either but she guessed that was Ben’s doing.

_Ben!_

As the grogginess from sleep wore off her memories of the night before began to resurface. There was kissing….lots of kissing….and groping….and thrusting and then….Ben went to grab the condoms and….oh shit….had she really fallen asleep that fast??

_Oops._ She let out a small giggle.

Her feet dragged on the floor as she lazily made her way across her apartment towards her kitchen. She went to her cabinet and pulled out the can of coffee so she could make a pot. That’s when she noticed it. The shirt. The one that Ben had bought at the concert. Sitting on the counter by her coffeemaker with a note on top of it.

_Don’t be mad. Just say thank you and keep the damn shirt. - Ben._

She turned on her heels and stomped her way back to her room to grab her cellphone. She snatched the device off her nightstand and dialed.

_Don’t be mad….are you kidding?_ She had told him she didn’t want the damn shirt. That he shouldn’t have bought it in the first place. And then he just fucking leaves it at her place with a note telling her to “just say thank you.” _Ugh!_

“Hey sleepy head,” Ben chirped upon answering.

“What the hell is this shirt doing in my apartment, Ben?”

There were a few beats of silence before Ben finally answered. “Well I bought it for you.”

In the background she could hear the sounds of his closet doors shutting which meant Ben must’ve been getting ready for work. With that thought her mind was instantly flooded with images of Ben walking around his apartment half naked. She shook her head as if to dislodge the thoughts from the forefront of her mind.  

“But I told you I didn’t want it!” Rey reminded him.

“Are you that incapable of letting someone do something nice for you, Rey?”

She had nothing to say to that. He was right. Rey always hated when people did things like that for her. It was a matter of pride for her. But still...there was that part of her that knew she was overreacting. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. Lucky for her, Ben cut off the silence.

“Look, if it helps just consider it a thank you for taking me to the show with you. Okay?”

There was still a part of Rey that wanted to say no and tell Ben to come take back the shirt but she didn’t. All she said was, “okay”.

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah just don’t push it before I change my mind,” She quipped with a smirk .

“I’ll stop,” Ben chuckled in response.

It was a few moments before Rey broke the silence and asked somewhat quietly, “Can I come over later today?”

“I might have to work late today so I’m not sure when I’ll be home but I would love to see you.” She couldn’t see Ben’s face of course, but she could practically hear the smile in his voice.

“That’s fine. I’ll just head over to your place after work and hang out there and wait for you?”

“Sounds good, sweetheart. You know where the extra key is right?”

Rey assured Ben that she did in fact know where his extra key was before they said their goodbyes and hung up. Setting her phone down on her kitchen counter, she eyed the t-shirt before picking it up and heading off to her room to get ready for the day. She had an idea now….and she was sure Ben was going to love it.

**~          ~          ~**

The day went by in a blur for Rey. She spent the entire work day busy writing her review of the concert. It was taking longer than she anticipated because she was constantly obsessing over making sure she didn’t sound too fangirly. That was a hard feat for Rey considering how big of a fangirl she was.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the work day was over and she got to head over to Ben’s. Her article was almost finished - finally - and now she could just hang around and relax in Ben’s luxurious apartment while she waited for him. But before she relaxed, she had some...preparations she had to do.

Rey toed off her shoes just inside the door and padded past the living room and kitchen, heading down the hallway towards Ben’s bedroom.

She quickly changed out of her work clothes and into her chosen attire for the evening with Ben. Boy was he in for a treat.

After changing she went into his bathroom to check herself in the mirror. Rey was never someone who thought that highly of her appearances but she knew she looked good - and Ben had given every indication that he thought her body was absolutely perfect so he was bound to love what she had in store for him.

But there was something missing as she looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t place it right away, though, so she did a mental check of her appearance. The clothes (or lack thereof) was good, the little bit of makeup she had put on that morning had not smudged or smeared at all, her hair…. _that’s it._ Her hair was off. She quickly undid the three buns her hair was in and ran her fingers through the strands. The buns had left her hair in loose waves that cascaded down just past Rey’s shoulders. _There. That’s better._ Now she looked perfect. Now all she had to do was wait for Ben to arrive.

She exited his bathroom to retrieve her phone and was pleased to find she had a text waiting from him.

**Leaving work now. Be there in 10.**

That message was time stamped 5 minutes prior and that meant Rey only had about 5 minutes to calm her nerves so that she could be ready for Ben.

Rey quickly dropped her phone into her purse where she left it in Ben’s room before returning to his main living area where she planted herself in the perfect place to greet him.

The second she sat down she heard the click of the lock on his front door. She watched as the door knob began to turn and her heartbeat sped up.

_Here we go._

**~          ~          ~**

Ben swore he had never been so happy for a work day to end. Initially there had been the possibility of having to work late that day. A possibility that seemed even more excruciating than normal after Ben knew that Rey would be waiting for him at his apartment when he got there that evening.

The thought of Rey, _his Rey,_ was the only thing that kept him going through the stress of his day. That is why he left work with more vigor than normal. He was eager to get home to his girl-

_Stop that! She’s not yours, you idiot!_

Ben’s thoughts about Rey were only growing harder to control the longer their little arrangement lasted. He still knew in the back of his mind that he should come clean about how he felt or end it with Rey but he couldn’t bring himself to do either. He was sticking to his original decision to ride this out until it all came crashing down. Until then, he would enjoy every second he got to spend with Rey in his arms.

Ben blocked such thoughts from his head upon arriving at his apartment door. He reached into his pocket for his keys with slightly shaky hands. On some level Ben thought it was ridiculous for him to still feel nervous about being with Rey but on another level he didn’t know that he’d ever not be nervous around her. Everything about her made her perfect in Ben’s eyes. She was the girl of his dreams.

After turning the key to unlock the door, Ben adjusted his grip to turn the knob. The door swung open and Ben stepped inside, closing it behind him.

Instantly he was greeted by Sox who walked right up to him and began rubbing his head against Ben’s calf.

“Hey buddy,” Ben greeted his cat with a brief pet.  

“Rey?” he called out as he walked further into his apartment, his kitchen/living room area coming into full view along with a jaw-dropping sight.

Rey was indeed waiting for him as she said she would be. It was how she was waiting for him that caught him off guard.

Rey was sitting atop his kitchen island with a grin that said she was up to something. She had let her hair down completely and it was falling in loose waves to her shoulders. She was wearing the T-shirt he had bought her at the concert the night before and judging by the way he could see her nipples poking at the fabric she was not wearing a bra underneath it. His gaze traveled even lower where he was greeted with the sight of her bare legs spread ever so slightly. Once his eyes landed on the space between her thighs he was met with a sight that was no doubt the source behind her smirk. Rey wasn’t wearing any panties.

**~          ~          ~**

Rey could tell exactly the second that Ben realized she had no panties on. She watched as his stare moved up her thighs to her bare cunt and saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly.

To him she must’ve looked confident as hell. At least, she hoped she did. In truth, her heart was pounding in her chest. Clearly, she had succeeded in catching him off guard, though. Ben crept towards her slowly and neither of them uttered a word for a moment.

“W-what, uh...What are you doing?” Ben stuttered, running his fingers through his hair.

“Waiting for you,” she answered coyly.

As Ben walked up to Rey she spread her legs wider, allowing him to step in between them and bring his torso flush against hers before she wrapped her legs around his waist. Rey’s arms went around Ben’s neck as his hands traveled up her outer thighs to settle on her hips. As close as they were, Rey was certain that Ben could feel her racing heartbeat against his own chest but she didn’t much care.

“Well this is certainly a nice surprise,” Ben muttered before dipping down and capturing Rey’s lips between his. Her mouth welcomed his and her tongue darted out, plunging between his lips. Her hands slid down to rest on his chest to begin unbuttoning his shirt. As their lips and tongues mingled, Ben’s hands slid underneath her shirt and made their way up to her chest. His hands practically swallowed her tiny tits, her hardened nipples poking at his palms as he massaged them. The feeling of it all was intoxicating. His hands on her breasts, the bare skin of his abdomen under her fingertips, the hardness in his pants grinding against her core. She had to remind herself not to get lost in the moment. She had a plan and she wanted, no she needed, to follow it through.

Rey pulled her lips from Ben’s reluctantly though his lips never left her skin. They merely moved along her jaw and to her neck.

“Bedroom,” she demanded breathily, mentally cursing herself at the way her voice wavered.

“Hmm,” Ben hummed, skimming his lips up and down her neck.

“Ben,” she said, her voice more clear as she tugged on his hair.

Ben lifted his head. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated when they met hers. The look of pure lust and want on his face sent tingles straight to Rey’s already wet cunt.

“Take me to your bed, Ben.”

He gave her a smirk before his hands moved to her ass to lift her off the counter.

They continued to kiss and Rey’s hands kept roaming all over Ben as he carried her to his room.

Once inside his room, Ben walked over to his bed and sat down with Rey still straddling his lap. Rey moved her lips from his mouth and trailed kisses along his jaw.

“Lay down,” she whispered in his ear as she pressed his shoulders back gently.

Ben did as she asked, his eyes full of anticipation, his breathing and heartbeat picking up.

Rey was nervous as fuck. Which she thought was kind of ridiculous. _You’ve done this before, Rey. Nothing to be nervous about._ But no matter how much she tried to remind herself of that, her heartbeat would not slow down.

She ignored the nerves as best as possible and scooted down Ben’s body so she could reach his waistband and undo his pants. A wave of relief washed over her when she was able to unzip his pants with ease, with no shaky hands. Those feelings of relief were quickly replaced with desire and want when she saw the outline of his large cock beneath his boxers. She palmed him over the fabric and watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

“Rey,” her name came out in a moan and she smirked.

She removed his boxers and her pussy clenched at the sight of his hard dick standing at attention, ready and waiting to slip inside her warmth. She had to remind herself that wouldn’t be happening today though. This was about him tonight.

She took him in her hand and gave him a few pumps, relishing in the moans that kept coming from him. His tip was already coated in precum when Rey leaned down to swirl her tongue along it. Ben clearly wasn’t expecting that as he jerked slightly and propped himself up on his elbows.

“Rey, you don’t— you don’t have to,” he protested.

“I know,” Rey said before giving him one slow lick up his shaft. “Just consider it a thank you for the t-shirt,” she added with a smirk and a wink before wrapping her lips around his head.

“Fuck,” he groaned as she took him in her mouth more and more.

Ben was a big guy in general. He was tall, his shoulders were broad, his thighs and biceps big and muscular, his hands large and fingers long. His dick was no exception to any of that. It was bigger than most guys’ while still remaining proportional to the rest of his body. Still, he was big enough that Rey wasn’t able to take all of him in her mouth. What she couldn’t fit in her mouth though, she wrapped her hand around.

Her mouth and hand moved up and down on him in tandem. Her tongue swirled along his length. Every now and then she’d lightly graze her teeth on him or give his tip a good suck and another swirl of her tongue. It wasn’t long before Ben was panting and moaning loudly for her. One of his hands gripped his bed tight while the other tangled up in her hair, holding it away from her face so that he could watch as she blew him.

Rey felt his thigh muscles tense under her hand and his grip on her hair tighten and she knew he was close before he even spoke.

“Fuck, Rey, if you don’t stop soon I’m gonna—”

“Mmm,” she hummed on his cock. She had no plans of stopping. Not until he was filling her mouth with his hot, white cum. She loved that she had this affect on him. That she made him lose his mind like this. That she could make him feel good and moan her name. It made Rey feel powerful in a sense.

She sped up her mouth and hand. Gripping him tighter and sucking more. She wanted this. She needed this. She needed him to lose himself in her mouth. She’d been imagining doing this to him since their first time together.

Within seconds Ben’s cock was twitching in her mouth and Rey could feel his hot cum shooting out and hitting the back of her throat. He came with her name on his lips, as he always did.

Rey continued to suck Ben off through the remainder of his orgasm, not taking her mouth off of him until the last of his spend had been emptied into her mouth. Once he was done, she sat up and looked right at Ben and held his sated gaze as she swallowed.

Suddenly she felt Ben’s hands on her waist and she was being hurled down to the bed beside him. In an instant, Ben was hovering over Rey and crashing his hips against hers.

“Remind me to never again try and stop you from doing that,” he said in between kisses before pulling away and giving Rey a heated stare. “Your mouth....I fucking love your mouth, Rey.”

It was all Rey could do to giggle at his words as Ben continued to lavish her with kiss after kiss after kiss. She hardly even noticed when his hand started sliding down her body towards her cunt. When she felt his fingers graze her slick folds she broke off the kiss and reached for his wrist.

“Ben, you—this was all for you. You don’t—” she began. But no sooner than she got her hand wrapped around his wrist did she feel his fingertips circle her clit causing her to lose her train of thought.

Ben leaned down and slanted his mouth against hers before pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes.

“Trust me, sweetheart. This is gonna be just as much for me as it is for you,” he said, slipping two fingers inside her heat as he moved his mouth to her neck. He started placing open mouthed kisses all along the skin there before moving to the base of her neck. Ben sank his teeth into her skin just enough for her to feel it without it truly hurting. She gasped at the sensation as his tongue glided along the marks his teeth left.

“Ben,” she moaned.

“Fuck, baby look how wet you are for me. You loved sucking me off didn’t you? That’s why you’re dripping isn’t it?” He mumbled against her skin. His voice was low and had a dominating edge to it that was driving Rey wild. She couldn’t even form the word yes to answer him. The only word that would come out of her mouth was his name.

_Ben, Ben, Ben…_

Then his fingers found her sweet spot and once they did they didn’t let up. His fingertips were rubbing at that spot, making that come hither motion that made Rey lose her mind. At the same time, Ben was also using the heel of his hand to press down on and rub her clit providing her that extra bit of external stimulation that was guaranteed to push her over that edge.

Rey let out a whimper at the loss of touch when he removed his mouth from her neck. Ben didn’t leave her wanting for long though. Just when she thought this couldn’t get any better she felt his tongue graze one of her nipples over her shirt before his mouth latched on. He sucked her hardened peak into his mouth, the added friction from the fabric of the t-shirt making her moan even louder.

“Fuck, Ben. Yes. So good.”

Rey could feel her pussy walls getting tighter and tighter around Ben’s fingers. And then he was not so much rubbing at that sweet spot inside her as he was thrusting his fingers at it roughly. With each thrust, the heel of his hand brushed against her clit and it was so, so good.

She began to feel that familiar pressure start coiling up in her belly except this time something was different. Oh, she knew what this was. It had only happened to her once or twice before but she knew it and she welcomed it. Pretty soon she was thrashing about underneath Ben and arching her back as he continued to suck her nipples through the t-shirt while he fucked her with his fingers.

Rey was squirming and moaning loudly but Ben’s voice was soft and low when he said, “Shh. It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

“Fuck, Ben, I’m gonna—”

“That’s it, baby. That’s it. Let go, Rey. Come on, sweetheart.”

And just like that Rey came undone. Her entire body spasmed as she screamed Ben’s name and came with a gush. Her pussy walls clenched his fingers impossibly tight but he kept rubbing her g-spot throughout every wave of her orgasm which seemed to go on forever.

After Rey came down from the high of her squirting orgasm she could feel the wetness on her thighs drying up and turning sticky. She made herself get off Ben’s bed and excused herself to his bathroom so she could clean herself up.

Upon returning to his bedroom she found Ben, still lying on his bed only he had put his boxers back on and removed the blanket she soaked when she came. He was lying on his back, one hand behind his head, watching her as she walked over to where her purse and remaining clothes were sitting.

“So…” She began tentatively as she pulled her panties back on. “I admit, I may have overreacted about the t-shirt.”

“May have?” Ben teased.

Rey walked over and sat on his bed next to him, folding one leg underneath her as the other dangled off the bed.

“Okay, I did. It’s just…” she paused, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt and looking down at her hands. “I’m not used to people doing things for me like that. It makes me uncomfortable. So whenever people do stuff like that for me I have a hard time accepting it. I’m sorry. And thank you, really. It was...sweet.”

Ben reached out and took her hands in his, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs on the back of her hands.

“You’re welcome, Rey.”

She gave him a slight, sweet smile before she laid down and Ben tucked her into his side, one arm around her shoulders supporting her head.

“So there’s this charity gala thing that my mom is throwing this weekend,” Ben began.

“Yeah I think I heard Finn and Poe chatting about it the other day,” Rey interjected.

“Well, I told my mom I’d be there. Actually she more of coerced me into promising I’d attend. And well, I was — I was wondering if you’d go with me?” he asked, his voice uncertain and nervous.

“You mean...like as a date?” she clarified, one eyebrow raised. It wasn’t as though the idea of him asking her on a date was off putting per se. But the fact that it wasn’t off putting, that it actually gave her this warm, fluttery feeling in her stomach….That was kind of off putting. It wasn’t lost on her that the second she said the word “date” Ben was no longer able to look her in the eyes.

“Yes. Well, I mean, no. I — I just thought that if — these formal events are just so...not me, you know? They just put me on edge and make me feel uncomfortable. I just thought that maybe if you were there it wouldn’t be so bad and—”

Rey planted a sweet, chaste kiss on his mouth, cutting him off.

“I’d be happy to go with you, Ben,” she smiled.

His eyes finally returned to hers, full of shock and awe.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space Mom coming soon!! Woo!!
> 
> As always, a super huge thanks to my beta and wifey, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092/pseuds/Kattylove6092) aka kattylovesreylo on tumblr. I couldn't have done any of this without you, my dear! <3
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	7. Kiss Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 is finally here!! This chapter and the next contain scenes that I have been dying to write for awhile so I'm really excited for you all to read it! It's gala time! Here comes Space Mom!!!!!
> 
> If you wanna listen to the music I use for each chapter you can find my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).

_“My heart’s against your chest_

_Your lips pressed to my neck_

_I'm falling for your eyes_

_But they don't know me yet_

_And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_We're falling in love_

_We're falling in love”_

_\- “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran_

 

Ben was a bundle of nervous energy on his way to pick up Rey for his mother’s gala. He sat fidgeting in the back seat of the car, unable to keep still.

Yes, he was in the backseat of the car. Why? Because in true Senator Organa-Solo fashion, his mother had insisted upon getting him and his “friend” a car service to the event. Ben hadn’t even arrived to the gala yet and he was already regretting agreeing to attend, even more so regretting telling his mother that he’d be bringing a date.

The sleek black car pulled up outside Rey’s building and the driver got out and opened Ben’s door. He informed the driver he’d be back in just a moment and he walked in and made his way up to Rey’s apartment. Her apartment was on the 3rd floor so the elevator ride was quick. He arrived at her door, rubbed his hands on his pants in efforts to get rid of the sweat on his palms, and knocked. A few seconds later the door swung open and for a brief second, Ben’s heart stopped.

Ben wasn’t sure what he expected Rey to wear to his mother’s gala but he never would’ve expected this. From what he could remember, he didn’t think he’d ever seen Rey in a dress before but fuck did he wish she’d wear them more often.

Rey was wearing an a form fitting, sleeveless, floor length gown in a deep red. The neckline was a deep v that showed off the small swell of her perfect tits. The dress had slit that came up to her mid thigh gracing Ben with the sight of the creamy skin on her legs when she moved just right. The dress was sexy, yet classy and elegant at the same time. Her hair was down completely and in loose waves, one side tucked behind her ear. Rey, not one for accessorizing either, was wearing a simple pair of rhinestone stud earrings as her only jewelry. The sight of her made Ben’s mouth run dry.

“What? Do I look ridiculous?” Rey asked, a somewhat worried look on her face. It was then that Ben realized he’d been staring dumbfounded for a few minutes.

He shook his head and cleared his throat. “No, um, you look...you look stunning, Rey. Really.”

She stepped closer to him with a smile, the heels she was wearing clacking against her wood floors. Once she was right in front of him Ben could see she was wearing a bit more makeup than usual. There was a light pink flush to her cheeks and her lips were painted red, drawing Ben’s eyes down to them. Oh how he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and kiss every last bit of that lipstick away as he took her on her bed, her couch, her kitchen counter, and basically any other surface he could have her on.

He shook those thoughts from his head as she reached up and adjusted his tie, apparently the knot had come a bit loose.

“You don’t look so bad yourself. You look quite handsome actually,” she smiled.

Ben didn’t need a mirror to know that he was blushing like hell. He could feel the heat in his cheeks and in the tips of his ears.

“Th-Thank you,” he stuttered, earning him another smile from Rey. A smile that said she could tell he was nervous but that she found it endearing.

Ben took Rey’s hand in his and they made their way downstairs towards the car.

**~          ~          ~**

The gala was being held at one of the ritziest hotels in Naboo in their biggest and finest ballroom. Ben knew his mother would’ve spared no expense to make sure the event was beautiful and a joy for all the attendees. Ben thought it sort of ironic though to spend all this money for an event that was intended to raise money for a charity. Wouldn’t it have just been easier to simply write a big check? Leia always scoffed at him whenever he made remarks like that so he learned to keep them to himself.

Upon entering the ballroom Rey’s eyes grew to about twice their normal size. Rey knew Ben came from money but this would be the first time she was exposed to the sort of life and events he was forced to become accustomed to while growing up. He watched her as she took in all the ornate decorations. All the flowers, the chandeliers, the plethora of delicious finger foods being served by waiters and waitresses that were wearing black ties and white gloves. Ben had to roll his eyes at that last detail.

“Wow,” Rey gasped.

“Yeah,” Ben said, drawing out the single syllable word to last a few seconds.

They had barely been there for a few moments before Ben heard a voice call out from behind him, “Do my eyes deceive me or is that really my son that I see?”

Ben turned around and offered his mother a smile.

The small woman before him was wearing a floor length gown in a dark navy blue color. Her greying hair was in an updo that involved a few different braids - just like how she always wore it for formal events.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t come? I did promise I’d make an appearance.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time that stopped you from showing up to one of my events,” Leia playfully chastised her son before stepping towards him with open arms.

Ben returned his mother’s hug briefly before pulling back and returning to Rey’s side.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend, Ben?” Leia inquired.

“Oh, um, yes. Rey, this is my mother Leia Organa-Solo. Mom, this is Rey Johnson my...um…” Ben didn’t really know what to introduce Rey as. Yes she was his friend but to simply introduce her as that to his mother felt wrong. He certainly couldn’t introduce her as his friend with benefits. He felt his cheeks begin to redden once again and the sweat build up on his palms.

Without missing a beat, Rey interjected, “I’m Ben’s girlfriend. It’s so nice to meet you, Senator.”

_Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did she just-? My girlfriend? Where the hell did that come from? Did I hear her right?_

“Oh my boy has a girlfriend! How lovely to hear that and to have met you. And please, dear, call me Leia. Now, Rey, tell me about yourself since my son here, has failed to mention you to me,” Leia gave Ben a playful glare.

Rey went on to briefly recount to Leia how she had met Ben in college before telling her that they only started dating a little over a month prior. She added on a few details about herself like where she worked and such. Ben stayed rather silent throughout the exchange, still trying to process the fact that Rey had referred to herself as Ben’s girlfriend. It wasn’t long before Leia was being pulled away to attend to more pressing matters, as per usual.

“Excuse me, dears. Drink, eat, dance, enjoy yourselves please. And Rey, it was lovely to meet you. I hope to see more of you,” Leia said with a smile as she walked off.

**~          ~          ~**

Ben and Rey made their way around the gala for a bit. Ben saying hi to old family friends he hadn’t seen or spoken to in years since he stopped going to his mother’s functions on a regular basis. It wasn’t totally unbearable, if he was honest. Though he was sure that Rey being at his side helped tremendously.

Once it seemed like they were going to be left alone long enough Ben turned towards Rey, holding out his hand.

“Dance with me?”

Rey opened her mouth, about to answer him when a voice from behind Ben called out, “Is that Ben Solo I see?”

Ben stiffened instantly, he should’ve known she would be here. He forced a tight, fake but hopefully pleasant enough look on his face and turned around.

“Bazine,” he greeted her, his voice even. “It’s...nice to see you.” It was not nice to see her. Ben detested this woman. Each and every time he had the misfortune of running into her she was all over him. Ben knew what it was - Bazine was desperate to get in good with his mother and thought that if she could bed him it might somehow give her an advantage. Being a man who preferred women with more integrity, Ben was never interested. Unfortunately Bazine didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Oh it’s just lovely to see your face again. You’ve been so missed at your mother’s events,” she flashed him a smile that was probably meant to be seductive as she reached up to caress his bicep.

Ben wanted to recoil at her touch but didn’t want to cause a scene. He fought to keep his cool but his patience was wearing thin. That coupled with his anxiety already kicked into gear just from being at such an event meant that he was likely to lash out. Before he could open his mouth and say anything, he felt Rey reach for his hand and lace her fingers with his.

“Hi, we haven’t met yet. I’m Rey, Ben’s girlfriend. And you are?” she introduced herself politely with a fierce edge to her voice. Rey may have been smiling but her eyes were shooting daggers. _If looks could kill…_

Bazine’s hand instantly dropped from Ben’s shoulder and she stiffened her spine.

“Bazine Netal,” she replied to Rey before turning her gaze back to Ben. “I wasn’t aware you had a girlfriend, Ben.”

“Well, I—” He began but Rey cut him off.

“Ben’s doesn’t like to broadcast his personal life for everyone to know. He prefers to keep some details private. Unlike some people,” Rey said cooly, eyeing the flashy dress Bazine was wearing that left little to the imagination.

Bazine looked taken aback, clearly not having missed Rey’s subtle insult. She gave Rey one last glare before excusing herself and walking away.

Rey was chuckling, seeming very pleased with herself when Ben turned to face her.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, one eyebrow raised at her.

“That was me scaring off a woman who clearly doesn’t know how to recognize when a man is not interested in her,”

“No I know that but you—” he stuttered. “You introduced yourself as my girlfriend. To Bazine and my mother. Why?”

Rey stared at him, shocked. Ben could tell from the look on her face that she knew he wasn’t going to let her off the hook,

“I could see how uncomfortable Bazine was making you, Ben. I was just trying to help. And with you mother, I...I don’t know you were stumbling over your words and I guess I thought it would be easier to introduce me as your girlfriend rather than your best friend with benefits.” She paused, a look of uncertainty on her face before she continued. “You’re not...mad are you?”

_Confused as all hell? Yeah. And pretty sure that you were being jealous and possessive over me with Bazine. But definitely not mad._

“No, I’m not mad,” Ben sighed, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on the back of Rey’s hand that was still in his. “Now I believe I had asked you for a dance, Miss Johnson.”

Rey smiled at him and said, “Yes, I believe you did. Lead the way, Mr. Solo.”

Ben led Rey out to the dancefloor, their hands still joined. Once they reached the center he turned to face her and pulled her close. His hand that wasn’t in hers settled on the small of her back while free hand went to rest on his shoulder blade. The next song started and Ben pulled Rey close, looking deep into her eyes as they began to sway.

“You know...you can just say that you didn’t like Bazine flirting. That you were being jealous and possessive. Really, I don’t mind,” Ben teased.

Rey’s eyes averted down, breaking eye contact with him. “I — I wasn’t....being possessive or jealous. Why would I be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you like having me all to yourself?”

“Ben,” her voice was stern and pleading all at once. Like a warning. Like she didn’t want him to prod any further. Like she was afraid of the questions he was asking and what her answers might be. She was telling Ben not to push the matter without needing to actually say the words. So he stopped.

They continued to sway to the music. The song playing was an acoustic one. A love song. One Ben had heard before on the radio. As he looked into Rey’s eyes, he knew there was more in there than she wanted to let on. But he knew he would have to be patient if he was going to get her to recognize and admit to those feelings. But he couldn’t help himself. Looking into her eyes as they danced, he couldn’t help but start to sing softly along to the music.

“My heart’s against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck. I’m falling for your eyes but they don’t know me yet,” he sang sweetly. His voice was soft, smooth, and quiet enough that they were the only two that could hear.

Ben never sang. Not anymore. Not since his mother made him sing in choir as a kid. It wasn’t that he was bad at it, he could carry a tune just fine, he just didn’t enjoy it so much. But in that moment, singing to Rey felt natural. The words coming out of his mouth rang so true to his feelings for her. It was almost overwhelming.

But then he felt Rey’s hand snake up to the nape of his neck to pull his face down towards hers, and he let her. And when his lips brushed against hers, he didn’t hold back. Ben didn’t care that there was a room full of people, including his mother, that could see them. If he couldn’t tell Rey yet how he felt then dammit he was going to show her.

The hand that rested on Rey’s back pulled her in flush against him as he slid his tongue along the seam of her mouth before she granted it entrance. Their tongues met briefly, sliding along one another, before the song ended and Rey pulled back. Ben was suddenly very much aware of the fact that they were surrounded and he felt his cheeks heat up.

“You’re cute when you blush,” Rey smiled sweetly at him. Of course that comment only made him blush even more.

Ben was about to say something to dispute Rey’s statement when another voice interrupted.

“Wasn’t expecting to see the two of you here.”

Ben and Rey both turned and were greeted by the presence of their friend, Finn. He had this look on his face, like he was trying to figure something out about what he was looking at. Then it hit Ben….Finn must’ve seen them dancing and kissing. _Fuck._

**~          ~          ~**

Rey began to panic the second she heard Finn’s voice. She was busted for sure. There was no way Finn didn’t see her and Ben. There was no getting out of this.

_Shit, shit, shit. How in the fuck did I forget about Finn and Poe being here?_

How did she forget? She knew that Poe worked with Ben’s mother and she’d heard him and Finn talk about this event. She knew they would be here. Yet she was so caught up in the moment with Ben. So caught up in the sound of his voice as he sang to her. So caught up in their kiss...

Ben was the first to respond to Finn. “Well the senator is my mother so…”

“Yeah I know. It’s just Poe says you hardly ever show up to her events,” Finn replied.

“Well she more or less coerced me this time.”

“And then Ben asked me to come along as a sort of buffer,” Rey interjected.

“Yeah I hear from Poe she has that effect on people,” Finn then turned his gaze to focus on her. “Um, Rey, could I borrow you for a moment?”

“Yeah, sure,” she answered hesitantly.

It was then she realized that her and Ben had not stopped touching each other the whole time they were talking to Finn. His hand was had been on the small of her back while they danced had migrated to her hip and was gripping tightly. Her hand had moved from his neck to his shoulder blade and was almost fisting the fabric of his suit jacket in her hand.

She hated to walk away from Ben, to let go of him, to feel the loss of his touch. It was like they had each needed the other’s touch to anchor themselves, to fight off the panic that tended to be instinctual for both of them - especially Ben. That realization caught Rey off guard. But she had to shake that off to get through what was sure to be an….interesting conversation with Finn.

Once they were off in a less crowded, semi quiet spot in the ballroom Finn turned to look at Rey.

“I know it’s probably none of my business but you guys are my friends and I care about the both of you so I’m gonna ask this anyways: what’s going on between you and Ben?” Finn blurted.

_And there it is._

Rey thought maybe she could try to deny it. Maybe Finn didn’t see them kiss. _Only one way to find out._

“What? I— Finn there’s nothing going on,” she stammered.

“Oh really?” He raised one eyebrow at her. “Rey I saw you guys dancing. I saw— I saw you guys kiss.”

_Fuck. Well that settles that._

“Finn it’s...it’s not what it looks like…” Rey’s voice trailed off when she saw Poe approaching them.

“Hey chiquita,” he greeted Rey with a smile before planting a kiss on her cheek. “What’s not what it looks like?” He asked after draping his arm around Finn’s shoulders.

“Nothing,” she said.

“Her and Ben,” Finn said at the same time.

Poe looked at Rey and then back to Finn as he considered their answers before saying, “Oh that. You mean with the dancing and the kissing and the heated stares they’ve been giving each other all night?” He paused for Finn to nod his confirmation and Poe continued, “Finn, babe, it’s so obvious.”

“It is?” Both Finn and Rey said at the same time. Finn looked confused. Rey tried to maintain her best poker face but she knew it probably wasn’t working.

“Of course, cariño. They’re totally fucking,” Poe said plainly.

Finn’s eyebrows shot up in shock and Poe had a smug smirk on his face as they both looked at her, waiting for her to deny Poe’s claims. But she couldn’t. She knew she was busted and there was nothing she could do but fess up.

“Rey...really?” Finn asked.

“Um...yes,” she answered quietly.

“So you two are dating? You’re together?”

“Not exactly,” was all she said but she could tell from the look on Finn’s face that he needed more of an explanation than that. “We’re not dating it’s just...it’s just sex.”

“Damn, good for Ben,” Poe smirked.

“What? Poe! No! Don’t act like this is okay. This is not okay,” he then stepped closer to Rey, focusing solely on her. “Rey, this is you and Ben. You, miss I don’t believe in love, and Ben, mister literary hopeless romantic. Ben is not the fuck buddies type. Rey, how could you do this?”

That set Rey off. Rey had done nothing wrong and she would not stand for Finn treating her as if she had. She was an adult and so was Ben. If they wanted to have casual sex together they had every right to and it was no one else’s business.

“How could I do what Finn? You act like me and Ben having casual sex is such a big deal. Like I’ve done something bad. Like I’ve corrupted Ben somehow. This may come as a shock to you, lord knows it shocked the shit out of me too, but Ben asked me. Okay? It was his idea. What Ben and I do together is not your business,” her voice was raised, probably louder than it should be but she didn’t care. Rey was pissed.

“Rey, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to suggest you had done something wrong it’s just...you guys are both my friends and I don’t want to see either of you get hurt. I don’t want to see this blow up in your faces and fuck up your friendship okay? Just be careful okay?” He pleaded. Rey knew he meant what he was saying, his apology was genuine.

“Yes, Finn, I’ll be careful. I promise,” she sighed. Rey knew his concern was coming from a good place but she still couldn’t help but be a bit upset. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

She turned away from them and walked away. Rey needed to find Ben and tell him that she had to tell Poe and Finn about them. She wasn’t sure how he’d react but he needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's part 1 of the gala. Chapter 8 will be part 2 and I have already started writing it!! 
> 
> If you want to see a drawing that I did of Ben and Rey dancing in this chapter you can check that out [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/image/173947872282).
> 
> As always, a super huge thanks to my beta and wifey, [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092/pseuds/Kattylove6092) aka kattylovesreylo on tumblr. I couldn't have done any of this without you, my dear! <3
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	8. I'm A Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this has taken so long. If you follow me on tumblr then you know that I was going through some stuff over the past few weeks and I just didn't have it in me to write during all of that. But that has all settled now and things are good again so I look forward to writing more and hopefully getting back to a more regular updating schedule. 
> 
> Second, I would like to thank Kattylove6092 (kattylovesreylo on tumblr) for being a wonderful wifey and a great beta on chapters 1-7 of this fic! 
> 
> Alright guys, lets get on with this chapter shall we? Prepare for all the feels...

_ “And oh, I've known it for the longest time _

_ And all of my hopes, all of my words _

_ Are all over written on the signs _

_ When you're on my road walking me home _

_ Home, home, home, home _

_ See the flames inside my eyes _

_ It burns so bright I wanna feel your love, no _

_ Easy baby, maybe I'm a liar _

_ But for tonight I wanna fall in love _

_ Put your faith in my stomach” _

_ \- “I’m A Mess” by Ed Sheeran _

 

“Rey certainly seems like a great girl.”

Ben turned around to find his mother standing there with a knowing look on her face.

“Yeah, she is,” Ben agreed with a smile before taking a sip of his drink.

“I still have your grandmother’s ring, you know,” Leia stated casually, her mouth in a smirk and a glint in her eyes.

Ben nearly choked on his drink. They hadn’t talked about that ring in years. Not since his grandmother left it to him.

Ben and his grandmother, Padmé, had been very close when he was young. Sometimes it seemed as if she was the only one who understood him. The only one who didn’t have any expectations of him that he knew he couldn’t live up to. His mother always wanted him to follow in hers and his grandmother’s footsteps and go into politics. Ben’s father, Han, always had dreams of teaching Ben how to fix up cars so that he could one day take over Han’s auto repair shop and run it himself. 

Ben never had interest in either of those things. He found the world of politics to be boring, corrupt, and immoral overall. Fixing cars never gave Ben the slightest bit of joy. Not to mention the fact that Han wasn’t the most patient teacher when trying to show Ben how to do even the simplest of repairs. 

All Ben ever wanted to do was read and write books. He fell in love with reading at such a young age. From the moment his grandmother first read those words “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away” he was hooked. The fact that mere words on a page had the ability to transport him to a whole other world was incredible to him. 

Ben’s grandmother shared his love of literature. As a kid, Ben and Padmé would spend hours on end at the library picking out and reading new books together. It seemed every time he visited her she had a new book for him and he always read each one with such enthusiasm, eager to discuss the characters and the twists and turns of the plot with her. 

When he was a senior in high school and his grandmother took sick, Ben was at her side as much as possible. No longer able to visit the library herself, Ben started bringing her new books. When her condition took a turn for the worse and his grandmother had to be in the hospital, Ben came and visited her every day if possible. Even once she was no longer able to hold or read the books herself he’d still show up and read to her, often choosing from her favorites. 

In his grandmother’s last days, she gave Ben the ring Leia was referring to. It was her engagement ring that Ben’s late grandfather, Anakin, had given to her. She placed it in Ben’s hand and told him, once more, the story of how his grandfather had proposed. She then told him how she had once dreamed of passing the ring onto a granddaughter but then life chose to bless her with a “wonderful grandson” whom she loved more than she “ever thought possible.” So then her dream became to give it to Ben’s future wife on their wedding day but it seemed, once again, life had other plans. As she held Ben’s hand tightly in hers, she told him she wanted him to hold onto the ring for her, that he was to keep it safe until the day came that he found that special someone he wanted to give it to. A few days later, his grandmother passed away. Being just 18 years old at the time, Ben was nowhere near ready to give that ring to anyone so he turned it over to his mother, asking her to hold on to it for him until he was ready for it.

“Why do you bring up the ring?” Ben asked.

Leia gave him a sweet smile, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek. “My dear boy, I am your mother. I know you better than you know yourself and you, son, are in love with that girl.”

“I— what? Mom, no. I’m not— we’ve only been….it’s way too soon for that. That’s crazy,” Ben stuttered, running his fingers through his hair. He suddenly wished for something stronger to drink. Whiskey, vodka, anything that could take the edge off.

“Ben, love is crazy. It doesn’t always make sense and it isn’t always easy. But it’s written all over your face everytime you look at her. It’s the same way your father used to look at me. Whether you’re ready to admit it or not, you love that girl and you should tell her.”

_ No. No no no. I should not tell her. Telling her that is the last thing I should do. That would ruin everything. No. _

“It’s not that simple. I can’t— I can’t just tell her. It— It’s not that easy,” his voice was low, a hint of sadness in it. 

“You never got to meet your grandfather but he had this saying. A sort of mantra that he lived by. He would say ‘If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.’” Her face changed, a tinge of sorrow etched in her features. “Remembering those words is what gave me the courage to finally tell your father how I felt.”

“Mom…,” he started to speak but he didn’t know what more to say.

“I just don’t want to see you live your life with any more regret than you already feel. I know you still wish things had been different between you and your father when he died and…,” she kept speaking but Ben was no longer paying much attention.

_ Why did she have to bring up dad? _

The more his mom kept talking, the more Ben could feel his pulse quicken and his breathing pick up. His thoughts were firing off at rapid pace, one right after the other and each one more anxious than the last. 

“....Your dad loved you very much, Ben. And I know—”

“Mom, stop! Please,” he begged, shaking his head as he began to back away from his mother. He couldn’t hear anymore of this. He couldn’t hear anymore about how him and his dad were hardly speaking when he died. Ben would regret that he never got to mend things between them for the rest of his life. “I can’t— I can’t talk about dad right now. I— I need some air.”

If Leia said anything more before Ben walked away then he didn’t hear it. He was too far in his own head at that moment. His mind swimming with anxious thoughts of losing Rey. Thoughts of fucking things up between them so bad that she never spoke to him again. Thoughts of what if he never told her how he felt and living the rest of his life not knowing. Thoughts of what if he did tell her and it didn’t go well…

Ben wandered aimlessly out of the hotel ballroom. He didn’t know where he was going but he knew he couldn’t be in that room anymore. It was too much. Too much noise. Too many people. Too much of his mother bringing up things he would rather forget or go back in time and fix. 

He reached the staircase that went up to the main lobby and practically collapsed onto the bottom step. He was gasping for air at this point, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. He tried to breathe, tried fill his mind with anything but the anxious thoughts plaguing him but it was no use. His mind had already succumbed to the panic. All he could do now was ride it out.

**~          ~           ~**

Rey looked around the ballroom trying to locate Ben but she didn’t see him anywhere. She scanned the room over and over again. He wasn’t with his mother. She’d just left Finn and Poe so she knew he wasn’t with them. 

_ I bet he’s gone off somewhere to get away from the party and the crowd.  _

Rey exited the ballroom and looked around the lobby area outside it. There were plenty of chairs along the corridor for people to sit in but Ben was not in any of them. She began to walk towards the stairs to the main lobby and that’s when she saw him sitting on the lowest step.

“I thought I’d find you hiding from the party somewhere,” she said with a chuckle.

But Ben didn’t respond. The closer she got to him the more his entire figure came into focus. He was just staring straight ahead, barely even blinking, his gaze blank.

“Ben?...Ben, are you okay?”

Still no response from him. He hadn’t even yet acknowledged her presence. She was starting to get worried. Rey knew Ben had struggled with anxiety before and so had she. Back in college they had helped each other with it a lot. There were countless times that they’d helped each other stay calm when they felt a panic attack coming on. But she had never seen Ben in the midst of an attack before, nor him her. 

She crouched down in front of him as best she could in her dress so that they were at eye level with each other. Ben’s eyes were empty and blank. His breathing was rough and rapid, tears were beginning to spill out of his eyes to run down his cheeks. 

“Ben what’s wrong?......Ben?” 

Finally the dam broke and Ben let out a sob, his tears flowing more freely from his eyes. The sight broke Rey’s heart. To see her best friend, her Ben, in such a state killed her. All she wanted to do was fix whatever it was that had triggered him like this. She wanted to make it all better. She threw her arms around him, pulled him close and held him tight. 

“Oh Benny…”

“Rey,” he breathed, his voice so quiet that it was barely audible but his mouth was right at her ear so she heard it clearly.

Rey let out a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding in. He finally acknowledged her and was beginning to respond. That was a good sign but she didn’t dare let go of him yet.

“I’m here, Benny. I’m here,” she reassured him.

“Rey,” he breathed again.

Rey continued to hold Ben until his sobs and tears subsided. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed there like that. It could’ve been been a few minutes. It could’ve been an hour. She would’ve held him as long as he needed her to. Once he seemed to be coming down from his panic attack Rey pulled back slightly to look at him. She took his face in her hands and brushed his tears away with a swipe of her thumbs.

“What can I do, Ben? Tell me what I can do to help you. Do you need to leave? Do you want me to get you home?

He didn’t say anything. He simply nodded and Rey was okay with that. She was just thrilled he was responding at all. Getting someone in the midst of a panic attack to acknowledge those around them and respond in any way when spoken to was not an easy thing to do. Rey would know, she’d been in Ben’s position a few times before but that was a long time ago.

“Okay. Okay, let’s go.”

**~          ~          ~**

By the time they arrived at Ben’s apartment his breathing had finally slowed down but he was still being uncharacteristically quiet. He was still working through whatever it was that had triggered his attack. She closed the door behind them and followed him into his room where he sat down on his bed and she sat down beside him.

“Do you want me to stay? Or I can go if you want. What do you need, Ben?”

His eyes met hers for the first time since leaving the hotel and he simply held her gaze for a few moments. Rey could see that the Ben she knew was coming back, slowly but surely. His stare was no longer empty and blank. He reached up and caressed her cheek with one hand as he leaned in, closed his eyes, and brushed his lips against hers. 

Rey wanted to give in to the feel of his lips against hers but she couldn’t. Not now. Not when Ben was just coming down from a panic attack. She couldn’t take advantage of him like that. She reached up, took his face in her hands and gently pushed him away. 

“Ben, I—”

The second she pushed him away she wanted to take it back. Rey could see Ben start to shut down again as he turned away from her and averted his gaze to the floor.

“Just go then,” he said. His voice was low, monotone, and emotionless. 

_ Fuck. What did I just do? _

“What?”

“Just go, Rey!” Ben’s voice was raised now but the words come out with a croak. “You won’t….you can’t….I need….”

That did it. There was no way in hell Rey was leaving now. Ben could yell at her and tell her to leave until he was blue in the face. She knew that being alone was the last thing he needed in that moment.

“What do you need, Ben?”

“GO!”

Rey put her hands on his shoulders, trying to turn his upper body and make him look at her. She wanted to yell back at him, her instincts told her to, but she knew that would only make things worse. So she shoved away the part of her that wanted to get mad and scream and she fought to keep her calm so she could be what Ben needed her to be in that moment.

“No, Ben. I’m not leaving. What do you need?”  she asked once more. 

“You, Rey!” he said, finally looking her in the eyes again. “I need you!”

**~          ~          ~**

The words slipped out of Ben’s mouth before he could stop them. Part of him wanted to add on more, continue to tell her that he needed her to leave but he couldn’t. He wanted her to stay. He needed her to stay.

“What?” Rey gasped. As Ben gazed into her eyes he could see shock and something else….some other emotion that he would’ve loved to put a name to but his brain was far too jumbled to try to do that then. All he could think about right then was that he needed her. 

_ No going back now. _

“I need….I need you, Rey….I need you.” The last time he said it his voice was barely a whisper.

The next thing Ben knew, Rey was wrapping her arms around his neck, her hands playing with his hair as she rested her forehead against his. 

“You have me. I’m here, Benny. I’m here,” she whispered to him. 

After hearing that Ben couldn’t hold back anymore, not with her lips so close to his. He crashed his mouth against Rey’s, running his tongue along the seam of her lips. This time she responded without hesitation and opened her mouth, allowing his tongue entrance. Ben’s hands found their way into her hair, tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. The whimpers coming out of Rey sent all the blood in Ben’s body rushing straight to his cock but he ignored it for the time being. Ben wanted to cherish every moment of this, to savour it. He needed to take this slow. He needed to show her feelings to him in the only way he could in that moment. 

They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, lavishing each other with long, languid kisses. Their tongues sliding against each other and their hands tangled up in each other’s hair until they were each breathless. 

Their eyes locked on each other once they finally pulled apart to catch a breath. Rey held Ben’s gaze for a moment like she was searching for something - perhaps for confirmation that Ben really wanted this right now. If Ben was being honest with himself, he didn’t just want this, he needed it. He needed to feel close to her, to see the look in her eyes when he was inside her, to know that even for a few fleeting moments that they were on the same page and feeling the same things. So he matched her gaze and held it before leaning in to give her one more gentle graze of his lips against hers, as if he was pleading with her to allow him those moments. 

When he pulled back, Rey gave him a soft smile before whispering, “Help me out of this dress?”

Ben didn’t speak, he simply nodded his response. Rey shifted, turning her back to him to give him access to the zipper on her dress. He reached up with trembling fingers, fumbling with the zipper pull for a few seconds before he finally willed his fingers to stop shaking and comply.

Inch by inch he slowly pulled the zipper down, revealing more and more of her beautiful, sun kissed skin to him. After the dress was fully unzipped, he ran his hands along the smooth, warm skin of her back. Once his hands reached her shoulders they pushed the dress away and down her arms. His mouth went dry as more of Rey was revealed to him. He couldn’t help but lean forward and press open mouthed kisses to her exposed skin as the dress slid away. 

When her dress was half off and pooled around her waist, Rey stood up and remained with her back faced towards him. She pushed the rest of the dress over her hips and let it drop to the floor. She had chosen to forgo wearing a bra for the evening so when she turned around Ben was met with the breathtaking sight of Rey standing there in nothing but a pair of barely there, black lace panties and high heels.

Ben drank in the sight before him like he was trying to commit it to memory. The way she bit her lip, the blush spreading across her freckled cheek, the way her nipples pebbled and hardened the longer his eyes were on her, the smooth slope of her belly, the trimmed dark patch of hair between her legs, her toned legs that loved to wrap around him and keep him close whenever his mouth was on her or he was inside her….he wanted to make sure he never forgot any of it. At least then if this thing between them came to an end he would always have this memory. 

Rey stepped towards him, her hips swaying slightly, before she climbed into his lap and straddled him, kicking her shoes off in the process. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his hands roamed the skin on her back before settling in one spot to pull her closer so that she was flush against him. 

Suddenly Ben was painfully aware of how dressed he still was as his hard cock strained against his pants, aching to feel the warmth and wetness that awaited it between Rey’s legs.

As if she had been reading his thoughts, Rey began to help Ben remove his clothes piece by piece. His jacket, his tie, and his button down shirt were all discarded to his bedroom floor in minutes. Before he knew it she was laying back on his bed. Her hair was splayed across his pillows as he hovered over her. He leaned down to capture one of her pert nipples in his mouth, licking and sucking it. Ben couldn’t get enough of the sounds coming out of her as she arched her back off his bed, as if she wanted him to consume her completely. 

“Ben, please,” Rey moaned.

And with that Ben got the remainder of his clothes off as fast as he could while Rey pushed her panties down and tossed them aside. He slanted his mouth against hers, slipping his tongue into her mouth to slide against hers. He had his throbbing cock lined up at her entrance and was ready to push into her warm cunt when he realized he’d forgotten something.

“Shit, a condom,” Ben cursed.

“It’s okay, Ben. I— I’m on the pill,” she whispered, bringing her hand up to brush his hair away from his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I’ll put one on. I just— I got caught up in the moment and I wasn’t thinking and—”

Rey grabbed his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her, while she said, “Ben, it’s okay. I’m on the pill and I’m clean and….I want to feel you….just you….if that’s okay.”

Ben was sure his eyebrows must’ve shot up so high they met his hairline. He was completely caught off guard. The fact that Rey trusted him so much...he couldn’t put into words right then what that meant to him. But he needed to be know that she was sure about this first. 

“Rey, I can— I can put one on. It’s not a big deal.”

“Ben, I want this. I’m sure,” she stated with complete clarity as she looked deep into his eyes. 

“If you’re sure….And I’m clean too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

And with that knowledge that for even just this moment they wanted the same thing, Ben slowly slid into Rey. There was nothing in between them this time. It was just Ben and Rey. 

“Fuck, Rey,” Ben gasped once he was all the way inside her. The feeling of her warm, tight pussy surrounding his bare dick was more incredible than he ever could have imagined. 

He began to move in and out of her slowly, taking his time. There was a part of him that was afraid that every time with Rey might be the last. He knew his luck and how the world worked, if he didn’t fuck this up himself it was likely that something else would happen to fuck it up for him at some point. 

He hadn’t let himself fully confront that notion until earlier that day and that is why he was taking his time. He had to savour this moment - to worship and cherish Rey as she deserved if even just this once. To pour out all his feelings in the only way he was able to at this moment. 

It didn’t take long for either of them to reach their peaks and go over the edge. Rey came first, her pussy walls clamping down on Ben’s cock as her fingertips dug into his back, calling out his name. Ben’s orgasm followed shortly after and he came with her name on his lips and a realization on the forefront of his mind. In that moment, after seeing that look of pure bliss on Rey’s face and spilling himself inside her, he knew that he was in love. Ben was hopelessly, unconditionally in love with his best friend….he also knew that he could never tell her because it would send her running and ruin everything. Ben Solo was in love and it was likely that it would end with him heartbroken….

**~          ~          ~**

A little bit later after they had come down from their release, Ben and Rey were still laying naked in his bed together. They were each laying on their sides and facing each other. Ben was playing with a few strands of Rey’s hair when she finally broke the silence.

“Do you want to talk about it? About whatever caused your breakdown,” she said gently. 

“Umm, well…” Ben hesitated.

“You don’t have to answer that. Just...if you want to talk about it you can...with me.”

Ben could hear the rejection in Rey’s voice. Like she was hurt at his hesitation to open up to her. He couldn’t stand it.

“My mom kept talking about my dad. It’s sort of a sore spot for me,” He began, his voice low. “He never understood my love for literature or my dream to work in publishing and maybe someday write my own book.”

Ben went on to tell Rey about his father’s plan for him with the auto shop before telling her the part of the story that he wished he could forget. 

“After I left for college my dad and I barely spoke. We got into this huge, blow out fight the night before I left. I didn’t even hug him goodbye or told him that I loved him before driving off. That was the last time I saw my father and I didn’t even tell him I loved him,” he paused, needing to take a deep breath to try and calm himself before continuing. “Three months later he had a heart attack and died. I never got to say goodbye to him. Never got to even try to make amends with him. The last time I spoke to my father we were fighting and screaming at each other. I’ll always regret that. Always. My mom talking about him today just brings up all of that regret that I try to shove deep down and forget about and sometimes like today it just hits worse than other days.”

Ben didn’t even realize he’d was crying until Rey reached up and wiped his tears away. 

Now came the part that Ben always hated when he talked about his dad’s death. The pity. The look on people’s face accompanied with the “I’m so sorry” and then them treating him like he was fragile and could break. Yeah, he lost his dad and it fucking sucked but that didn’t mean he needed anyone’s pity. 

But Rey wasn’t like most people. So Ben shouldn’t have been surprised when she didn’t do any of those things. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised when Rey simply gave him a soft smile before saying, “thank you for telling me.”

Somehow Ben found it in him to return her smile as he reached up to take one of her hands from his face to place a gentle kiss there. 

His eyes wandered down her body and landed on the delicate flower tattoo etched in the skin under her right breast. For a few moments he let his fingertips gently trace along the lines of the tattoo.

“Why daffodils?” He asked softly, his fingertips still tracing.

“After all these years you’re still wondering about that?” Rey chuckled somewhat nervously and Ben’s fingers stopped their movements. 

He knew this was a sensitive subject for Rey. He deduced by now that the tattoo’s meaning had ties to Rey’s past and that was something she didn’t like to elaborate on. He had held himself back from pushing on the topic in the past but he couldn’t help himself now. He wanted to know everything there was to know about her. He’d just bared himself to her and he wanted her to do the same.

“After all these years you still can’t tell me?” Ben questioned as gently as possible, trying not to let her hear the hurt in his voice. 

“I’ve told you that I grew up in the foster system right?” She paused for Ben to hum in response before she continued. “That is true but it’s not the whole story. I had parents before that. I lived with them….I loved them….” her voice trailed off to almost a whisper.

Ben took her hands in his, holding them to his chest, close to his heart as his eyes remained locked on her.

“What happened?”

Rey took a deep breath before continuing, “When I was six my mom took off. She left me and my dad. I don’t really remember much except that apparently being a mother was never a part of her plan. So then it was just me and my dad for a little while until one day he dropped me off at school and I never saw him again.”

“Oh Rey, I…”

“I remember my teacher sitting with me for hours while they called the police and tried to track down either of my parents. I found out later the police went to my house and my dad had taken everything. The house was just empty and he was nowhere to be found. That was the first night I spent in foster care. It wasn’t always horrible. Some of the families I lived with were nice enough I guess. But I was a difficult child. I never let any of them in or let myself bond with them because I always knew it was a matter of time before I got sent off somewhere else.”

“So where does the tattoo fit into all of this?” Ben asked, one eyebrow raised. 

“I got the tattoo the day I aged out of the foster system. I had been working a part time job all throughout high school and I saved every penny I ever made and I decided I wanted something to remind me of all that I had been through. I chose daffodils because there was this garden in the park down the street from my house that had them and I loved them. When the weather was nice I would sit on a bench in that garden and I would do my homework there. I looked up the meaning behind them once and found out that they symbolize rebirth and new beginnings and—” she hesitated, biting her lip. 

“And?”

She considered her words for a few seconds before finishing her sentence.

“....And it just fit.”

Ben knew there was something she wasn’t saying but he also knew better than to pry. Rey had already been so open with him, more so than she’d been in the entire six years he’d known her. He didn’t want to push it.

“I should probably go,” Rey said after a few moments.

“You don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to.”  _ Stay, please. I know we have that rule but please, stay. _

“I shouldn’t. Don’t want to break our rules, remember?” She said, rolling away from him on the bed to grab her dress and begin to pull it back on. After getting her dress zipped most of the way up she looked over her shoulder at Ben who was already moving to help her with the zipper. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”  _ Probably but I still want you here. _

“Okay.”

Rey slipped her feet back into her high heels and took a moment in Ben’s bathroom to tame her hair before walking towards his door.

Ben knew he should just stay on his bed and let her leave but his body wouldn’t let him. At the sound of her heels approaching the front door he bolted off his bed in just a pair of boxers. She was just reaching for the door when he put his hand on her shoulder to turn her around. Rey opened her mouth to speak but Ben cut her off with his lips on hers. He didn’t let the kiss linger for too long. Just enough to leave them both a little bit breathless.

“See you later.”  _ I wish you would stay. _

Rey gave him a slight smile and said, “Later.”

And then she was out the door.

Ben knew he was being greedy. For Rey to open up to him like she had was a big thing for her and it meant the world to him. It meant that maybe she was finally starting to trust him and trust herself with him. That maybe he wasn’t alone in his feelings after all. Maybe there was a scenario in which this thing with him and Rey didn’t end with him heartbroken. Maybe there was a way it ended with Ben getting everything he ever wanted. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo......that was a rollercoaster of emotions huh?
> 
> I have had so much of this chapter planned for such a long time and I cannot believe that it is here! It was a tough chapter to write at times and hits close to home in places, particularly Ben's anxiety, but I'm really proud of how it turned out and I hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Huge thanks to my new beta, [reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	9. Burnin' Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the song for this chapter is a Jonas Brothers song...don't judge me lol.
> 
> I wanted to have this chapter out to you guys sooner but I was dealing with writers block on it for a bit there. We are getting close to the point where shit's gonna hit the fan *devious smile* but if you guys stick with me, I promise I have a happy ending waiting for you on the other side of it all!
> 
> Anyways, I thought we could use a change of pace after the emotional rollercoaster that chapter 8 was so here comes some fluff!

_ “I'm hot, you're cold _

_ You go around like you know _

_ Who I am, but you don't _

_ You've got me on my toes _

_ I'm slipping into the lava _

_ And I'm trying keep from going under _

_ Baby, who turned the temperature hotter? _

_ Cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for you baby” _

_ \- “Burnin’ Up” by The Jonas Brothers _

 

Rey was dying...at least she thought she was. Not having AC in the middle of the hot Naboo summer certainly felt like death. 

Why didn’t Rey have AC? Oh right, because she insisted upon living in an apartment with charm and character and those two things often came in older buildings that have outdated HVAC systems. Outdated HVAC systems have a knack for breaking down in the most inconvenient of times. 

This time was no different. It was a stifling 100 degrees outside and not only did Rey not have AC but she also had an apartment that was flooded with lots of direct sunlight when the sun began to set in the afternoon - something Rey had loved about the apartment when she first signed the lease but was now cursing it.

Waking up that morning sweaty as all hell with her damp bed sheets sticking to her was one of the rudest awakenings Rey had ever experienced. She literally peeled her covers off of her before getting up to check the temperature on her thermostat. According to it the temperature inside Rey’s apartment was in the 80s…. _ fuck this shit. _

Rey sprinted back to her room to grab her cellphone and call the building’s super. There was no answer but the voicemail message stated that he was aware of the problem and it would be fixed within the next few days.

“Okay, okay. It’s only a few days without AC. I can do this. I’ve done it before. Spent plenty of summers without AC growing up. I can do this,” Rey chanted to herself. 

She walked into her bathroom and just glancing at her reflection in the mirror as she removed her clothes so that she could take a cold shower. Rey was completely drenched in sweat. Her tan skin was glistening and it wasn’t the attractive kind of glisten. No, it was the gross kind that made her look like she had just run a 10k marathon. The hair that had fallen out of her 3 buns overnight was wet and sticking to her face. 

Rey was reaching for the knob to turn on the cold water in her shower when she heard a knock at her door. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she grabbed her bathrobe off the back of her bathroom door and exited to her living room.

The knocking persisted and Rey yelled out, “yeah, yeah. I’m coming!” 

She reached her front door and looked through the peephole to see none other than Ben standing on the other side of her door. She unlocked the door and opened it to let him in.

“Good morning sunshine!” Ben chirped at her sarcastically with a smile. 

“It is not a good morning,” Rey grumbled, wiping her sweat soaked hair off her forehead.

“Well of course it isn’t. It’s like a sauna in here. You should turn up your AC, Rey.”

“I can’t turn up my AC because it’s broken because I chose to live in an old apartment building with an HVAC system that likes to go out at the worst possible time!” She whined, stomping her foot and clenching her fists. When she saw the corners of Ben’s mouth twitch upwards she felt the rage rise up in her and she was ready to snap. “Don’t you dare give me that smirk Benjamin Solo! It is one hundred something fucking degrees outside and I have no AC! I am miserable as fuck! So if you’re going to smirk at my misery then you can take your ass back to your cosy, fancy ass fucking bachelor pad!”

Ben’s smile only grew wider as he fought back a laugh. 

“Ben, I swear…”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “It’s just...you’re cute stomping your foot like that. Just adorable.”

“Oh so you think I’m cute when I’m angry?” she glared.

“Well, you’re cute all the time but even more so when you’re angry like this,” he smiled sweetly before trying to pull her in for a hug.

Rey pushed his arms away and took a few steps back, “Ben, no. No hugs right now. It’s hot and I’m gross and sweaty.”

“Right, sorry. So when will your AC be fixed?” He asked, sitting down on her couch and making himself comfortable.

“My super’s voicemail said it would be a few days,” Rey replied as she walked to her fridge to get a cold bottle of water.

Suddenly Ben’s face became etched with concern, his brow furrowed and his mouth set in a frown.

“Please tell me you’re going to go stay with Finn and Poe while it gets fixed.”

“Um...no…”

Ben’s eyebrows shot up at her response. “Rey, you cannot stay here right now! It’s too hot! You could get sick!”

“Ben, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’ll be fine.”

“Damn right you’ll be fine cause you’re not staying here. You can come stay with me.”

_ No no no. Not gonna happen. Never. _

**~          ~          ~**

“So you can stay in my room and I’ll sleep on the pullout in my office,” Ben stated as they walked through the door of his apartment. 

It took him a half hour of arguing with her and Rey almost collapsing from the heat before he convinced her to stay with him for the next few days. Rey was such a stubborn little thing. Ben knew she hated having people do things for her but dammit sometimes she needed to learn when to swallow her pride and ask for help. Besides, he would do anything for her. 

“I can sleep on the pullout, Ben. It’s fine,” she protested.

“No you will not. My mother raised me right. You are my guest and you will not sleep on that god awful pullout. I insist,” he said placing her duffle bag on his bed and turning to face her. Her hands were on her hips as she stared at him, a look of defiance on her face.

“Fine, then you can sleep in your bed and I’ll sleep on the couch in your living room,” she argued. 

“I’ll just wait til you fall asleep and then I’ll carry you to my bed myself,” Ben stated very matter-of-factly. If she was going to continue to be this stubborn then two could play at that game. 

“You wouldn’t dare.”

**~          ~          ~**

He would. He did. The next morning Rey woke up in Ben’s bed despite having fallen asleep on his couch. 

_ That little shit. _

Realistically, Rey knew she should be grateful to Ben for letting her stay here and letting her sleep in his bed while he slept on a pullout in his office. And she was grateful, even if she didn’t always know how to show it. She quickly dressed, throwing on an oversized t-shirt that was long enough to cover her ass and a pair of black capri leggings before throwing her hair up into her usual 3 bun style. She exited his room to find the rest of the apartment was still quiet and empty. Ben was still sleeping.

_ Perfect. _

Rey padded over to his fridge to see what was there that she could make decent food out of. She mentally checked off a few breakfast necessities - milk, butter and eggs - before moving to his pantry to check for a few other things. Rey was pleased to discover Ben had all the necessary ingredients to make a batch of pancakes along with some eggs and toast. Rey knew she wasn’t the best cook but she knew how to make some things and was able to follow a simple recipe. Cooking him breakfast would be her way of saying thank you.

Within a few minutes she had the pancake batter all mixed up and the skillet heated up and ready to go on the stove. The first pancake was rough, as the first ones always were, but the rest turned out okay. Rey wasn’t sure how Ben liked to eat his eggs so she went with scrambled figuring it was a safe bet and that he’d eat them even if it wasn’t his preference. 

She had Ben’s tv turned on a music video channel and was swaying her hips to the music as she cooked. Rey was just finishing up the scrambled eggs when she heard the sound of a chair being pulled out.

Upon turning around she was met with the sight of Ben with his hair still disheveled from sleep. He was wearing a well worn in white t-shirt with a torn hem and a pair of thin cotton pajama pants. He had a smirk on his face and looked like he was trying to stifle a laugh. 

“How long have you been watching me?” Rey asked, one eyebrow raised at Ben.

“Long enough,” he answered as his smirk grew.

Rey glared at him and picked up a small kitchen towel to throw at him. That only made Ben laugh even more. 

“You really want to laugh at the woman that cooked you breakfast?”

“Maybe,” Ben said, cocking an eyebrow. “How do I know that food is even edible? I’ve never seen you cook before.”

After teasing each other a few minutes longer, Rey sat next to Ben at his kitchen island and the two of them sat and ate their breakfast side by side. The whole thing felt so normal, so domestic, so right. Rey felt like she could get used to this - cooking for Ben every once and awhile and sharing meals with him. The thought should’ve scared her, normally it would have, but in this moment Rey felt no fear. All she felt was a warm, fuzzy feeling building in her chest and she didn’t know what to call it but she liked it. 

After they finished their food, Ben insisted upon doing the dishes. “You cooked so I’ll clean” is what he had said. Rey remained seated at the island while Ben cleaned, chatting with him about everything and nothing at the same time. 

**~          ~          ~**

Later that evening, the two of them were sitting on opposite ends of his couch both of them with their laptops open. Rey was working on her current assignment for the magazine and Ben was proofreading a manuscript. Every now and then they would each glance at the tv or each other - or Sox would come trotting up to one of them, begging for attention. 

A little bit later the two of them were getting ready for Bed. Ben was brushing his teeth in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and Rey was laying on his bed reading something on her phone. As Ben was rinsing his mouth, he felt a twinge in his neck when he tilted his head back to swoosh the water around his mouth. His body wasn’t as tolerant of the pullout’s four inch mattress as it was back in college. 

Ben hadn’t even realized he was rubbing the back of his neck until he heard Rey ask if he was okay. 

“Oh, yeah. Just not used to that pullout anymore. I’ll be fine, Rey. Goodnight,” he answered before turning to leave the room, trying to hide his pain from her. 

He was halfway out of his bedroom when he heard Rey call out “Ben just come sleep in your damn bed.” 

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, searching her eyes for any hint of uncertainty but they were steady and sure. 

“Yes,” she assured him. 

Ben slowly moved towards his bed, almost as if he was afraid he would spook her if he moved too fast. Once he sat down on the bed Rey began to stand up and leave the room.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he questioned, one eyebrow raised at her. 

“Umm….the pullout?”

_ Nope. Unacceptable.  _

Ben lurched forward, his hands wrapping around Rey’s hips and he pulled her back down onto the bed with him. Once they hit the bed, one of his arms wrapped around her tightly while the other grabbed at the blankets. 

“BEN!” she squealed. 

“Only one of us gets hurt by the pullout,” he practically growled in her ear as he threw the covers over them. 

“Ben, really it’s okay. I can sleep on the pullout. I’ve probably slept on worse before,” she said as she squirmed against him, causing her perfect ass to rub right against his crotch. Ben willed his cock not to respond but the blood in his body was already rushing in that direction making him half hard. Hoping that she wouldn’t notice his body’s response, Ben reluctantly let Rey go and she huffed before rolling over to face him.

“Well that was then, this is now,” he said softly as he looked deep in her eyes. “You didn’t have me then.”

Ben watched as the defiant expression on Rey’s face melted away, her eyes softening along with it. “Ben, I…you’re too good…” her voice trailed off. 

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that, sweetheart.”

Without warning Rey leaned over and and kissed Ben softly before pulling back, hesitation filling her eyes. 

“We should, uh, probably get some sleep,” she said, biting her lip as she laid back on her pillow. 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

And with that Rey shut her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep. Ben laid there beside her, marveling over how peaceful she looked as she slept. His arms ached to reach out to her, to encircle her and pull her close to him, to keep her safe. To be so close to her in the same bed but not touching her was killing him. At the same time though, he was recognizing the small victory that it was to have her sleeping in the same bed as him at all. Just a few days prior Rey had been so firm to stick to her rule after comforting him through his panic attack. Today, she was letting him give her a temporary place to stay and sleeping beside him in the same bed. Slowly she was letting her walls down and letting him in and that was not lost on Ben. He only hoped he was worming his way inside her heart, just as she had his. 

Before falling into his own sleep, he thought back to when Rey said she’d probably slept on worse than his pullout. Hearing Rey say those words broke his heart. Ben knew her life growing up had been rough, but he hated the notion of her sleeping in less than ideal conditions. He knew his mind was probably imagining way worse than she actually had dealt with but still...Ben wanted to give Rey the world. He’d give her the whole damn galaxy if he could. The fact that she had ever been denied such love and proper care killed him. Ben loved Rey so much and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make her happy and keep her safe.

**~          ~          ~**

The next morning Rey woke up with her back flush against a hard chest and a pair of strong, warm arms wrapped tightly around her torso. Her initial, gut reaction was to fight her way out of the bed but then she remembered where she was and who she was in bed with.

_ Ben...It’s just Ben…mmm he’s so warm… _

The longer Rey laid there, the more she started to like the feeling of Ben’s arms around her, holding her tight. It was the safest she’d felt in a long time. In that moment, she thought she could get used to this and that thought sent a pang of anxiety through her. Being there, in bed with Ben was the closest Rey had ever felt to home since she was a little girl...since before her parents abandoned her. The logical side of her knew Ben would never leave her but the rest of her was terrified of the prospect of losing the one person she cared the most about. 

If her life had taught her anything, it was that people were temporary. Everyone either left her or gave her a reason to leave at some point. Sure, Finn had stuck around for the past six years too but he had Poe now and didn’t need Rey as much as he used to. What would happen when Ben finally met the woman for him and fell in love? He would slowly drift away and Rey would be left alone again. 

Rey looked over her shoulder to gaze at Ben as he slept before she carefully removed his arms from around her and got out of his bed. Just as she was standing up, Ben began to stir. 

“Goodmorning,” Ben said groggily, his eyes squinting as they adjusted to the light.

“Morning,” she replied with a tight, nervous smile. 

“You been up for long?” Ben asked as he sat up.

“Uh, no just a few minutes actually. I’m gonna go take a shower.” 

Rey was about to walk into Ben’s bathroom when she noticed her phone screen was lit up with a notification. She picked up her phone and saw that she had a missed call from her super and a voicemail. Pressing play, she brought her phone up to her ear to listen to the message - the AC in her building was fixed, meaning she could return home to her apartment. 

She should’ve felt relief at the news she could go home but instead she felt a heaviness in her chest that ached. She didn’t want to go back, but she couldn’t stay. After all, Ben and her were just friends and her staying any longer would only further complicate things. 

“Everything okay?” Ben asked, the tone of his voice suggesting he could guess what Rey was about to say.

“Uh yeah, great actually,” she began, trying to hide the conflict in her voice. “The AC in my apartment is fixed. I can go home.”

“Oh, well, that is great,” Ben said, not looking at Rey. 

“Yeah, so I guess I’ll just get my things and head home.”

“You can still shower first and then I can drive you home,” he offered. 

“That’s okay. Don’t want to shower and get clean before having to go back out into the gross heat. I’ll just shower once I get home.”

And with that the two of them got dressed and Rey got her things together, packing them back up into her duffle bag. When she reached the front door of Ben’s apartment she set her bag down and turned to face Ben.

“Thank you, Ben, for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it,” she said as she pulled him into a hug. Ben returned her embrace and held her tight, like he didn’t want to let her go. She then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling away, picking up her bag, and heading out the door. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Rey....when will you realize?...*sigh*...She is getting there though! I mean, she finally broke that rule she's been clinging onto for so long. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta,[reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	10. Kindly Calm Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, chapter 10 is finally here! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fluff in the last chapter cause we're now returning to our regularly scheduled angst with a side of smut. ;)

_“When my world gets loud,_

_could you make it quiet down?_

_When my head, it pounds,_

_could you turn down all the sound?_

_If I lay in pain, by my side would you stay?_

_If I need you now, would you kindly calm me down?”_

_\- “Kindly Calm Me Down” by Meghan Trainor_

 

The next few days went by in a surreal blur for Rey. Between the lack of AC and having to stay with Ben for a few days and then everything that was happening at work Rey’s mind was beginning to explode.

She was trying to keep her cool about it all. Yes the magazine was facing budget cuts which meant people were being laid off but after all, she had just been awarded her first coverline with the Panic! at the Disco concert review and that went very well. Her boss, Amilyn, actually gave Rey quite high praise for her writing. Rey was sure her job was safe.

So when she was called into Amilyn’s office late that Tuesday afternoon, she walked in with her head high and the assumption that she was about to be reassured that her place at the magazine was safe.

“So Rey, I’m sure you’ve heard about the budget cuts the magazine is facing,” Amilyn began taking a seat at the chair across from where Rey was sat.

“Yes, I have,” Rey said, trying to keep herself from fidgeting in her seat.

“Well, unfortunately due the lack of sufficient funds it means we have to let go of some of our staffers,” she paused to consider her words before continuing. “Rey, I’m so sorry but we’re going to have to let you go.”

_Wait, what?_

“I’m sorry I don’t believe I heard you right. L-let me go?” Rey stuttered. “I’m fired?”

It was like the rug was being pulled out from under her feet. Rey was finally feeling like her life was coming together. She had great friends, a job that she loved, a decent apartment, and Ben….Well, she could admit that with Ben she didn’t really know where they stood - hell, she didn’t even quite know where she stood with that situation - but she liked it and she didn’t want it to have to stop. Getting a new job could mean moving and well...she was finally starting to feel at home for the first time in a long time. To have to give that up and start all over again would kill her.

“Rey, I’m so sorry but with you being a junior staffer that’s not been designated to any one area of focus yet….we have to think in the magazine’s best interest which means saving money where we can. We’re letting all junior staffers go effective the end of this week with the pay period ending.”

Amilyn truly did sound sorry and Rey knew she wasn’t the type to bullshit but dammit this hurt.

“I just— I don’t understand. Just a few weeks ago you gave me my first coverline and now this?”

“Rey, it has nothing to do with your abilities as a writer. It’s a matter of money.”

Rey felt foolish. Of course she knew it had nothing to do with her abilities. Amilyn Holdo was a tough but fair editor and she never gave false praise. But Rey had never been fired before this and her emotions were all over the place.

“I understand.”

“You’re a very talented writer Rey with a wonderful career ahead of you. I’m afraid I just have no other option here. But I know the editor of the Correllian Press up in Coruscant, I believe he has an opening that I think you would be perfect for. I would be more than happy to pass your resume along and put in a good word for you,” Amilyn offered sincerely.

Coruscant was halfway across the country from where she was but it was the only lead Rey had on a job so she felt turning down Amilyn’s offer would be foolish. She thanked Holdo for the opportunity of working for her for this long and excused herself from the office.

As she walked out of Amilyn’s office, Rey felt like she was living out a nightmare. She had thought she was on her way to a promotion in the near future. To be fired instead had completely blindsided her.

By the time Rey got home that day she couldn’t hardly remember anything after leaving Amilyn’s office. It was all a blur. She dropped her things onto her living room couch and went to her room where she changed into an oversized t-shirt before crawling right into bed. She just wanted to go to sleep and hope things would be better when she woke up the next morning even though logically she knew life didn’t work that way. At least not for her it didn’t.

In her last few conscious moments before drifting off to sleep all Rey could think about was Ben. The thought of potentially having to leave him hurt like a knife to her chest. He’d been there for her for the past six years and she didn’t want to know what life without him there would look like. Honestly, she just wanted him right there with her in her bed in that moment. His arms around her, holding her tight, making her feel safe and at home again. It was all she wanted and that scared her.

She’d never wanted anyone like this. Rey had never needed anyone else to comfort her. She’d gotten plenty used to calming herself down and getting herself through the rough patches all on her own. But Ben...Ben made it so much easier. Ben brought her this sense of calm she’d never experienced before. Now that she had, she craved it on such a primal level.

**~           ~          ~**

A week had gone by since Rey had stayed with Ben and he’d hardly heard from her at all. They’d exchanged texts a few times but he hadn’t actually seen her at all in days and that was not normal. He was beginning to worry she was avoiding him. That maybe he’d crossed a line or something but the voice in the back of his mind was telling him that wasn’t the case. Rey wouldn’t just avoid him would she? Certainly they were past that.

So Saturday night Ben found himself back at the bar to grab a drink when he ran into Finn and Poe.

“Hey Benny boy!” Poe called out.

“Poe,” he said less than enthusiastically. “Don’t call me that.” Rey was the only person he let call him Benny. Also his mother but he only liked it when Rey said it.

“How are things with you and Rey?” Poe asked with a wink as the two of them sat at the bar next to Ben.

“Yeah how is she doing with everything?” Finn added, a hint of concern and worry in his voice and face.

“What are you talking about?” Ben inquired before taking a drink of his beer. Was something wrong with Rey? Was she sick? Why didn’t Ben know what Finn was talking about?

“You know, the job search and all. Last I talked to her that job in Coruscant was the only lead she had. She find anything else?” Finn explained.

_Whoa whoa whoa. A job in Coruscant? What?!_

Finn must’ve seen the confusion on Ben’s face because the next thing he said was, “you know she lost her job right?”

_Oh no...Rey…_

Ben didn’t even bother answering Finn’s last question. Within seconds he was off his barstool and headed out the door towards Rey’s apartment.

**~          ~          ~**

When he got to her apartment door he noticed a pile of mail on her welcome mat. It was as if she hadn’t even opened the door all day to check.

_Shit._

He knocked on the door, probably a little harder than was necessary but this was Rey and Ben’s fighting his anxious mind to keep from imagining the worst possible scenarios. _What if she hasn’t even gotten out of bed all day?...Maybe she’s fine but hasn’t checked for her mail yet today...Or what if she’s had a major anxiety break down and no one was there to help her through it?..._

“Rey? Hey, it’s Ben. Are you there?” He called out.

There was no answer.

“Rey, sweetheart, please. If you’re there, answer the door.”

Still no answer.

_Fuck…Wait, Ben. Don’t freak out yet. Maybe she’s not home._

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Rey’s number. If he could hear her cellphone ring from inside then he knew she was home. Rey never lost her cellphone. A few seconds passed and then Ben heard the faint sound of Rey’s ringtone coming from inside of her apartment for a few seconds and then it stopped abruptly before it cycled through the whole tone. Rey had denied the call. She was home.

“Rey, baby, if you don’t answer the door I’m gonna break the fucking thing down I swear—”

And then the door opened and Rey was standing there in front of him. There were dark circles around her eyes and her hair was falling out of those three buns she always kept it in. She was wearing an old oversized t-shirt from college and judging from how wrinkled it was, Ben guessed that she had been wearing and sleeping in that shirt for at least the past 2 days.

“What are you doing here, Ben?” Rey asked plainly, still standing in the doorway and not letting Ben inside.There wasn’t an ounce of emotion in her voice as if she was completely numb to everything that was going on.

“I ran into Finn and Poe at the bar...why didn’t you tell me you lost your job?”

“He told you?” she sounded shocked and slightly hurt. _Finally some emotion._

“He thought I already knew. He thought you would’ve told me and I thought you would’ve too. You know, given that we’re best friends and all.” _And that we’ve been sleeping together for the past few months._

Ben was trying to keep his calm and not get upset with Rey given that she was the one who had just lost her job. Selfish as it may seem though, Ben was sort of hurt that she hadn’t told him.

“Look, if all you’ve come here to do is attack me for not telling you every single detail about my life then you should just leave, Ben, cause I’m not in the mood for this shit,” she snapped. If looks could kill, Ben would probably would’ve died right then and there because Rey was shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

“Dammit, Rey! Everytime I think you’re finally going to let me help you and actually care for you, you pull shit like this and try to shut me out,” he paused for a second to reign his emotions back in. He didn’t want to raise his voice at her. That was the last thing she needed in that moment. “Please, just talk to me. Let me be here for you.”

Rey let out an exasperated sigh before she walked away from the door, leaving it open to allow Ben inside. He walked in, shutting the door behind him. Rey sat down on her couch and for a moment they just stared at each other in silence before she finally spoke.

“I lost my job. The magazine was facing budget cuts and they let all junior staffers go….I just….I thought I was doing so well there. Especially after the concert review....I thought I was headed toward a promotion and now….”

At this point Rey could hardly hold her composure. Tears were running down her face and she was trembling and Ben’s heart nearly shattered into pieces at the sight. To see his Rey so broken down killed him. He wanted to wipe away every ounce of pain she was feeling in that moment.

He rushed to her side, pulling her into his arms and tucking her head under his chin to rest against his chest. He rubbed his hand along her back and just held her tight against him until her sobs ceased.

Once she seemed to have calmed they both pulled back slightly and Rey looked up at him with red rimmed, still glassy eyes.

“Will you….will you stay with me tonight?” She asked tentatively, biting her lip. “I just...I don’t want to be alone.”

Every single bone in Ben’s body was screaming at him to stay and comfort her no matter what but there was a part of his brain that needed reassurance that she knew what she was asking. After all, she was asking him to break that very rule she had held onto for so long.

“Are you sure? What, um— What about the, uh—” Ben stuttered.

“The rule? Fuck the rule. I don’t care about that anymore….I just want you here...,” she paused, still worrying her lip. “So will you? Will you stay with me? Please?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

**~          ~          ~**

A little while later, Ben found himself stripped down to his boxers in Rey’s bed with Rey tucked into his side. One arm was wrapped around her, his hand toying with the ends of her hair as she lightly traced shapes on his bare chest with her fingertips.

“So Finn mentioned you had one job offer so far?” Ben asked softly, somewhat afraid to bring the topic back up now that she had calmed down.

“Yeah...well, uh, not quite an offer yet but I did have a phone interview. The job is at the Correllian Press....It’s a publication in Coruscant that’s been steadily gaining more readers and they’re looking to hire another staffer. It’s a better position and better pay than my job here...but it’s just so far away…”

“But Rey, hasn’t Coruscant always been your dream? You can’t just write off this opportunity if you get offered the job.”

“But...but what about you? And Finn and Poe? I can’t just leave you guys.”

“We’ll be just fine….I mean, we’ll miss you like hell. It will suck to not have you here all the time but, Rey, if this is what you want then you should go for it, sweetheart. Don’t let Finn, or Poe, or me, or anyone hold you back.”

As much as it hurt Ben to say anything that could encourage her to leave town he did mean every single word. He wanted Rey to have everything she ever wanted and more. Even if that meant him having to let her go. He would do anything to make her happy - even watch her walk away from him.

“I won’t...I promise I’ll really think about it if I get offered the job.” She took a moment to consider Ben’s face. She just gazed up at him with a look of pure adoration on her face for a moment before speaking again. “You— you’re too good to me. You know that?”

“You’ve said that before but I’m gonna have to disagree with you,” Ben grinned at her.

It wasn’t long before Rey fell asleep curled up against Ben and he was left alone with his thoughts. The thought of Rey moving away and of potentially losing her before he could tell her how he felt absolutely terrified him...even more than the thought of telling her how he felt did. He knew in this moment he was going to have to come clean about his feelings for her. And he had an idea of how he was going to do it.

**~           ~          ~**

For the second time ever, Rey woke up in bed with Ben and his arms around her. However, there were a few things that were different this time. For one, they were in Rey’s bed this time and not Ben’s. Second, the last time she fell asleep in the same bed as him she had woken up with her back pressed to his front, this time she was still tucked tightly into his side.

This time she had a great view of Ben’s face peaceful in sleep. He really was very beautiful. His porcelain skin, his raven black hair that framed his face in soft waves, his soft and plump lips...it really wasn’t fair how beautiful he was. Rey couldn’t resist the urge to raise herself up just enough to place a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. Or at least, it was supposed to be a chaste kiss but Ben startled her when he instantly and enthusiastically responded to her lips against his.

Within seconds Ben had pulled Rey over so she was now straddling him as they kissed with great fervor. Rey felt the corner of her lips start to turn up as his hands began to move up her abdomen under her shirt. His large hands covered her tits and gave them both a gentle squeeze. Rey couldn’t help but moan and grind down on his hardening cock when his fingers pinched and rolled her nipples.

With every kiss, every tug on her nipples, and every time she ground down onto Ben, the wetness between her legs grew. Soon her panties were soaked through and her pussy was aching to be full.

One of Ben’s hands strayed from her nipples to slip underneath the band of her panties and graze her sensitive nub and Rey was powerless to stop the needy whimper from leaving her mouth.

“Ben, please,” she whined.

“Mm, yes sweetheart?” He hummed against her skin as he kissed and nipped the skin on her neck.

“I need you. _Now_ ,” she said as she cupped his face to return his lips to hers. “Please, Ben,” she begged, grinding against him even harder to emphasize her point.

Ben withdrew his hand from her panties to push his boxers down, freeing his hard dick to stand at attention, ready for Rey’s cunt to take it in.

“Shirt. Off. Now,” Ben demanded as he pushed her panties aside and sunk a finger into her, letting out a groan of his own.

Rey never used to like people telling her what to do in bed but there was something about the way Ben’s voice would get. The way it would go even lower and get full of desire when they were together like this that made Rey unable to anything but oblige him. Within seconds Rey’s shirt was gone and Ben was withdrawing his finger from her. He gave his finger a good suck to clean Rey’s wetness from it before hooking his fingers under the band of her panties.

Ben gave her a mischievous smirk before asking, “You aren’t very attached to these are you?”

Pretty sure she knew what he was getting at, Rey shook her head and answered, “just rip them off of me, Ben.”

“Good answer,” he grinned before doing as she said, ridding her of the fabric that separated his cock from her cunt.

Rey wasted no time, rising up as Ben lined his tip up to her entrance. She slowly sunk down onto him inch by inch until he was sheathed to the hilt inside her. As much as she had grown to love letting Ben take the lead, she relished the opportunity to ride him like this. Not only did she love being able to go at her own place and make him lose his mind, but she also loved the feeling of fullness this position gave her. The way his cock stretched her open and went oh so deep….the feeling was intoxicating….addictive almost.

Rey placed her hands on Ben’s chest to brace herself as she began to move, slowly rising up and down on Ben’s hardness. As she moved, she watched his face and how his eyes would roll to the back of his head as he tilted it back each time she slid back down his length.

Grunts and moans from both of them filled Rey’s bedroom as she slowly rode Ben. It wasn’t long before she could feel her walls starting to tighten around him. Evidently, Ben felt it too.

“Come on baby, cum for me,” he encouraged as he began to circle her clit with his fingers.

The added stimulation spurred Rey on and she sped up her pace. She was so close to falling over the edge when Ben suddenly sat up so that their torsos were flush against one another. His free arm snaked around to hold Rey closer to him as her arms wrapped around his neck. This new position gave Ben’s mouth easy access to her tits, which he took advantage of. As soon as his lips were wrapped around one of her nipples he gave it a good suck, eliciting a moan from Rey.

_“Ben, yes!”_

Seconds later Rey was cumming around his cock, her walls squeezing it tight as she coated him in her cum. Ben’s release wasn’t far behind, him shooting his spend into her as she rode out the aftershocks of her own orgasm.

They stayed there like that for a while, holding each other chest to chest, skin to skin, Ben still inside of her. Rey didn’t want to let Ben go at all. She wanted to hold onto him and this moment as long as possible. This moment was as close to perfect as Rey had ever experienced and she didn’t want to let it fade away.

That’s the thing about moments though, they don’t last - that’s why they’re called moments. But the best ones, like this one, could live on forever in someone’s memory. That’s why Rey was working hard to memorize every last tiny detail about this moment. So that no matter what happened with this job in Coruscant, she would always have this perfect memory to hold on to.

**~          ~          ~**

A little while later, Ben and Rey had finally separated long enough to shower, dress and head to Kanata’s for coffee and a bagel.

“So what are your plans for the rest of the day? You free?” Ben asked. He had the beginnings of a plan in his mind...a plan to show Rey how much she meant to him. But he was going to have to keep as many of the details to himself as possible and he couldn’t let Rey know he was up to something.

“Um, I have to run some errands, grocery shop and then I should be free,” Rey answered simply.

_Perfect._ That would give him plenty of time to iron out his plan and make all the necessary preparations.

“Okay, well, I have a few errands to run myself. How bout we get together tonight? We could go to the club? It’s been awhile,” he suggested, trying to keep from giving anything away in his voice.

“Sure, sounds good. I’ll meet you at your place around 8 and we can share a cab from there since you’re closer.”

“Sounds great,” Ben said as he got out of his seat at their booth. “See you then,” he added with a smile before leaving the coffee shop.

As soon as Ben was out of the coffee shop, he reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.. Unfortunately enough for him, this plan required a bit of assistance from his mother. He let out a sigh before dialing the number and pressing send as he kept walking.

It only took a few rings for Leia to answer. “Hello, Ben. What has you calling your dear old mother on this Sunday morning?”

“Hi, mom. Are you at home today? I need to come by the house...I need to get grandmother’s ring from you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers are great right?! *mischievous grin* I promise I'll try to have the next chapter to you guys ASAP so I don't leave you all hanging for too long. 
> 
> On another note, I seriously can't believe that this story is 10 chapters long now and still going. I never would've imagined it'd go this far! Your support and feedback mean the world to me! Thank you guys so much! <3
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta,[reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Your kudos and comments are very much appreciated!


	11. Remembering Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting this update in sooner than I expected!! This chapter....this chapter is one of the first things I came up with when I started planning out the plot for this story and I can't believe it's here!
> 
> Also please note - this chapter is a bit different from all of the others. Instead of having one quote of lyrics from the song for the chapter you’re going to see lyrics from this chapter’s song throughout the chapter - they will be bolded, and italicized. This chapter is where I finally get to use the song that inspired this fic, “Remembering Sunday” by All Time Low. 
> 
> So sit down, buckle up, and prepare yourselves...shit’s about to hit the fan.

**_“She’s been running through my dreams_ **

**_And it’s driving me crazy, it seems_ **

**_I’m gonna ask her to marry me”_ **

Ben sat there on his bed, simply staring at the box on his nightstand. Seconds ticked by on the clocked as he tried to wrap his head around what he was about to do.

Meeting his mother to get the ring went as he expected. Leia pressed and pressed him with questions.

_ “So you’re proposing to Rey? I thought you said it was too soon? Why the change of heart?”  _

All valid questions, Ben supposed, not that he was in any mood to answer them in detail. All he told Leia was that it was complicated and he would explain more later. It wasn’t a lie. Things between him and Rey were complicated as all fuck. That’s why he was doing this. The ring was a means to hopefully uncomplicate things and solidify what they meant to each other...or it could ruin everything. 

Ben knew this was a risky move. A very risky move. But what other choice did he have? He couldn’t just let Rey leave and go to Coruscant without knowing how he felt about her. Maybe the ring was too much, hell it probably was, Ben knew that. But there was something inside him, a voice telling him that it was now or never and he did not want there to be any question or doubt in Rey’s mind regarding Ben’s feelings for her. He knew what he wanted with absolute certainty. Ben Solo was hopelessly in love with Rey and wanted to spend a lifetime with her. He just hoped to God, Buddha, the flying spaghetti monster or whatever higher power there may be that she felt the same for him. 

More and more lately he’d been seeing signs of Rey’s increasing affection towards him. She’d opened up to him more than ever before that night after the gala when she told him about her tattoo and about her past. She’d been the one to ask him to stay with her just the night before. Little by little, Rey had been allowing Ben to be there for her more than ever before. Hell she’d even agreed to stay with him while her AC got fixed...then she allowed him to comfort her over losing her job. And the sex...the sex was different now. It was just as good as it had always been, if not better, but there was something there that wasn’t there in the beginning. This inexplicable feeling or connection between them...a feeling that told Ben that this, him and Rey together, was right. With her was right where he was supposed to be. She had to feel that too, right?

His train of thought was cut off by Sox jumping on the bed, startling him. Glancing at the clock, Ben saw that it was now 7:55. Ben had spent 20 minutes lost in his thoughts and now Rey would be showing up at his apartment any minute. Moisture began to build up on Ben’s palms as he stood up and grabbed the small, off white, leather box from his nightstand. 

He opened the box once more to examine its contents. Upon opening, a smaller square that housed his grandmother’s ring rose up at an angle, proudly presenting the ring. The ring itself was nestled in the box just enough to hold it in place while still showcasing all of the intricate details. A brilliant, round cut diamond sat proudly on the band surrounded by a square halo containing a cluster of much smaller diamonds at each corner and scrolly detail as well. The band was platinum, featuring the same scrolly detail found on the halo as well 3 diamonds lined up next to each other starting at the halo. The ring was truly gorgeous even still, his grandmother had spared no expense over the span of her life to keep the ring in top notch condition, knowing that one day she wanted to pass it along to a child or grandchild.

Ben heard the door to his apartment open followed by the sound of heels clacking against his floors. Rey was here. 

_ Deep breath, Ben. You can do this.  _

“Ben?” Rey’s voice echoed from his living room.

“Be right there,” he called out to her.

He snapped the ring box shut and dropped in it his pocket, taking one final deep breath to brace himself before walking out to greet Rey. With each step he took, his heart began to race faster and the box in his pocket began to feel heavier.

**_“Even though she doesn’t believe in love,_ **

**_He’s determined to call her bluff_ **

**_Who could deny these butterflies?_ **

**_They’re filling his gut”_ **

As always, the sight of Rey took his breath away. He was too nervous and his mind was too preoccupied to truly notice what she was wearing but damn did she look gorgeous. Then again, Rey could’ve shown up wearing a trash bag and he’d still say she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Because to him, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

“You ready to go?” She asked with a smile.

“Um, not quite. There’s, uh— can we talk for a minute?” He stuttered, running one hand through his hair while the other fidgeted at his side, fighting the urge to reach into his pocket.

“Sure,” she replied, her eyes examining him with care. “You seem tense. Is everything okay?”

Was everything okay? A seemingly simple enough question to ask but not so simple to answer. 

_ I don’t know. You’re my best friend and I’m in love with you but you don’t know that yet and now you might be moving halfway across the country. Could anyone possibly be okay in this situation? _

“We’re best friends right? We can tell each other anything?” He asked, choosing to ignore Rey’s inquiry altogether rather than try to come up with a coherent answer. 

“Yes, of course,” Rey answered immediately, concern flashing across her face. “What’s going on, Ben?”

He took a deep breath. “I’ve just— I’ve been going over this in my head all day trying to figure out how to say this,” he paused, hoping that maybe a rush of confidence or something would hit and help him get through what he needed to say. “Shit— the thing is, uh…”

“Ben, hey,” she spoke softly, walking towards him, brushing a wild hair out of his face. “You can tell me anything,” she said with a gentle, slight smile. Her words were meant to be reassuring but they did nothing to help Ben. The reality was that Rey didn’t have the slightest clue what Ben was about to say or do...if she did, she may not have even showed up…

_ This is stupid. This is so stupid. I’m going to fuck this up….But she has to know how I feel. I have to tell her….Fuck, Ben, speak dammit! _

“This thing— what we’re doing— just sex, no strings attached...I don’t think I can do it anymore,” he blurted.

Rey’s hand dropped from his hair and she took a step back. 

“Oh,” she said quietly, a hint of what Ben thought was disappointment in her voice. “Why?” she questioned, her eyes cast towards the floor.

“Because it doesn’t feel like just sex anymore, Rey...at least not for me…”

Her eyes shot back up to him. Worry was etched in her features as her hands trembled at her side. 

By this point Ben’s heart was pounding so fast in his chest that he could practically hear his own heartbeat in the thick silence that filled the room. 

“I don’t— I— what?” Rey stumbled over her words, breaking the silence.

“Rey, you must feel it too. You can’t tell me you don’t feel what I feel,” he began, speaking more clearly than he had since she walked in, despite the fact that he almost felt like he could throw up from the nervousness. “When we’re together...it feels right.  _ We  _ feel right. You and I, we fit together perfectly. Like we were made for each other. I know you’ve felt that too.”

“Ben, I…” she began to speak but words failed her as a look of panic crept across her face. 

“I love you, Rey,” he declared, the words spilling out of his mouth. “I am in love with you. I have been for awhile — maybe even since we met, I don’t know. But I am,” Ben paused, a rush of adrenaline coming over him giving him the confidence to speak clearly and calmly from his heart. “I am madly in love with you, Rey, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Rey’s eyes went wide as Ben began to drop down onto one knee, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out the little box. 

“Ben, please,” she whispered, desperately pleading with him for something but he was too caught up in his own declarations and the ring box that he was now holding out in front of him.

“Marry me, Rey,” he said with a hopeful smile as he opened the box and presented the ring to her. 

The moment that followed seemed to stretch on for a lifetime. Ben watched as Rey’s stunned gaze took in the sight before her. Ben, on one knee, holding out a ring, having just asked her to marry him. 

In some ways this was crazy. He and Rey weren’t even dating and he just proposed to her. It was insane, he knew that - that was why he didn’t tell anyone about his plan, except his mother. He knew if he told anyone - Finn, Poe, or Hux - that they’d try to talk him out of it...and he didn’t want that because as crazy as it was, asking Rey to marry him felt right. Ben was in love with her and always would be. There was no one else he could imagine at his side for the rest of his life.

Still though...maybe he should’ve given his friends the opportunity to talk him out of this...oh well. It was too late for him to be concerning himself with such thoughts anymore. 

The hopeful smile faded from Ben’s face as he kneeled before her, watching as the full weight of the past few moments sunk in for her and her face went white. 

“I— I can’t do this,” Rey faltered, shaking her head as she walked backwards towards Ben’s front door. “I can’t be here. I have to go. I—” 

She turned around, opened the door, and she was gone.

**~          ~          ~**

**_“Leaning now into the breeze_ **

**_Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees_ **

**_They had breakfast together_ **

**_But two eggs don't last_ **

**_Like the feeling of what he needs”_ **

A number of days past and Ben hadn’t heard from Rey at all. Not that he’d been trying to reach her that much. He was far too embarrassed, far too unsure of what he could possibly even say to fix things between them. Not too mention he wasn’t sure there was any way to fix things. Ben had seriously misjudged Rey’s feelings for him and made an ass of himself by declaring his love and proposing when he knew how Rey felt about those things.

_ She told you herself that she didn’t believe in love, you idiot. But still you had to go and fuck things up. _

It was a wonder Ben could even manage to be the least bit productive at work, reading manuscript after manuscript to try and keep his mind busy. At a certain point though, he wasn’t even actually reading them anymore, he was just mindless scanning over the words on the pages without really taking in the meaning. 

One night he finally found himself at the club, wanting to drown his sorrows in a couple glasses of whiskey. Of course, in exchange for the seat at the bar, Hux made him fess up about what had Ben in such a down mood. 

So Ben recounted the whole sordid tale to his friend. The more he talked, the more he wanted to drink. And the more Ben drank, the more he missed Rey.

It was cruel, really. The one thing he was counting on to make all of this hurt less was having the opposite effect. It was beginning to seem like the only thing that would ease Ben’s pain was Rey herself…

Part of Ben wished he could take back it back. Telling Rey he loved her, proposing...pretty much that entire Sunday. But the bigger part of him knew that even if he hadn’t said anything then there was still a good chance he was going to lose Rey anyways if she moved to Coruscant.

Sure, they’d probably still talk but it wouldn’t be the same. He wouldn’t get to see that face that he saw in his dreams at night, that smile that took his breath away. He wouldn’t get to hear her laugh that made his world stop, or the little sounds and moans she makes it when they were in bed together…

One way or another his world as he knew it was likely to change. At least this way he could go to sleep at night knowing he tried. He told her how he felt and she rejected him. At least he had that closure of knowing. Now, it was up to him to try and move on...but how could he move on when he knew there would never be another woman in the world that would make him feel what he felt for Rey. She was simply one of a kind and irreplaceable and he had lost her. 

**~           ~          ~**

Ben woke up the next morning somehow feeling even more miserable than the night before. His head was pounding and his stomach was in knots. All of his muscles protested as he moved to sit up in bed. He attempted to open his eyes but the sunlight flooding his bedroom was too much for him to manage more than a squint. 

The majority of the night before was a blur to Ben. He didn’t remember much after his fourth drink. How he even got home and in bed was a mystery to him. 

He forced himself up and out of his bed, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. He slowly but surely made his way to his kitchen for some aspirin and water. He found a note on his kitchen counter in an unfamiliar handwriting. 

The note read: “In case you don’t remember when you wake up, Phas and I brought you home. Don’t worry about your open tab, we can settle that next time I see you. - Hux.  PS - call Rey. You know you want to and the two of you need to talk this shit out.”

Later that day, Ben decided to take Hux’s advice...well sort of. Ben found himself outside of Rey’s apartment wanting to knock on the door but anxious for what was waiting for him on the other side. Would she even open it? Or would she simply yell from inside her apartment that she didn’t want to see him?

As he was standing there weighing his options, to knock or not to knock, Ben couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time he was here. Rey asking him to stay with her, falling asleep with her in his arms, waking up next to her and making love, and then having breakfast together….Ben could see himself doing all of those things with Rey every night and morning for the rest of his life...and damn did he want that life with her. 

In that moment, every memory of the two of them together came flooding to the surface of Ben’s mind. He couldn’t let things end this way….he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

He knocked twice on her door and waited a moment….No response. So he knocked again.

“Rey, please, open the door. We need to talk about this,” he pleaded. Still nothing.

He had just began to turn around and leave and accept defeat when he heard footsteps and the sound of a door unlocking.

Ben looked back at Rey’s apartment door just as it was swinging open….but it wasn’t Rey standing there waiting for him.

“Hey Ben,” Poe said somberly with a knowing look on his face. 

“What are you doing here?” Ben asked plainly.

“Babe, who is it?” Finn called out from somewhere in Rey’s apartment that was out of Ben’s sight.

“It’s Ben, baby,” he called out over his shoulder before looking back to Ben stepping aside to open the door further. “You should come in.”

Ben gave a slight nod and stepped through the doorway. As he entered Rey’s apartment his eyes scanned around, taking in the scene before him. The walls were bare, kitchen cabinets open and half empty, boxes stacked along the walls with labels dictating the contents of each box written on the sides of them.

Finn entered the room carrying a box from Rey’s bedroom that was labeled “clothes.” Why was Finn boxing up Rey’s things?

“What’s going on? Where’s Rey?” Ben asked, watching Finn set down the box on top of another with wary eyes. 

“Rey’s gone,” Finn answered with a sigh.

_ What?! _

“Gone? What do you mean she’s gone? Where did she go?” Ben demanded answers, reaching a level of fear, desperation and confusion that he hadn’t felt since his father’s death. 

“They offered her that job in Coruscant and she took it. She left a few days ago so that she could find a place and try to get settled. The company is putting her in a hotel until she finds an apartment.”

“So she just left? Without even telling me or saying goodbye? I….fuck I told her I loved her and I— I asked her to marry me! I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she does this?” Ben didn’t know if he was more hurt or angry in that moment. His head was swimming with a vast range of emotions and he was struggling to latch on to any one of them. It was like being on an awful roller coaster.

“Yeah one question,” Poe chimed in. “What the fuck were you thinking proposing to her?”

_ What the fuck was I thinking? _

“Poe!” Finn exclaimed.

“What?” Poe shrugged.

“Show a little more sensitivity would you, babe?” Finn chastised.

“No, no,” Ben interrupted. “He’s right. I don’t even know what I was thinking….I— I fell in love with the girl who doesn’t believe in love. And then I told her and asked her to marry me. Just saying it outloud...fuck I’m an idiot.”

Finn came over to stand in front of Ben and grabbed his shoulders.

“Listen to me Ben,” Finn began. “Yes, proposing to Rey may not have been the best move. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think you were that far off about her feelings for you. I think Rey loves you, I just don’t know that she realizes it yet.”

“If she loves me then why did she leave? Why didn’t she at least say goodbye?” Ben protested, shrugging out of Finn’s grasp.

“Are you kidding me, Ben?” Finn scoffed. “She’s scared. Her own parents didn’t love her enough to stick around. It’s a whole self fulfilling prophecy thing with her. She’s so scared of falling in love and ending up hurt and alone so she tries to keep everyone at arm’s length so that she doesn’t get hurt if they leave but by doing so she ends up alone anyways. But you got under her skin. You made her feel things she convinced herself and everyone else that she doesn’t believe in but all of that is a load of crap.”

If Ben thought about it, what Finn said made sense. Fuck, he had pushed too far hadn’t he? 

“So what am I supposed to do, Finn?”

“Talk to her, Ben. The reality is you both fucked up. The only way you’ll be able to fix it is to talk to each other,” Finn said plainly.

“And if she doesn’t answer my calls?”

“Then you keep trying until she actually tells you to fuck off. But I don’t think she will do that. Rey loves you, Ben.”

**~           ~          ~**

On his way home from talking to Finn, Ben pulled out his phone and dialed Rey’s number. As expected, she didn’t answer. So he waited for the beep signaling for him to leave his voicemail and then he poured his heart out to her.

“Rey, it’s me,” he began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Look, I really think we need to talk about everything. I should’ve never proposed to you like that— that was a stupid move and I should’ve known it would scare you off...But you need to know that I meant everything I said. I love you, Rey. I love you with every fiber of my being and if you would just let me, I know I could make you happy and show you that love doesn’t always have to end in someone getting hurt...I could go on but I would rather say all of this stuff to you and not your voicemail box. So just...please call me, Rey. Please just give us a chance to at least talk this out…Or tell me to fuck off and that you never want to hear from me again...but don’t just leave without at least saying goodbye to me. With all the years that we’ve been best friends, I at least deserve a goodbye…I hope to talk to you soon. But if not, good luck with the new job. I’m sure you’ll be great, sweetheart….Bye.”

**~          ~          ~**

**_“I'm not coming back_ **

**_I've done something so terrible_ **

**_I'm terrified to speak_ **

**_But you'd expect that from me”_ **

Hundreds of miles away, Rey had just signed a lease on her new apartment in Coruscant when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took a look at the screen and felt her heart sink when she saw the name on caller ID.

_ Benny.... _

Every bone in her body was screaming at her to answer his call but she couldn’t do it. She’d hurt him enough already. He was probably better off now if she simply disappeared, letting him move on and live his life without her. So she forced herself to decline his call and shoved her phone back in her pocket.

She looked around her new apartment once more. This was her new home. This was her life now. She had a new job and a new apartment in the city she’d always dreamed about. So why wasn’t she happier? Why did she feel so sad and alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all still with me?
> 
> I know this suupppeerr angsty but I promise you guys - I really think this is necessary for Rey and her character development. Just trust me you guys, we will get through this angst together and there will be a HEA waiting for us on the other side of it! Just bear with me for a few chapters of angst lol.
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta,[reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	12. The Only Exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for this? I don't know if you are ;)

_ “Maybe I know, somewhere _

_ Deep in my soul, that love never lasts _

_ And we've got to find other ways _

_ To make it alone, but keep a straight face _

_ And I've always lived like this _

_ Keeping a comfortable distance _

_ And up until now, I had sworn to myself _

_ That I'm content with loneliness _

_ Because none of it was ever worth the risk _

_ Well, you are the only exception” _

_ \- “The Only Exception” by Paramore _

 

It had been well over a week since Rey left Naboo. After leaving Ben’s apartment she went back home and she hardly slept that night. 

Ben  _ proposed.  _ He said he loved her and asked her to marry him and Rey, she— she just couldn’t be in that apartment anymore. A rush of emotions came flooding to the surface in that moment and she needed to get away from Ben so she could think straight.

During her walk back to her apartment she made her attempt to sort through the plethora of emotions that were washing over her one after the other. Fear, panic, confusion, guilt, and another one that scared her so much she didn’t dare try to name it or acknowledge it; she just pushed it down as much as she could. 

Ben was her best friend and there was nothing she could say that wouldn’t completely destroy everything they had because she couldn’t say yes. Even though there was a part of her that wanted to. Some part of her that knew that she and Ben were right together. There was no denying it. She felt what Ben felt, the way they just seemed to fit together so perfectly. The way the transition from just friends to more was seamless. The way the first time they were together it was like, why hadn’t they done this sooner? She felt all of it and because of that there was this voice inside her that screamed at her to say yes to Ben’s proposal bringing her to guilt.

She’d given him every indication that what she felt for him went deeper than friendship. The way she opened up to him, the way she asked him to stay with her that night, the way she let him worship her body so tenderly and intimately...she’d led him on.

There was so much she wanted to say to Ben in that moment after he proposed but she could hardly bring herself to speak at all. So she left without looking back. Ben deserved better than that and she knew it. He deserved an explanation from her. Hell, he deserved a better friend than her. He deserved to love someone better than her. He didn’t deserve her at all. And Rey didn’t deserve him. 

She had entered this friends with benefits situation with Ben knowing that it was a bad idea and that one of them was likely to get hurt and she knew it would be Ben. At the time,  Rey was completely oblivious to Ben’s feelings but still… she’d broken her best friends heart and had probably lost him forever.

That following Monday, Rey ended up receiving a call from Mr. Calrissian at the Correllian Press. He offered her the job in Coruscant. Her first instinct was to turn it down. The few people she actually cared about were in Naboo; her life was here, Ben was here... _ Ben.  _ The idea of facing Ben after walking out was too much...she couldn’t bear it. She’d hurt him so much and there was nothing she could do to fix it. So she accepted the job offer and began packing her things. 

Initially she only took with her the necessities. A week’s worth of clothes, her laptop, and necessary toiletries. Once she had all that packed she locked up her apartment, got in a cab and headed to Finn and Poe’s.

Finn was none too happy with her when she explained what was going on.

**~          ~          ~**

_ “I can’t stay here in Naboo any longer. I can’t — I can’t face Ben,” she choked out the words. _

_ “Rey, you can’t just leave. You owe Ben an explanation. You owe him a goodbye. You can’t just run away when things get hard. Life doesn’t work that way,” Finn tried to reason with her.  _

_ “I’m not running away, Finn! Yes, Ben said he loved me and I ran from him. But this is not me running. I lost my job here, I got a new one in Coruscant. I’m moving for work. I am not running.” _

_ “That’s bullshit and you know it, Rey,” Finn snapped. “Ben loves you and there’s not a damn thing you can say to convince me that you don’t love him too. I know it and you know it and it scares the shit out of you. That’s why you’re running. That’s why you’re taking this job. You’re scared.” _

_ She was scared. She was scared shitless, not that she’d dare admit to him.  _

_ “I can’t stay here, Finn,” she pleaded, desperate for Finn to understand. “I need to go.” _

_ “Fine,” he sighed, resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to change her mind before walking over to pull Rey into a hug. “You call me when your plane lands so I know you got there safe.” _

_ “I will,” she said into the crook of his neck before pulling away. “Tell Poe I said goodbye. And...take care of Ben, okay? Please...I...he’s gonna need a friend and I can’t...so take care of him. Make sure he’s okay. He deserves to be happy.” _

**~          ~         ~**

That was days ago and still Rey hadn’t been able to shake the ache that had settled in the pit of her stomach. An ache that made her second guess every decision she’d ever made since her and Ben started sleeping together. 

She sat there in her hotel room, surrounded by unfamiliar items in an even more unfamiliar city. Everything felt so foreign to her. The room, the furniture, the city...even her own emotions were foreign to her. Never once had she ached for another human being the way she ached for Ben. Not even after her parents left her and she cried herself to sleep every night just wishing her mommy and daddy would come get her from whatever cold, unaffectionate foster family she had landed in at the time. This ache for Ben to be near was new to her and she didn’t know how to cope with it. 

Rey spent an indiscernible amount of time replaying the events of the past few months over and over again. She was searching her memory, trying to find any sign of Ben’s feelings for her that she missed or shrugged off. The findings of this mental search made Rey sick to her stomach. 

It had been there. Ben’s feelings for her had always been there. The way he looked at her like he was absolutely captivated and entranced that night at the club when Rey made that first move. The way he begged her to just talk to him every time she avoided him. The way he seemed to need to touch her anytime she was near. The way he held her close and sang to her as they danced at his mother’s gala. The dejected look on his face when she left him alone after getting him through that panic attack all because she was still clinging to her rules...her stupid fucking rules. The way he wouldn’t take no for an answer and insisted on letting her stay with him while her AC was out, and how he selflessly gave up his own bed for her. It was always there and she had ignored it. 

She ignored all signs of Ben’s feelings for her and clung to those damn rules out of her own fear and selfishness...and she hurt Ben in the process. If Rey was being honest with herself - something she didn’t allow herself to do very often - Ben offered to her everything she could ever want but was too scared to let herself pursue. It was a way for her to have some semblance of control in her life. Her own parents had hurt her so deeply by abandoning her as a child and then she spent years being tossed around from on foster home to the next, the whole time feeling powerless, out of control, and completely at the mercy of the system. 

That was why she preferred to keep to herself and not let people in. If she didn’t let them in then she couldn’t be hurt when they inevitably left...and everyone left eventually. Ben and Finn were the first people to stick around for so long but Finn didn’t get under her skin the way Ben did. 

Ben had this way of coaxing details out of her. He made her want to open up to him in a way that she didn’t even realize how much she’d revealed to him until after the fact. And with each thing she revealed to him it was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders that she didn’t realize she had been carrying around. That feeling only made her want to let him in even more. She wanted to bare her soul - every deep, dark part of it that she kept hidden from the world - to him...and that scared the shit out of her. 

Having lost the last bit of self restraint within her, Rey grabbed her phone off the nightstand and laid back down on her hotel bed. She looked at it for a second, contemplating her next actions before pulling up her voicemail box. There was only one voicemail there...the one Ben had left her the other day after she had declined his call. 

Her thumb hovered over the play button, hesitating to press it. She longed to hear his voice once more but was terrified of the things she would hear from it. 

“Fuck it,” she said, pressing play and bringing her phone up to her ear. 

_ “Rey, it’s me,” _ he began, a feeling of warmth washing over her at the sound of his voice.  _ “Look, I really think we need to talk about everything.”  _

Her initial gut reaction at that moment was to stop the voicemail and toss her phone away. Rey despised conversations like this. It’s why she avoided Ben after the first time they slept together. Conversations like this required her to address her feelings and talk about things she normally buried deep down within herself and locked away. But she fought that instinct and forced herself to keep listening. 

_ “I should’ve never proposed to you like that— that was a stupid move and I should’ve known it would scare you off...But you need to know that I meant everything I said. I love you, Rey.” _

Rey felt her heart constrict at the sound of him telling her those words once more. A noticeably different reaction than the last time she’d heard them from him.

_ “I love you with every fiber of my being and if you would just let me, I know I could make you happy and show you that love doesn’t always have to end in someone getting hurt....I could go on but I would rather say all of this stuff to you and not your voicemail box. So just...please call me, Rey. Please just give us a chance to at least talk this out…Or tell me to fuck off and that you never want to hear from me again...but don’t just leave without at least saying goodbye to me. With all the years that we’ve been best friends, I at least deserve a goodbye.” _

He did deserve a goodbye...he deserved so much better than she’d given him. Ben deserved someone who could take that leap with him and give him everything he’s ever wanted in life; love, a future, marriage, a family, happiness...and no matter how much it killed Rey to imagine anyone else at Ben’s side, she didn’t know how to give him what he needed. She didn’t think she was capable of it. 

_ “I hope to talk to you soon. But if not, good luck with the new job. I’m sure you’ll be great, sweetheart….Bye.” _

It wasn’t until hearing Ben’s goodbye that Rey realized she had begun to cry. It was like a damn broke within her and everything she had been holding back and kept locked deep down within her was let loose.

_ Benny...oh Benny....What have I done?... _

She had hurt Ben...her Ben...her best friend. She had broke his heart and run away. She...god she was a horrible person wasn’t she?

He was the one person that truly mattered to her and she pushed him away and for what? All because she was too damn scared of her feelings. 

Still gripping her phone tightly in her hands, Rey dialed the number of the only person she felt she could run to in that moment.

It only took a few rings before her call was answered.

“Hey, Peanut,” Finn’s voice was soft and gentle. 

“I fucked up, Finn,” she croaked out, her voice uneven thanks to her tears. 

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he said plainly. 

That right there, that was why she had called Finn. Finn wasn’t going to sugarcoat or bullshit her for the sake of her feelings. Finn would tell her like it was - even if it meant pissing her off or hurting her feelings. He was too good do anything but tell her the blatant truth.

“Have you seen him?” She asked, her voice almost a whisper. 

“I have.”

“How— how is he?” Rey hesitated, unsure if she actually wanted to know the answer to her question.

“He’s...he’s a mess, Rey. He blames himself.”

“He— what? It’s not— this was my doing. I fucked this up. This isn’t his fault…”

The thought of Ben distraught, blaming himself for this mess killed her. Ben did nothing wrong...she had screwed all of this up. 

“Look, Rey, I’m gonna be brutally honest with you here. You both fucked up. You both made mistakes. Yes, you let your fear rule you for far too long, convincing yourself that you didn’t believe in love and all that bullshit, but Ben never should’ve proposed to you. There was no way that was going to go well.”

“No but…I shouldn’t have run. I should’ve talked to him. I should’ve had the guts to tell him how I feel…”

“How do you feel, Rey?” The tone of his voice indicated that he was pretty sure he already knew how she felt about Ben.

“I love him.”

She had tried to fight it for so long but all of that was for naught. Rey loved Ben more than she had ever loved anyone or anything in her life and she had already ruined it before even getting a chance to tell him.

“Then you need to tell him.”

“Finn...I can’t...maybe...maybe enough damage has been done.” 

As much as she hated to think it, maybe it was time for her and Ben to let go of each other. After all, she lived halfway across the country from him now. Rey had never imagined herself wanting to pursue a relationship with anyone, much less a long distance relationship. What if she wasn’t cut out for it and she ended up hurting Ben again in the long run? 

“Oh come on, Rey. You don’t really believe that you two are better off without each other do you?”

“I don’t know, Finn. I just— I’m so confused about everything now.”

“I know, Peanut,” he sighed. “Hey, how about I take a few days off and fly out to see you? You can show me your new apartment, we can explore the city together and maybe we talk about this some more after you’ve had some time to process everything?”

“That sounds great.”

**~          ~          ~**

_ “Ben, I’m so sorry. I...I made a huge mistake.” _

_ “Rey...I...It’s too late. What’s done is done.” _

_ “No Ben, please. Just...just give me one more chance, Ben. I’m sorry. I love you. Please.” _

_ “I wish you nothing but happiness.” _

_ “Ben, no. Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me...please don’t be like all the others. Please, Ben.” _

_ “Goodbye, Rey.” _

Rey woke up from her dream with a startle. Her heart was racing. Of course the first night she actually fell asleep relatively easily she’d end up having that dream.

Since leaving Naboo she’d been having trouble sleeping. Every night in bed she longed to feel the warmth of Ben beside her; to roll over and see his face on the pillow next to hers; to snuggle up to him, his arm around her tucking her into his side. Would that ache for him to be there ever get easier?

She reached for her phone to check the time: 10am.

_ Shit! _

She’d overslept. Finn’s plane would be landing in a half hour. Thankfully, he’d texted her the night before saying he’d just take a cab right to her hotel instead of her taking a cab just to meet him at the airport and take a cab right back to her place. 

Rey sat up in bed and for the hundredth time since talking to Finn she stared at Ben’s phone number in her phone, at war with herself over whether or not to push the dial button. 

With a frustrated sigh, she set her phone back down and went to shower. 

As she shampooed her hair she made up her mind: today would be the day she’d bite the bullet and call Ben. Either he’d answer or he wouldn’t. But she had things she needed to say to him, even if she had to say them to his voicemail in order for him to hear them. After all, he poured his heart out to her in her voicemail box so she could do the same for him right? 

Rey was terrified of the possibilities that could come along with calling him. But she was done letting fear rule her; no more running. She loved Ben so she would do this for him. She would try, she had to try. She had to try to talk to him, apologize and try to earn his forgiveness. Rey expecting nothing in return though. The way she’d hurt Ben left the kind of wound that wasn’t easily healed. If Ben couldn’t find it in him to open his heart to her and let her in again, she wouldn’t blame him. It would hurt, but she would understand. After all, it’d taken her this long to open her heart to him.

She exited the shower, going back to the main area of her hotel room and checked her phone. Finn had texted her: his plane landed and he was on his way to her.

Rey towel dried her hair before getting dressed for the day. Finn and her were going to do some sight seeing and she was going to show him her new apartment.

Just then she heard a knock on her hotel room door. Finn was here. 

“Just a second!” she called out.

Rey made her way over to the door and opened it. She never would’ve guessed what she would see there waiting for her in the hotel hallway.

“You’re not Finn.”

He was standing there with dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days, his long raven hair disheveled, and a look of anxiety ridden hope strewn across his face. 

_ Ben... _

“No, I’m not,” Ben replied.

They stood there, silence engulfing them as they simply took in the sight of each other. The air around them seemed to hum, an electric charge flowing through it as the past several days of hurt, confusion, and not talking culminated in a surge of tension - anxious, romantic, sexual and otherwise. All the words still left unsaid hung between them as they allowed themselves the simple pleasure that it was to be standing in front of one another once more. 

“Finn was never coming was he?” Rey asked, already sure she knew the answer.

“No,” Ben confirmed her suspicions. “Can I come in? Or are you gonna make me stand in this hallway all day?” He cracked a slight smile, trying to dissolve some of the tension.

“Oh, um, yeah come in.”

Ben leaned down to pick up the duffel bag that sat at his feet before stepping inside her hotel room, letting the door close behind him.

“So…,” Rey said, wanting to break the silence but not sure what to say yet as Ben set his bag aside.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.

“Ben, you don’t have to— this isn’t your fault. I—”

“I do have to apologize. I never should’ve asked you to marry me. That was— that was a terrible idea,” he said, his tone so sincere it killed her. He really did think he was to blame for this mess.

“I shouldn’t have run. Not from you that night, not from Naboo…I should’ve stayed. I should’ve said goodbye. I should’ve said so much to you…”

“I made you run. I proposed. I—I pushed too far too fast….if I had just told you how I felt instead to trying to give you that damn ring you wouldn’t have—”

“Ben, stop. Please,” Rey begged. She couldn’t take it anymore, listening to him continuously blame himself. “You did not make me run. That was my choice. I did that. I let my fears control me and I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for that.”

“But if I hadn’t proposed—”

“I probably would’ve ran anyways,” she interrupted him, her eyes cast at the floor. Her guilt and shame keeping her from looking him in the eyes. “Maybe not right away but….It’s what I do. I push people away. I don’t let them in, I don’t let myself get close to them because if my life has taught me anything it’s that everyone leaves eventually.”

“Because your parents left you?” Ben guessed, his voice so soft and gentle.

Rey gave a slight nod, still averting her eyes away from his gaze. Ben moved closer to her, lessening the space between them. 

“Rey,” he said gently, trying to bring her attention back to him.

She couldn’t look at him though, she was too ashamed of herself. Her parents might’ve left her a long time ago but she was still allowing them to have control over her life. Rather than let go and make peace with her past, Rey clung to it and allowed the the feelings of abandonment to cloud her judgment and dictate her relationships or lack thereof with those around her. So much energy and time lost all because of two people who didn’t love her enough to stay when she was a child. Now here she was, drowning in her shame and remorse after having left Ben just as her parents left her. 

Her vision began to blur as her eyes began to fill with tears. All of the emotions within her were building up and her body was desperate to release them in any way. 

“Sweetheart, please look at me,” Ben pleaded, bringing his hand to her cheek, wiping away a stray tear with the swipe of his thumb. It wasn’t until her eyes were finally gazing back at his that he said, “I will never leave you. Never.”

“I believe you,” she whispered, and she meant it.

As she gazed into his eyes she saw the truth behind his words, Ben would never leave her or hurt her. His love was pure and true and she knew he would always be there.

They continued to gaze at each other, silence permeating the air around them as they moved closer and closer as if some force was pulling them together. And then their faces were mere inches apart, Ben was going to kiss her, she knew it and fuck did she want it. She’d never wanted to kiss him so much but not yet...she had one last thing to say first.

“Ben?” she breathed.

“Mmm,” he hummed, his eyes completely fixed on her lips now, a man on a mission for what he craved most.

“I love you,” she said to him for the very first time, a hint of a hopeful smile painted on her face.

And suddenly Ben’s eyes were no longer on her lips, they were gazing back at hers, a stare so intense she felt as if it would burn right into her very soul. She would never forget the look on his face in that moment; the look of relief, joy, desire, hope, and love...so much love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH FINALLY!!!!!! My bbs <3
> 
> It's taken a lot for us to get here but we finally did! These two idiots are finally gonna get the happiness they deserve! Only a few chapters left to go. I don't expect this story will go much further than 15-16 chapters at the most. It's going to be sad leaving this story behind but I have a few more ideas that I've been working on that I can't wait to share with you. 
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta,[reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	13. As Long As You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 has finally arrived!
> 
> I am so so sorry for the long wait, guys. My college semester started and life got real crazy for awhile there. How does a chapter full of smut sound?? Hopefully this will make up for the wait. ;)

_ “Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight _

_ I need help believing you're with me tonight _

_ My wildest dreamings could not foresee _

_ Lying beside you with you wanting me _

_ And just for this moment, as long as you're mine _

_ I've lost all resistance and crossed some border line _

_ And if it turns out it's over too fast _

_ I'll make every last moment last _

_ As long as you're mine” _

_ \- “As Long As You’re Mine” from Wicked _

 

“I love you,” Rey’s eyes pierced right into Ben’s as she said those words he’d longed to hear from her for such a long time. 

Ben’s emotions crashed over him like waves one after another. Relief, followed by joy, followed by an overwhelming tidal wave of love and desire. Rey was here, in front of him, finally confirming her feelings for him. She loved him. Rey loved him. The very same woman he’d been in love with for the better part of six years was in love with him too.

For a second Ben thought he must be dreaming. Surely he’d fallen asleep on the plane and his subconscious was deciding to give him a glimpse of everything he always wanted. Was this a cruel trick of his mind? A way to get his hopes up before the reality of arriving to her place and pleading for her forgiveness and understanding? 

He would’ve been convinced that it was except for the fact that his subconscious had never been so kind to him. Ben was prone to dreams of a darker nature, it’d been that way his whole life. He was either plagued by nightmares in his sleep or he simply didn’t dream. When Rey left, his sleep had been filled with images of her leaving all over again. His subconscious would replay his ill advised proposal on a constant loop in his sleep, only the version in his sleep was often worse than reality. 

This, right now - Rey standing in front of him with a smile full of hope (an emotion that had been scarcely present on her face until now) after having just told Ben she loved him - this was too good to have come from his cruel subconscious. No, this was real. 

“Benny?”

_ Shit. Way to space out after the love of your life professes her love for you, dumbass. _

“I just...I never thought I’d actually hear you say that,” he said, staring down at Rey in awe. “I love you too.”

“So,” she began, beaming up at him, her eyes staring deep into his. “We’re doing this?”

“I think we are,” Ben answered, his smile so big he felt as if his cheeks could burst. 

He’d never seen Rey like this; so hopeful, so joyous, so full of love. Having Rey look at him like that was doing things to him and all he wanted to do was fuse his lips to hers and take her to bed, show her how much he missed her, how much he loves her. But, much to his cock’s dismay, he had some things he needed to say first. 

“But no more running, Rey. Not from me or us or anything. If we’re doing this then you have to be all in. Because you...you are it for me. There’s no one else for me. And I know that scares you, I know, it scares me too. Because we don’t know what the future holds, anything could happen tomorrow or the day after or the next day, but, sweetheart, I promise that I will fight for you and us always. No matter what. Nothing is going to take me away from you if I have anything to say about it. I’m all in, baby. You have to be all in too.”

“No more running,” Rey vowed. “Never again. I’m so tired of running and fighting my feelings. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I almost lost you because of my own stupidity and stubbornness and...I don’t want to lose you, Ben. I can’t lose you. I’m all in. You’re going to have to be patient with me at times because I’m gonna fuck up at some point. I’m going to make mistakes. I’ve never done the relationship thing before. But I want this, Ben. More than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my life.”

“I’ll be as patient as you need me to be, sweetheart.” He knew what he was getting into. Ben knew that Rey’s instinct to run wasn’t going to just go away overnight. The first time they had a fight that instinct would likely show it’s face once again but he would help her fight it. “I know you’ve never done this. You don’t know what it’s like to be in a relationship. I’ll show you. We’ll take everything one step at a time and can take things as slow you need to. We’ll do it all together.”

“Together,” Rey echoed, testing out the word for herself. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too,” Ben agreed.

“Now kiss me like you miss me,” Rey smiled.

Needing no more encouraging, Ben crashed his lips against hers. His hand moved from her cheek to entangle itself in Rey’s hair while his other arm wrapped around her waist to bring her body flush against his. The feeling of Rey’s lips on his own once again, the feeling of her body pressed up to his was heaven. Rey, his Rey -  and she actually was  _ his  _ Rey now - was here...she was just as much his as he was hers. She always had been despite her trying to deny it for so long. But none of that mattered now. Nothing that existed outside of that hotel room mattered.

Rey’s hands clawed at his back over his shirt, fisting the material so tightly Ben was sure it was about to rip right off of him. She parted her lips, allowing Ben’s tongue to meet her own. The moan that escaped her mouth went straight to Ben’s cock. It’d been far too long since they’d been together. He physically ached to know the feeling of her warm pussy squeezing him tight as she writhed in pleasure underneath him. He fought to keep his hips from jolting against her, not wanting to rush Rey. 

Just because they’d been together before didn’t mean she was ready for it right now. After all, this would be their first time actually committed to each other; it would be different. It was sure to bring about intense emotions and Ben wasn’t sure Rey was ready for that. If she wasn’t ready, Ben would wait as long as she needed him to, no matter how much his dick was begging for more.

Lucky for him, Rey had no such plans of waiting. She pulled her mouth from Ben’s, brought her mouth to his ear and gave a slight tug on his earlobe with her teeth before speaking. 

“Take me to bed, Ben,” she demanded, her voice raspy as she tried to catch her breath. 

“Rey,” he began, gasping for breath as well. “We don’t have to...if you want to wait we—”

He was cut off, temporarily rendered unable to speak, when one of Rey’s hands moved to cup the bulge in his pants. He let out a moan as he thrusted his hips into her hand. 

“I want you, Ben Solo. I want you to take me to that bed and fuck me like I know you can. But if that’s not what you want, tell me now. I can always take care of myself,” she teased, knowing fully that Ben was only trying to be a good guy, a gentleman...but gentle wasn’t exactly what he wanted to be with her right then.

Without warning, Ben crouched down and wrapped his arms around Rey’s legs and threw her over his shoulder, her glorious peachy ass right next to his face. 

“Ah! Ben!” she squealed when he picked her up and he gave her ass a nice smack before tossing her down onto the bed. 

She propped herself up on elbows, watching Ben as he kneeled between her bent legs. He ran his hands up her thighs and passed the waistband of her leggings to take the hem of her shirt in his hands. 

“These clothes have got to go,” he murmured and she brought her arms up, allowing him to pull her shirt over her head revealing the sight of her perfect tits peeking out of a barely there black lace bra. 

He let out a groan at the sight and lowered his head to her chest, his mouth closing around one of her nipples to suck it over the lace for a moment before pulling away. His hands moved lower, his fingers hooking around the waistband of her leggings and panties, pulling them both down her legs and off at the same time. 

The sight of her bare pussy, wet and dripping before him was absolutely intoxicating. Nevermind the throbbing bulge in his pants, Ben’s mouth was watering and he needed to taste her again immediately. He got off the bed and kneeled on the floor as he spread her legs further, revealing more and more of her wetness to him. 

Ben could feel Rey’s eyes on him with every move he made. It didn’t make him nervous though, the knowledge that she was watching him excited him and spurred him on more. He leaned in closer, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh and licking his lips before finally bringing his mouth to her cunt. 

His tongue licked right up her slit, brushing against her clit and giving him the first taste of her that he’d had in what seemed like forever. Rey tasted fucking divine. Just as before, once he got one taste he couldn’t get enough - not until she was squirming and cumming on his tongue. He lapped at her folds, his tongue alternating between swirling around her clit and dipping inside her to taste every last inch of her. 

The sounds coming out Rey’s mouth as he ate her out were music to Ben’s ears. Every moan, every gasp, every whimper urged him on. 

“Oh, Ben! Ben, I’m so close,” she cried out, her hands tugging at his hair, like she was trying to pull his mouth even closer to her. 

At her words, Ben carefully thrusted two fingers inside her sopping wet cunt as he sucked and licked at her clit. He curled his fingertips inward towards him, brushing against that sweet spot that drove her wild. Within seconds Rey was yelling out strings of profanity laced with his name as her pussy clamped down on his fingers, coating them in her cum. 

Once she settled down from the high of her climax, Ben withdrew his fingers from her and brought them to his mouth. Making direct eye contact with her, he sucked every last drop of her cum off his fingers before standing up. One by one, Ben removed every last piece of his clothing until he was standing naked before her, his cock jutting out proud and painfully hard. 

He got onto the bed and crawled over Rey’s body, covering it with his own. Rey’s arms came up to wrap around his neck and pull him closer and bring his lips down to hers. As they kissed, one of Ben’s hands slid around to Rey’s back and unclasped her bra. He pulled back from her kiss and removed her bra, finally leaving her perfect tits bare for him. His hand that wasn’t supporting his weight instantly went to cup one of her breasts, his thumb lightly brushing over the nipple causing it to instantly harden under his touch. His mouth latched around her other nipple, sucking and nipping at it. Her back arched off the bed as she moaned which only caused her nipple to go further into his mouth. He kept lavishing her perfect tits with attention until her fingers wound into his hair and pulled his face back up towards hers. 

“In me. Now, Ben. Please,” she whined.

“As you wish,” he smirked, lining his cock up to her entrance.

He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, revelling in the feeling of being completely surrounded by Rey’s warmth. This was perfect. This was right. Being joined with Rey in this way once again after their time apart felt like coming home. Strings of profanity escaped both of their mouths accompanied by sharp intakes of breath as he filled her, her pussy stretching to accommodate his length. Once he was fully sheathed in her warmth, Ben remained still for a few moments to simply gaze upon Rey. He wanted to memorize the look on her face for it was one he had not previously seen there before in moments like this. 

This was Rey. All of Rey. Unfiltered, not holding back, everything she was and everything she felt. This was perhaps the first time he was seeing her with her letting him in one hundred percent. He could see everything she was feeling; the pleasure, the ecstasy, the love, the passion...he could see with absolute certainty that she was feeling everything he was feeling. The two of them were meant to be together in this way. They fit together so perfectly and it felt so right. There was no doubt in Ben’s mind that Rey was not just his past and present, she was also his future. She was his everything. 

Ben began to thrust in and out of her, keeping a leisurely pace. He wanted to drive Rey mad with the feeling of him moving inside her at such a slow speed. Her brow creased and her mouth hung open as she reveled in the sensations. 

“Ben,” she moaned out, wrapping her legs around his torso and digging her heels into his ass to pull him closer.

“Yes, love?” he grinned. 

“More...faster....please,” she breathed in between his thrusts. 

And with that he picked up his pace, gradually thrusting faster and faster. His knuckles were white from his viciously tight grip on the bedsheets beside Rey’s head. He was desperately trying to keep from blowing his load inside her too soon, determined to bring her to the brink once more before he would allow himself that release. 

Before long, Ben was slamming into her, angling his thrusts so that his cock brushed against her g-spot with every move he made. The room filled with the sound of each of them moaning each other’s names amidst a flood of incoherent grunts and whimpers.

He could feel her pussy beginning to tighten its grip on his cock as her arms wrapped around his torso. Her hands grabbed at his skin, her nails scratching and clawing. The sting of her nails digging into his skin paired with the intense pleasure of being inside her was incredible.

He shifted his weight to one side and reached behind himself to grab one of Rey’s hands, bringing it back down to the bed beside her head as he intertwined their fingers. 

“Ben...I love you,” Rey moaned, her words going straight to his cock. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, thrusting harder. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” she repeated, her eyes locking with his.

“Again,” he grunted, driving into her even harder. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” she cried out, her whimpers punctuated by Ben’s thrusts as her pussy clamped down on his cock tighter and tighter until she was finally coating his length in her cum.

“Fuck, Rey.”

“Ben!”

They both moaned out as they reached their release in unison. The pleasure was more intense than Ben had ever experienced before. The intimacy of looking into Rey’s eyes and the sound of her voice filled with pleasure as she proclaimed her love for him was absolute bliss. 

He continued to thrust into her as they each rode out their orgasms, his pace growing slower each time, before reluctantly pulling out and collapsing onto the bed beside her. Rey cuddled in close and curled up at his side as he wrapped his arms around her. The atmosphere around them seemed to hum in contentment. This was truly heaven on earth as far as Ben was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They made love!!! Finally!! <3 This chapter was really a joy to write because for the first time, these two lovebirds are finally on the same page with each other. 
> 
> And now I have a bittersweet announcement...this will be the last regular chapter of Remembering Sunday. This story has gone far beyond what I originally expected just by being more than 10 chapters long and having the following that it does. With Rey and Ben finally being together and Rey being open about her feelings the plot to this story has come to a close so now it's time to say goodbye to this story. I could probably keep going and crank out a few more regular chapters before the epilogue but this feels like a good place to end it. As much as I will miss these two I am looking forward to writing the epilogue and giving you all a glimpse into their happy life together with a small time jump to their 1st anniversary. 
> 
> Even though we will be saying goodbye to this story, I do have another Reylo fic in the works that I hope to begin posting soon so keep an eye out! Thank you guys so much for your continued support for this story and my writing. It means the world to me. <3 
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta,[reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011).
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Finally, your kudos and comments are very much appreciated! I love hearing what you guys think!


	14. Epilogue - Death of a Bachelor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry that I have kept you all waiting so long for this epilogue. I'm sure you all know, life happens and so does writers block. Thank you all for waiting patiently.
> 
> This epilogue is dedicated to my amazing girlfriend <3.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!

_“Put my heart on my chest so that you can see it, too_

_I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall_

_The lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?_

_The death of a bachelor_

_Letting the water fall_

_The death of a bachelor_

_Seems so fitting for_

_Happily ever after_

_How could I ask for more?_

_A lifetime of laughter_

_At the expense of the death of a bachelor”_

_\- “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! at the Disco_

A year is a very long time when you really think about it. A lot can change in a year and for Ben and Rey a lot did change. After reuniting and professing their love for one another in Coruscant a whole new journey began for the two of them.

After basking in the bliss of finally being together again there was lots of talk and debate between the couple about what happens next. Ben, of course, was ready to jump immediately and leave his job and his life in Naboo behind to join Rey in Coruscant. He wanted to buy a place for the two of them to share together and spend every morning and night with her...Rey on the other hand, was not ready to move so fast…

_“Ben, you can’t be serious! You can’t just up and quit your job and move here,” Rey exclaimed, feelings of anxiety beginning to stir within her._

_“I am very serious, Rey, and yes I can move here. The publishing company I work for has a branch right here in Coruscant. I could put in a request to transfer. And if that doesn’t work I can always take some time away from working and live off my trust fund while I write a novel like I’ve always wanted to. Maybe I do some freelance writing or something too. But, sweetheart, there is nothing preventing me from leaving Naboo and being here with you. We could live together if we want. This can work.”_

_Rey bit her lip as she considered Ben’s declaration. He was right. This could work and having Ben here sounded much better than trying to manage a long distance relationship with him. But still...she couldn’t help but feel that overwhelming urge to run for the hills._

_“Ben, you...I...I’m not sure I’m ready for this…” she whispered, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes. She felt like she was fucking up already. She’d just got Ben back and now here she was pushing back again. What was wrong with her?_

_“What are you not ready for, baby? Us? Me moving here? Living together? What is it?” He questioned, sensing as she began to pull away but Rey couldn’t speak. Not even one day into being in a relationship with Ben and she was already disappointing him. “Rey, you have to talk to me,” he spoke softly, cupping her face in his hands._

_“It’s just too much too fast, Ben,” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper._

_“Which part of it, baby? Me moving here? I guess I can stay in Naboo and we can do long distance if you’d prefer—”_

_“No! No long distance. That’s not what I want….I just...I don’t think I’m ready for us to live together…” At this point she couldn’t even look him in the eye._

_“Rey,” he began, nudging her chin up with his hand so that she was looking at him again. “I told you, we will take things one step at a time and as slow as you need to. I meant that.”_

_“It’s not that I don’t want to, Ben...It’s just too soon.”_

_“I know, baby. I understand. One step at a time.”_

After that little debate all the decisions seemed to fall into place for them. His mother’s family had a penthouse apartment in Coruscant that was left empty for the majority of the year. So long as he got the okay from Leia, which was pretty much given and just a matter of asking, Ben would move in there and Rey would get her own place.

Of course Ben had one stipulation if they were going to live separately for the foreseeable future.

_“I want us to spend the weekends together. We can alternate who’s place we stay out each weekend but there is no way I’m going to spend every night away from you.”_

It didn’t take much to get Rey to agree to that. Truth be told, she didn’t like the idea of spending every night away from Ben either. And she thought perhaps this might be a way for her to prepare herself for eventually moving in with him someday.

One year later, that was still their official living arrangements but, realistically, these days they spent most nights at Ben’s penthouse. Anymore Rey’s place was just a formality. Knowing it was there was like a security blanket for Rey. She knew that if something happened with her and Ben, if they got in a fight (which there had been a few over the months) she could get away and go to her apartment to give her and Ben each some space. But if she was being honest with herself, she was ready to let it go. She was ready to take that next step with Ben and move in together...maybe even getting engaged. In the past year she had made more progress with her abandonment issues and her inexperience with relationships than she ever would’ve imagined. She’d been trying to drop hints but either Ben was just that dense or he hadn’t noticed because he’d made no attempt to ask her to move in since that night they got together.

But tonight was their anniversary and unlike her boyfriend, she was observant enough to notice the hints Ben had been dropping that he had something very special up his sleeve. She couldn’t wait to see what he had planned. All she knew was that he would be picking her up at six and he told her to dress casual. She hadn’t the slightest clue what he was up to.

When six o’clock rolled around and Ben showed up at her apartment, Rey was all dressed and ready to go to wherever it was that he was taking her. She’d picked out her outfit carefully, wanting to make sure it would be appropriate for anything. Feeling like it was a safe bet she chose to wear a pair of jeans, a drapey knit top with lace trim around the neckline and sleeves, and a pair of flats. She kept her makeup simple, lightly lining her top lashes with some eyeliner and adding mascara and a touch of blush on her cheeks.

Opening her apartment door revealed a somewhat anxious Ben dressed in jeans and a black button down shirt, his eyes cast on the floor. The second his eyes met hers, all traces of nervousness faded from his face and was replaced by a look of complete love and adoration.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart,” Ben smiled sweetly as he took in the sight of Rey before him.

“You don’t look half bad yourself,” she blushed, leaning in to kiss him.

Their lips brushed only briefly before Ben pulled back and said, “I believe our carriage awaits us, m’lady.”

“You didn’t actually get us a carriage did you, babe?”

“I’m not gonna lie,” he paused, taking her hand in his. “I thought about it. But with the weather tonight looking iffy I thought a more modern approach would be a better idea.”

“What exactly does that mean?” she wondered, her mouth turning up into a curious smile.

“You’ll see,” he answered, his vague response accompanied by a hint of a mischievous grin as they exited her apartment.

Being the chivalrous man that he is, Ben held the door to Rey’s building open and allowed her to go through before him. As she stepped outside she noticed a sleek, black stretch limo parked on the street right in front of her building and a man in a suit standing at the passenger door.

“Mr. Solo,” the man greeted Ben as he opened the limo door.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks.

“Wait, Ben, is this limo for us?”

“Yes it is, my love,” he smiled. “Go on and get in.”

Rey complied and ducked into the luxurious vehicle. Ben got in behind her, sliding right up next to her on the bench seating as the driver walked around to his seat.

The limo pulled away from the curb and out into the street and Rey couldn’t help but look everywhere and anywhere in the limo to take in all of its features. She’d never been in one before and quite honestly never thought she would be in one. Her gaze finally landed back on Ben, catching him watching her with such amusement and adoration.

“So, you like this surprise?” Ben wondered.

“Ben — I— Yes of course I love it but it— you didn’t have to do this,” she stuttered.

“It’s our first anniversary, Rey. I want everything about this night to be special. You deserve nothing but the best.”

Rey felt her heart swell at her boyfriend’s words. She really was the luckiest woman in the world. It was beyond her how she made it six years of knowing him without seeing what a catch he truly is.

“Benny…,” she smiled, feeling tears begin to form in her eyes.

“And this isn’t the last surprise of the night,” he added as he reached into his pocket and pulled two tickets out of his pocket.

“It isn’t?”

“Nope,” he grinned and handed the tickets to Rey.

“Benjamin Solo…” she said as she took the tickets from him. The words were just registering in her mind when the limo came to a stop. “No way! Benny, you didn’t!”

“I did,” he replied, his grin growing even wider.

Rey looked him and then back to the tickets once more. She read the words on them once again and sure enough it was real.

The tickets read:

**Panic! at the Disco - Pray for the Wicked Tour**

**Section: Floor A**

**Row: 1**

“Ben! We’re sitting front row for Panic!?”

“We are, baby.”

She wasn’t sure what she’d ever done to deserve such wonderful things from such a wonderful man but she wasn’t going to waste time questioning or doubting ever again. Ben Solo loved her and she loved him and that was all that mattered. Besides, she’d learned by now after being in a relationship with him for a year that no amount of arguing with him would stop him from doing such amazing things to show her how much he loved her. It wasn’t always big elaborate things like a limo ride and a concert - sometimes it was drawing a warm bath for the two of them and giving her a back rub in the tub to help her relax after a rough day. Sometimes it was surprising her with a delicious home cooked meal already waiting for her when she got home from work. Ben never stopped showering her with affection and Rey would never stop trying to be the woman that deserved it all, the woman that Ben deserved.

**~          ~          ~**

They arrived at the arena and made it through security at the entrance with much ease. However, Rey noticed that something seemed off about Ben at the metal detectors, almost like he was afraid of losing his possessions when having to empty his pockets.  When she questioned him about it he simply shrugged it off saying that he thought it was unfortunate that such tight security at a concert was necessary these days.

Rey let it go, figuring Ben was just worried that something would go wrong and mess up their anniversary celebration but she couldn’t see how that was possible. He’d already made the night more wonderful than Rey could’ve ever imagined and she didn’t think anything could spoil it.

The grin he shot at her as they walked passed the long lines for merchandise was not lost on Rey.

“If you think I’m going to let you buy me a shirt again you are quite mistaken, Benjamin,” she joked. “You already got me a limo and front row tickets.”

“Wasn’t even thinking about that, sweetheart,” he chuckled as they continued to move towards their seats.

As they made their way through the aisles, Rey couldn’t shake the feeling that Ben had something else up his sleeve but she couldn’t figure out what it was. What could he possibly have planned that could top front row seats to her favorite band?

Once the concert began all such thoughts left her mind. Rey was far too captivated in Brendon Urie’s performance to think of anything else. That didn’t, however, prevent her mind from wandering to the past in the moments between songs.

Things between her and Ben were so different the last time they saw this band live. Back then Rey was only a junior staffer for a small magazine in Naboo working on her first coverline piece. Not to mention the fact that Rey was still stuck on her lack of faith in love, too blind to see that Ben loved her even then, and too dumb to realize that she had already begun to fall for him too. Here she was now, head over heels in love with Ben on their first anniversary and a senior writer at one of the most prestigious publications in Coruscant.

So much had changed in both her personal and professional lives and she couldn’t be happier. She was in love with a wonderful man and she had a great job. Things for Rey had never been better in her entire life.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden increase in the sound level of screams from the crowd in the arena. Looking around, she noticed that Brendon Urie was making his way through the crowd as he sang his song “Death of a Bachelor.” Everyone in the arena was going nuts, especially the people he walked by on the floor. Rey’s eyes were stuck on the screen, watching as Brendon moved closer and closer towards the stage and the area her and Ben were standing in. She was so fixated on watching the singer interact with his fans that she didn’t even notice Ben’s increasing nervousness or that his hand that wasn’t holding hers was in his pocket seemingly holding onto something.

All the sudden, Brendon Urie was in front of them and was no longer singing.

“Are you Rey?” Urie asked with a smile.

“Um...yes,” she answered nervously.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you once again,” he greeted her.

_Again?! There is no way he remembers that...._

“Is this lucky man here your boyfriend?” All Rey could do to answer was nod her head. She was too dumbfounded, confused, excited...she didn’t know which way was up or down in that moment. “Would the two of you like to join me on stage for a moment?”

Rey looked over to Ben and he was smiling nervously as if he knew what was coming.

“Did you do this?” she asked incredulously.

“I might have,” he grinned sheepishly.

The curiosity was brewing and growing within her as Rey and Ben followed Brendon up onto the stage. Once up there, Urie led the couple right to center stage right in front of his microphone stand. All eyes in the arena were on Ben and Rey, everyone else just as clueless and curious as Rey. She hadn’t the faintest idea what was happening or how Ben made it happen.

“So normally this is the part of the song where the horns do their thing and I dance around the stage like a fool until it’s my turn to sing again but we’re going to do things a little differently tonight,” Brendon spoke into his mic.

“What’s going on Ben?” Rey asked, feeling like she could go mad from not knowing.

“You’ll see,” he replied before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Brendon walked over to them, put one hand on Ben’s shoulder and said, “Do you all know what this is?” He paused and looked at Ben. “This is a man in love. A man who would do anything for the woman he loves, even send a hundred and twenty three emails to her favorite band’s manager just to make this moment happen. And, well I think I’ll let him take it from here,” he said, placing the microphone on the stand in front of them.

“Benny?” Rey whispered as Ben moved to stand opposite of her in front of the microphone.

“Rey, you have been my best friend for more than seven years now,” he began, taking her hands in his. “I’ve known for a very long time that there is no other woman in the world for me. Something inside me has always known that you and I are meant to be, even if it did take me six years to get you to see that and believe in it too. Still, I wouldn’t change a damn thing about our story, sweetheart. No matter how long the road, it was still the road that led us here celebrating our one year anniversary. This past year has been the most amazing, happiest time of my life and I can’t wait to spend many, many more years with you. I love you, sweetheart, with all my heart, with everything I am.”

“I love you too, Ben,” she said, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes.

“Oh good because I have something to ask you and it’s kind of a big question.”

_He couldn’t be...this can’t be...is he going to--_

And then Ben was getting down on one knee and all coherent thought went right out Rey’s head when she saw him pull a small velvet box out of his pocket. This was it. This was exactly what she thought it was.

“You are the love of my life, Rey. And if you let me, I can think of no better way to spend the rest of my life than at your side, trying to make you as incredibly happy as you make me. Will you marry me?” He opened the box revealing the very same ring that he had proposed to her with just over a year prior. His grandmother’s ring.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, Ben!” she answered, tears of joy spilling out of her eyes. Ben stood up and Rey practically launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hiding her face in the crook of his neck. The entire arena was applauding and cheering, the band included, as Ben locked his arms around Rey’s torso and lifted her off the ground, spinning them around in joy. Ben then set her down and took her left hand from behind his neck, bringing it between them to slid the ring onto her finger where it would remain for the rest of her life.

Words could not describe the amount of joy and love Rey felt in that moment. There was simply no way to quantify it. Ben had always been hers and she had always been his but now it would be official. Now she would get to tie herself to him officially and everyone would be able to take one look at her and see the ring and know that she was loved.

Rey was loved. That was something she once thought she would never have but she would thank her lucky stars every day for the rest of her life that she did. She would forever be thankful that Ben came into her life and changed it and her in ways she never could’ve expected but that were all for the better.

She was so caught up in her happy little bubble with Ben that she didn’t even notice that Brendon Urie had once again grabbed the microphone and had begun leading the crowd in a chant.

“Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her,” the singer chanted along with the crowd, causing Ben’s face to turn deep red.

“You can’t leave me hanging in front of this crowd, Benny,” Rey teased with a smirk.

Ben seemed to contemplate his options for a few seconds and mumbled, “Oh fuck it.”

Without warning he crashed his lips against hers, his arms snaking around to support her back as dipped her. The crowd erupted into a thunderous applause and cheers and Brendon Urie crooned as the band resumed the song.

Ben and Rey were allowed to stay on stage for the remainder of the song. Afterwards, Brendon Urie congratulated them and posed for a picture before security came and escorted the couple back to their seats.

They spent the rest of the concert with their arms wrapped around each other, lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes anytime they weren’t watching the band.

Their limo was waiting for them right outside the arena entry gate after the concert was over. They slid into the backseat and Ben directed the driver to take them to his penthouse.

“You’re not as unobservant as I thought,” Rey commented as she admired her engagement ring.

“What do you mean?”

“I have been dropping hints for you to propose for weeks now!”

“Oh yeah, those,” Ben chuckled as he took her left hand in his. “Yeah I caught each and every one of those. I’ve been planning this for a few months though, sweetheart,” he admitted,bringing the ring to his mouth and gave it a quick kiss before letting their joined hands drop to her lap.

“Really? For months?” Rey was surprised. A few months ago she wasn’t ready for engagement and wouldn’t have guessed that she’d be ready now. Ben hummed his affirmation which only made Rey wonder more. “How did you know I’d be ready? That I’d say yes?”

“I didn’t,” he answered plainly. “Well, I didn’t know until your little hints started. I just decided to take a leap of faith. I saw how far you’d come throughout our time together and I knew that you love me and I love you and that we’re meant to be together. And I was ready. I’ve been ready to put that ring on your finger for a very long time baby. So a few months ago I started putting things in motion little by little and then you started dropping hints and I just knew. And that brings me to the last surprise of the night,” he declared as he reached into his pants pocket.

“There’s more?! Ben Solo what else could you have possibly gotten me?”

“This,” he said as he placed a folded piece of paper in her hands.

Rey shot Ben a look of confusion before unfolding the paper to examine it’s contents. It was a printout of a townhome listing in Coruscant.

“I want us to live together. Not in my family’s penthouse or your apartment but somewhere that is ours. A place that we can make our own. A new home together,” Ben explained.

“Benny, did you buy this place for us?” Rey asked, feeling tears begin to well in her eyes.

“Not yet. I want us to go house hunting and pick a place out together. This was just one of the places I thought we could look at,” he paused, noticing a tear had slipped down Rey’s cheeks and wiping it away. “So? What do you say?” Ben asked, smiling at Rey hopefully.

“I say that I am the luckiest woman in the world. And I love you, Ben Solo. I can’t wait to find a place and make it ours.”

And with that the couple continued blissfully into their future together. It wouldn’t all be easy, there would be twists and turns and bumps in the road as could be expected, but it would be full of love and happiness and that was all that truly mattered.

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, it's been a rollercoaster ride. Thank you for sticking with me throughout this story and for trusting in this happily ever after that I had envisioned for our beloved Ben and Rey. 
> 
> I'd like to say one final thanks to [reylorobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/pseuds/ReyloRobyn2011) for being a wonderful beta for the majority of the latter half of this fic! Thank you for lending your brain to this fic and for being someone who I could talk to when I needed it as well. I probably didn't say it enough but I appreciate you so much!
> 
> Finally, thank you so so much to [Kattylove6092](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattylove6092) for beta'ing the first several chapters and this epilogue. This story would not have made it this far without you. Your continued support of Remembering Sunday throughout everything that we have been through means more to me than I can express. I love you so much, baby. May our future be as bright as happy as Ben and Rey's <3\. 
> 
> Check out my YouTube playlist for the fic [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWi3KOKWJIM&list=PLeiEkZzVQtAJWwGDxfqecD2zt3x7wrLFI).
> 
> You can still find and follow me on tumblr [here](http://kkfangirl56.tumblr.com/). I am also on the Reylo Discord under the same username but tumblr is still where I plan to post about updates and new fics. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this story keep an eye out for my next Reylo fic entitled "This Is Not A Dream." I plan to post the first chapter very soon. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated.


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